Contest Winner! October 8, 2011
Posted by brandy in games we play.comments closed
Lisa! I’m going to need your mailing address. Email me with your information.
For everyone who didn’t win… here is a prize for your eyes.
And yes, it’s from pinterest. And yes, I have shared this picture before. But can you EVER GET ENOUGH OF PUGS IN HATS?!
Here! Look at all the things I am afraid of! October 5, 2011
Posted by brandy in a possible regret, and now you might know everything, confession of the day, family, find the dorkiest sentence in this, here is my heart, i can't believe i said that, i should be a P.S.A., I sound drunk but I assure you I am not, I'm scared to see the search engine results to this, I'm yoda. Everyone else is a grasshopper, introspection sometimes causes me to drink, it happened this week, it's a long one (twss), it's always easier to say it than do it, lists, sometimes you just have to leap, thank you Eleni, this is what happens when you listen to a sad song, when strangers see you NAKED.21 comments
(inspired by one of my *favourites)
I’m thinking of blaming Nike (because after my last globalization class, I like to blame them for everything that’s wrong with the world) or all the pastel colored chick lit books that line my shelves. Or maybe I should just blame Sarah Palin because really, I enjoy blaming her for everything.
More seriously (because really, anything is more serious than Sarah Palin), I think it might be a generational thing. The idea that being afraid of anything, admitting regrets or fears is a weakness. We worked so hard to become leaders and college grads and social media mavens that we forgot it’s okay to say ‘Hey! Life is scary! Look at me, talk to me, I’m so scared I want to crawl into bed with a bottle of vodka”. Somewhere along the line, admitting to being scared turned into a weakness. Any sign of worry was a red flag that part of your life was less than stellar and maybe you should talk to someone about that. Tough stopped being about being brave enough to recognize your fears and tough became never having fears.
As I get older, I find the idea of “SHEEE-RAH! LOOK AT HOW BRAVE I AM AS I TACKLE EVERY OBSTACLE IN MY WAY! I CAN DO IT ALL AND REGRET NOTHING! WATCH AS I CONQUER THE WORLD WITH PINTEREST ENVIABLE CLOTHES, SHAMPOO COMMERCIAL HAIR, MY GORGEOUS HUSBAND/FIANCE/BOYFRIEND/RIDICULOUSLY CUTE DOG AND STRUT EVERYDAY TO MY SOUL FULFILLING JOB!”, really fucking exhausting. And because I’m exhausted and this week has had many of my fears plow me down, curb stomp me and threaten to give me a mullet- I’ve decided to share with you a few things I’m currently afraid of. I hope it prompts you to do the same. And more importantly- I hope it prompts you to share what you are scared of without feeling scared about sharing. I’m starting to sound weird. Let’s get started.
1. People judging my grammar. Isn’t that ridiculous? I know I write this blog solely for me and I write without stopping, editing or reviewing, which means each post is RIPE with errors. I know this. I try to roll my eyes at such a trivial insecurity but so many of you are grammar all-stars that I cringe thinking about you mentally noting each misused oxford comma. (And because I admitted this fear, you will now all search for grammatical errors. I KNOW HOW THIS GAME WORKS.)
2. Well, obviously the Big C. My mom was rushed to the hospital last night. They discovered she has ulcers but she also has a ‘growth’. Growth. A common word that has sent me into a maniacal cleaning frenzy only Emma Pillsbury would approve of. Because there is nothing I can do but wait for results. And if there is anything more scary than having to “wait for results” come sit by me and tell me what it is so I can beat you silly for even thinking that there is anything more scary than having to WAIT FOR RESULTS. Sadly, cancer has changed my relationship with HAD to the point where we do not speak. And when we do, it’s painful. Because we want different things, we want to achieve these goals in different ways and the only thing we can agree on is that we are both miserable. Obviously those two relationships are completely different but I’m scared that I’m not capable of dealing with another person I love going through something so devastating.
3. Being boring. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not cruising Brazil snorting cocaine off wild pumas with Justin Timberlake- but the idea of being dull is one of my greatest fears. Sure, I usually spend my weeknights playing words with friends (hi! we should play together, I’m addicted) while watching MSNBC and eating corn pops- but I DO IT WITH STYLE. And when commericals come on, I sometimes switch to Fox. Or break dance in the kitchen.
4. Ferris wheels. I can’t explain it. I’d rather go on rides that involved a chance of being consumed by blood thirsty sharks than take a chance on a creaky ferris wheel. She understands.
5. Saying no. Or doing less. Or both of those things together. This week I volunteered to enter a Christmas tree in a regional tree festival on behalf of my school. I have a $2000 budget. TO DECORATE A CHRISTMAS TREE THAT PEOPLE WILL BID ON. Do I have time to do this? Nope. I also told my drama class that I am writing a musical we will start performing next week. For 25 characters. Have I started writing this musical? Nope! Did I have ANY IDEA I WAS GOING TO VOLUNTEER TO DO THIS 2.9 SECONDS BEFORE THE THOUGHT ENTERED MY BRAIN? No. I have also signed up for two committees, gave a shaky yes to joining a 10 pin bowling team (WTF?) and agreed to GET A COLONOSCOPY (that’s a whole other story and no- it wasn’t my doctor asking). LET ME SAY IT AGAIN: MY FEAR HAS PROMPTED ME TO AGREE TO GET AN UNNECESSARY COLONOSCOPY. I need to seriously get over my fears of saying no. Like… right now.
So there you have it. I admitted to ferris wheels, cancer and not being able to say no. What are you afraid of?
*You know who Eleni is right? If you don’t, go check out her blog and do it quickly! Right now! I’m embarrassed for you if you haven’t been introduced to one of the best writers on the entire face of the planet.
“I lie to my family about how much I get paid so they won’t lecture me on how much I spend!” October 3, 2011
Posted by brandy in other people say it better, the secret project.11 comments
It’s Secret Project time!
1. I am currently living overseas and my best friend back home is battling depression. If I could do one thing for my friend it would be to take all the strength in my body and belief I have in her, out of myself and put it into her. I wish that, even for an instant she could feel what it’s like to know such a phenomenal person and how she makes us all better people, just for having her in our lives; I’m also afraid that telling her this will only make her feel worse.
2. I think I am in love with one of my friends. We dont meet that often. Infact we dont meet at all. But we chat. A lot. Have been for a few years. He is shorter than me. I have always fancied taller guys, which he knows. I think this is holding us back from being together.
3. One of my friends has an overweight child. The girl is only 4 and she’s definitely unhealthy. I’m not someone who judges people on appearance but I am concerned that this girl is going to have health issues. Her mom is a fitness fanatic but they continue to call the daughter ‘cute’ and ‘pudgy’, as though her extreme weight issues are adorable. I don’t know if I should say something or not but I am concerned.
4. One of my family members died of cancer and I can’t help but feel bitter every October when breast cancer gets treated like it’s the only cancer out there. ALL cancers matter.
5. My boss is a bitch. (That felt good to share! LOL)
6. Sometimes I wonder if I will always be the “better friend” in every friendship I am in.
7. My bf is stationed overseas and every night before I go to bed I find myself talking to him about my day. Not just thinking about talking to him, I actually find myself talking out loud, like he’s right there with me. It sounds loony, but it’s the way I feel closest to him. No one knows that I do this, I think my roommate thinks I am crazy for always muttering to myself but I am too embarrassed to share with her what I am actually doing.
8. Sometimes when I see how my kids are behaving, I feel so disappointed in myself as a mother.
9. Just once I wish someone would look at me the way my best friends husbands look at them. I don’t want to BE with any of them, I just want that look. Just once. And I am scared it’s never going to happen for me.
10. My girlfriend and I are considering a threeway (i think you guys call it a ‘threesome’). The truth is, she seems more in to it than I expected and it has me wondering if she really loves me. And because I’m her boyfriend, I know the rule is i’m supposed to be all for this but I’m not really sure how to handle this and I don’t want to tell her because i don’t want her to think i’m a loser.
ALSO, MAKE SURE TO ENTER THE BEST CONTEST EVER.
