I Gold Medal In Oversharing April 24, 2011
Posted by brandy in here is my heart, i'm the sum of my failures and my achivements, love harder, p.s. i love me, right on my sleeve, something I won't forget, sometimes you just have to leap, thank you Eleni.comments closed
Recently, I won life coaching sessions from Molly. Which (for me), seems as essential as daily viewing of sea otters on youtube before going to work (aka: ESSENTIAL LIKE OXYGEN).
One of the assignments I have this week has been to write a love letter to myself. So naturally, I decided to pull a Hermoine Granger and share this. Because sometimes I like to paint myself with the ‘overachiever’ brush. It makes me feel sophisticated and grand- like Gwyneth Paltrow minus Goop (and a body that should go to prison because it’s KILLER). But mostly I wanted to share this so people who find themselves right now where I was- see what it’s like when you come out the other side.
Dear You,
Well, this is the third attempt at writing this letter. The first one turned into a grocery list by the second sentence and the second attempt got all the way to the third paragraph before slyly morphing into a to-do list for Monday. I’m not sure what it says about me that it’s taken me three tries to write a love letter to myself when I can mentally choreograph a dance to “Dynamite” after hearing it only once on the radio. But let’s not dwell on that.
I think this is the part where I’m supposed to talk about all your major work accomplishments, relationship triumphs and celebrate your general awesomeness with exclamation points and witty banter. I should probably comment on your unique quirks and say something about your physical appearance in a positive way. Because you know that everyone is beautiful. Your mom and Dove commercials taught you that. And most days, if you truly let go, you do feel beautiful. I think this is where I’m supposed to say so many things that I’m not going to.
Instead I will say, I’m glad you made it.
I’m proud of you. For surviving a hard year and a half. For getting out of bed everyday. It took the courage of a hundred thousand Wipeout contestants to shut your alarm clock off and place your feet on the floor and face yourself on days when you wanted a world of black and quiet and sleep. I’m proud of you for talking about cancer and depression and what it feels like to have a soul so empty it hurts to breathe. For not cowering. For not quitting. I am more proud of you than you will ever know. I walk the halls at work with my head held high knowing you have survived what would have crumbled others.
I’m grateful for you. For saving us. For crying while pushing ‘publish’ and nervously calling to make your first therapy appointment. I’m thankful that you were wise enough to call out for help when you have never been more afraid. I am grateful that you knew you needed medicine and pushed your doctor until you found the one right for you. I am glad you take it everyday, knowing it’s the right choice for you.
I am happy for you. That you are making plans and setting boundaries. I am happy that you laugh more and cry less. That you answer your phone and return emails. I am happy that you dance at work and sing on your way home. I am so happy that you no longer go to sleep listening to the soundtrack of your own crying. I am happy that you brush hair that is no longer falling out and paint nails that are no longer falling off. I am happy that you are less lost and more found and that even on your darkest days, you feel like there is a bit of magic still in you.
I’m glad you made it. I’m glad you are here. I’m glad that I hear you giggle and I catch you smiling when I look in the mirror. I am glad your nights are spent laughing, not lost on back roads that lead to tears and sad songs. You took a road trip through Hell and survived with courage and strength and an unyielding spirit.
I’m glad you found your way home.
love always,
brandy
Giuliana Rancic, Anger & My Clean Bathroom April 18, 2011
Posted by brandy in AGGRESSIVE eye rolling makes me mad, anger and I have sat down for tea, because I can't do report cards 24/7, confession of the day, don't hate me for this, famous people make for good gossip, i am slowly going crazy, I'm scared to see the search engine results to this, it seemed like a good idea at the time..., it's ironic because I'm Canadian, my passive aggressiveness is devastating, sometimes i get violent, when i say it anyway.19 comments
Everything came to a point today when I told Giuliana Rancic that her tweet was dumb and she sounded shallow. Sure, I said it differently, but that’s what I was feeling when she told her 2,152,611 followers to compliment people today and then only gave examples that related to appearance.
I’m not sure why I even gave it a second thought but before I knew it- I was steaming about it. I promptly replied that it sounded like a great idea but complimenting someone on something besides their appearance might make it even better. And then I thought about it all day. Like a crazy person.
A crazy person who knows that even her angriest tweet comes across like a thumbs up and a hug.
I’m not sure if it’s how I was raised or because I’m a teacher who is forced to water down upset feelings (after all, 8 year olds have tender hearts) but I’ve never really been good about talking about being angry. Or communicating that I AM angry. Even my tweet to Giuliana, that I thought was both vicious and cutthroat came off as happy as two baby kittens holding hands and wearing tiaras. Or maybe it’s because I’m 5″2 with blonde hair and a high voice and I don’t come off as intimidating- or capable of creating a rage worthy of noting. Whatever the reason, I’ve never been the teacher people thought was strict, I’ve never been the person others have feared or have imagined being angry enough to throw a drink in someones face.
But sometimes I get angry.
When you embarrass the trainee at the drugstore by complaining how long she’s taking, I get angry. When you refuse to acknowledge my depression or ask about my life during a 3 hour conversation, I’m angry. When you drive 10 mph in a 70 mph zone and are under the age of 60, I’m angry. When you show up late without apology, when you act like I’m incapable, when you believe global warming is a myth created by Al Gore to sell dvds, I get angry. When you purposely leave people out to make yourself feel more included, I get angry (and sad for you because let’s face it- that’s pathetic). When you don’t send your child to school with a lunch, I get angry. When you blame their inability to learn on me, I get irate. When you refuse to recycle, think slurs are appropriate slang, constantly whine about your life without thinking about making a change, I get angry. When you complain about not being in touch but don’t pick up the phone, I get angry. When you continue to buy beauty magazines when you know they make you feel horrible, I get angry. When the only time you email is when you need something I can give, I get angry. And hurt.
And I guess that’s what anger is. Hurt feelings combined with adrenaline. Sadness, confusion or depression on steroids and looking for action. When I’m solely sad, I meltdown- slowly. I crumble into a heap of unwashed hair and dirty clothes. Used kleenex and achy limbs. But when I’m hurt or offended and allow anger to find a way to seep in- I take action. I scrub, I clean, I run, I write… I tweet. I will always prefer anger to sadness- there’s always something to show for my feelings. A clean bathroom, a new blog post, another celebrity who will never want to meet me.
What was I angry about this morning when Giuliana sent out her innocent tweet to the world? Had someone belittled my feelings or downplayed my depression? Had I drove to work behind a car incapable of signalling? Had I got a nasty email complaining about my blog or a text from a friend to uninvolved to ever call? No. None of that happened. I got angry today because I wanted to. I felt like being angry. And being angry felt good. Maybe that’s wrong to say, maybe that’s something that will never sound right once it’s said out loud but sometimes just being pissed off just because you are human and can do WHATEVER YOU WANT feels like the right choice, bystanders be damned.
So I guess I owe Giuliana an apology.
At least my bathroom is clean.
*Maybe it’s a Canadian thing but I feel like I need to add in here that I actually adore Giuliana (even if I can never spell her name correctly) and her reality show is on my top three list of FAVOURITE REALITY PROGRAMS. And if you know how much I love my Housewives, you know that’s saying something.
WinnerS April 17, 2011
Posted by brandy in if you're shallow and you know it clap your hands!, let's not talk about how long this took, pretty hair makes me happier, you're skimming this one.comments closed
Alright. So first? Major credit to people who hold contests and know how to manage all the twitter entries, facebook entries and smoke signals people can send up in order to win. It took me roughly 32 minutes to figure out how to take a screenshot of the winner.
Let’s bask in this: 
Are you amazed as I am? Probably not, but still. My mom (who still calls it ‘the internets’) would be pleased. Congratulations Rachel! Secondly, I’m fairly confident that no one is reading this because people always stop reading after they realize that they didn’t win. Because that’s what I do.
HOWEVER!
I went on a bit of a Sephora spree and decided to give two more prizes to two other people. I KNOW. THIS IS WHY THE OWNER OF SEPHORA RIDES A UNICORN INTO HIS LAKE OF LIQUID GOLD AND WHY HE WEARS DIAMOND ENCRUSTED SWIMWEAR.
ANYWAY.
Winner #2:
Hurrah Sarah! And lastly,
Congrats Tara! Make sure you each email me your address so I can send your package of goodies!
Sidenote: I might still giggle when I type the word ‘package’.
Have a good week everyone!
Mascara and lipgloss and A CONTEST, oh my! April 12, 2011
Posted by brandy in beauty can get ugly, disappointment, I am worried about my TLC viewing consumption, if you're shallow and you know it clap your hands!, it's a long one (twss), lists, the world according to me, top 10.93 comments
By the time I was a teenager, I was fully immersed in a world of Clinque lipgloss and Tribe perfume. Thankfully, my mom realized I was hooked and took me to rehab an Estee Lauder expert who explained that lipliner should not be black and blush? Should not be seen as a fuchsia tiger stripe running across my face.
Thanks, mom.
(via)
The downside to this addiction is that I’m pretty much solely responsible for Sephora existing. I’ve at least paid for the owner’s yacht a few times over with my addiction to “mascara research”. So I’ve decided to put together my top 10 list of great products and 4 duds that aren’t worth the packaging they came in.
Ten Beauty Products That I Adore
1. Pantene Pro-V Triple Action Volume Mousse. I’ve tried everything and this works best for my hair. It’s not sticky or stiff and when I use it, I get nice, gorgeous “oh, my hair is so bouncy and big” volume rather than “HEY LOOK, I’M DOING MY SNOOKI IMPRESSION”. And really, that’s what’s important here.
2. Nars Orgasm Blush . I hate it when things live up to the hype. Because then I have join the bandwagon and admit that sometimes beauty editors know what they hell they are talking about. This is one of those cases. Because this stuff? Kicks ass. It’s the perfect hint of pink, with just a tint of soft rose in it. Like you just came in from a run, or you know- had the best orgasm of your life. And really, who doesn’t want to look like that just happened?
3. Voluminous Millions Lashes by L’Oreal.- Okay. Seriously. Somebody better read this post because it took me 12 minutes to find the actual link to the actual product. Who knew L’Oreal was owned by so many make up companies. And Diesel jeans? Sometimes I think there’s like three people who own everything and we are just puppets. But that’s another story for another day. Let’s talk serious mascara. I get it. People love Dior. But I’ve tried EVERY KIND of Dior mascara (honestly- I have the sad bank account to prove it) and none of them compared to this. And I do NOT get the obsession with the pink Maybelline tube. It does nothing for me except make my eyelashes look very .. spikey. This stuff is under $12 and I have yet to experience the traumatic ‘raccoon eyes’ situation. Plus, the first time I wore it, my mom asked me if I was wearing fake eyelashes because they looked so long. High fives!
4. Victoria’s Secret Beauty Rush Lipgloss- Lipgloss is my downfall. (And yes, I love that after 5 years of university, getting a degree and being placed in charge of shaping the youthful mind of the world, I say things like “Lipgloss is my downfall”). But it’s true. I live in Canada. Where it snows until April. No kidding, it snowed yesterday. I shook my fist at the sky and it stopped, but still. It snowed AT THE END OF MARCH. So, I get some dry lips, people. (How sexy am I right now?). ANYWAY. If I could buy lipgloss in bulk, I would do it. I’ve tried everything- dollar store, drugstore, department store gloss and while there are pros and cons to each- I keep going back to this one. It’s shiny but not obscene. A classy act rather than a tawdry ‘look at me!’ gloss. Plus it comes in a ton of great flavors and they are cheap enough that if I lose one, I’m not having to sell my kidney to replace it. (Close second is Burt’s Bees because when I put it on, I feel like my lips are going to heaven and I’m invited).
5. Lush Dark Angel Face Cleaner- I don’t use this daily but when I do? My skin feels incredibly soft and happy. It seems expensive when you buy it, but a little goes a long way. Plus I love that it’s black- it reminds me of the fancy facials you get at the spa made of ingredients that you can never quite find. I love Lush products so I’m going to sneak this product in too- for the BEST bubble baths ever.
6. Too Faced Shadow Insurance- I admit, I’m not someone who wears a lot of eyeshadow. My class doesn’t appreciate the artistic skill I put into making sure my brow bone is highlighted, so I usually just skip it. But on the days I want to be fancy, or on the nights when I actually do something other than wear sweatpants and watch TLC, this is required wearing. Just dab a bit on, smear it over your lid and leave it for 30 seconds. Then put your eyeshadow on as normal and go about your day. 12 hours later you will look in the mirror and see your shadow has NOT MOVED AN INCH. No smears, no fading, no scary impression of The Joker. Win!
7. Vaseline- Amazing. My elbows are Sahara dry due to this never ending winter. I just smear a bit on and presto! Soft elbows. I also use it instead of cuticle oil and as lip gloss when I can’t find one of my 29,304 lip glosses.
8. Kat Von D True Romance Eyeshadow Palette in True Love- The name of this product really shouldn’t be this long. In any case, I adore these colors. I got this as a gift and like I said- I’m not a huge eyeshadow wearer, but these colors hit the mark. Not sure if I would buy it on my own, I feel insanely loyal to Sandra Bullock (and yes, in my warped mind this means not buying Kat Von D products even though she lost her cat in a house fire), but for now? AWESOME!
9. Falling In Love perfume by Philosophy- Sephora describes this as “a lush combination sure to send any heart a flutter, this blend of vanilla, soft florals, and ripe berries goes on sweet and dries down sexy”. I was going to go with “when I put this on, I want to eat my arm”, but the Sephora review works too. When I wear it, people always compliment me on it and ask for the name. My only gripe with this product is the scent doesn’t really linger for a 12 hour work day and the rollerball applicator can leak when you travel. Yes, I know what you are thinking, #firstworldproblems .
10. Listerine Agent Cool Blue- This stuff is awesome. I floss regularly but pre-rinsing with this gives me the wakeup call I need to not just phone in brushing my teeth and really get in there. And yes, I’m aware that 98% of you have no idea what I mean when I say ‘phoning it in’ in regards to teeth brushing but that other 2%? Who read magazines or just go side to side for 20 seconds? This stuff is for you. Rinse your mouth before brushing to see where you need to pay extra attention. Besides, any product that has the name “agent” in it, is going to be awesome. Trust.
4 Disappointing Products That Made Me Sad
1. Tresemme Fresh Start Dry Shampoo- This stuff felt like spraying cleaning product in my hair. No bueno. When it comes to dry shampoo, I find powders do a better job absorbing. Sprays just end up making things messy. (THIS is better)
2. Philosophy bubble bath- The packaging is adorable and the in-store sniffs are divine but when you take these home and actually try to run a good bath with them, the bubbles fizz out pretty quickly and the scent doesn’t linger. If I’m paying $16 to smell like coconut, I WANT TO SMELL LIKE A DAMN COCONUT. Fail.
3. Benefit Hoola bronzer- I’ve bought this and although I enjoy it, I’ve found similar products at the drugstore for the fraction of the price. Rimmel makes a great bronzer for $7- Benefit is over $28. I actually struggle to find any Benefit product that I think is truly worth the money (minus their Badgal mascara which I’ve liked in the past). Maybe I’m missing something but this brand just seems highly overrated.
4. Brown Sugar Body Cream by Fresh- I like Fresh. I like the soft lemony sugary smell their products have. But after spending $23 on a lipgloss that essentially felt like vaseline in solid form, I sort of lowered my standards. I received the body cream as a gift and although I enjoy the scent, I don’t find it particularly AMAZING for the price. It doesn’t absorb any better than drugstore brands and it doesn’t squirt out diamonds or unicorns when I open the bottle so I’m not exactly sure how they justify the $35 price tag.
(via)
Tell me, what’s your favourite beauty product or what product do you think is overrated? Leave a comment with your answer and I will randomly draw one reader on Sunday night (April 17th) to win a few of my favourite products! (I’d tell you to tweet the contest for an extra entry but I have no freaking clue how to keep track of that so let’s stick to comments.)
Contest Closed! Winners will be announced soon!
“Okay, look. I know you got a crocodile in spelling but this has gone too far.” April 10, 2011
Posted by brandy in AHHHHHHHHHHH!, and then i laughed out loud, Blogroll, confession of the day, i wrote this just for the picture, I'm scared to see the search engine results to this, lists, oh look! i have opinions., quote of the day, who needs a self help book?.12 comments
(via)
1. I love the above image and the message it gives. Because seriously, who hasn’t been there? The second the choice is given to someone else, or you know a coin- you gain the clarity you need to realize what you wanted all along. High-five, Universe. And yes, that’s as deep as I’m going to get on Sunday morning.
2. Stomach bug + vacation time = FINALLY WATCHING “ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT”. I KNOW. I KNOW. It’s like, someone just introduced me to what humor is. I just finished the first season and am alternating between thinking I want to rush through the remaining episodes and chance dying of laughter or I want to ration each episode and savor it like a dessert I know I will never have again. I THINK THIS REQUIRES A COIN FLIP. Also? It’s abusive to be friends with someone and not force them to watch this if they haven’t seen it. It’s like, squandering genius. Unacceptable. So here’s your PSA – IF YOU HAVE NOT WATCHED ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT, GO NOW TO NETFLIX AND START A MAGICAL JOURNEY OF HAPPINESS WHICH WILL INCLUDE THE PHRASE ‘NEVERNUDE’.
3. A friend commented the other day that my posts seem to fluctuate between “HERE IS EVERY SINGLE THING HAPPENING RIGHT NOW IN MY WORLD, PLEASE WEIGH IN” and random lists. And? She’s 100% right. I’m still working everything out in my heart head, so please bear with me. In the meantime, thank and I have to give a shout out to Garnet and what she’s doing. Please donate if you can.
(Also, I’m going to be annoying and mention it again. Because it took me a long time to do. And anything that takes me a long time to do, I brag about forever. Like, in the 4th grade I started a paint-by-numbers picture and it took me months to do it. I still talk about how pretty that goose was. ANYWAY. I updated my ‘links’ page. Check it out!)
Battles April 3, 2011
Posted by brandy in i wrote this just for the picture, my passive aggressiveness is devastating, quote of the day, the title says it all, when i ask you to do things for me.37 comments
(via)
Overcoming first day back after vacation jitters, taming my wild hair, explaining what a galaxy is to 8 year olds, reminding myself that taking medication doesn’t mean I’m failing, declaring war on an ancient photocopier with a love of eating important documents, writing a speech to the bride that sums up 12 years of friendship, teaching 12 year olds how to solve for X and going through “Arrested Development” withdrawal.
Those are my current battles, what are yours?
(Also I updated my blogroll- check out my “links” tab! It’s still a work in progress but I’m excited to share it with you. And yes, it was inspired by this one.)
