“I still resent my mom for dressing up me and my twin sister in IDENTICAL clothes until we were in junior high. It was like a target on our backs saying ‘yes, please mock us’.” September 7, 2010

It’s The Secret Project time! I apologize for not posting sooner, I feel like August went by in a blink and September is just starting to give me time to breathe. (Related fact: One of my biggest pet peeves is when people talk about how busy they are. Like.. isn’t everyone busy? Anyway. I’m sure there’s a word for when you commit your own pet peeve. If not, there should be.)

Before I get on with today’s secrets, I have been so full of new favourite things that I felt like I should share some of them. Here they are!

1. Favourite book for people over 5 feet tall:  ”The Element” by  Ken Robinson. SO. GOOOD. (My two word review really makes me think that I should have a part time job in book reviews).

2. Favourite Drink: Kool-Aid. Sure, I loved this when I was a kid but I just recently re-discovered it and have re-fallen in love. I’m sticking with classic orange for now, but blue raspberry sounds equal parts delicious and sugary awful.

3.  Favourite book for people who believe in Santa Claus: “Thank you Mr. Falker”. Seriously. If you have not read it, just read it. Today. I read it to my grade 3 class and I may have got all wobbly voice on the last page. It makes you melty and thankful and grateful.

4.  Favourite beauty product: Dry shampoo. No kidding. It saves me massive amount of time in the morning and my hair is healthier, not washing it as often. ( I have Oscar Blandi and I adore it. And yes, I just used the word “adore” to describe ‘dry shampoo’). Also? Voluminous mascara by loreal. The mascara one isn’t a new favourite but as someone who has tried EVERY SINGLE MASCARA KNOWN TO MAN, I weep when I hear that people are still spending $34 on Dior when Voluminous is $8 and is roughly 3,434 times better.

5. Favourite comment made by a student in my class: “Teacher,  I’m having a big drink emergency and need a drink before my throat gets so dry I can’t talk”. With that kind of plea, how could I say no?

Secrets Time!

1. My brother in law is dying of cancer. I still blog about shallow things because it’s my way of coping but I feel so guilty every time I’m doing something superficial and fun. I hate how drawn out and painful this situation is for everyone and I don’t want anyone to suffer anymore. But then I realise that for everyone to stop suffering (including my brother in law) then the worst has to happen. I am so confused and just wish everything would get better somehow. Sometimes I’m scared I can’t be strong enough to support everyone through this

2.  I only realized I wasn’t a lesbian when I drunkly kissed the man of my dreams.

3.  My husband and I are at a stalemate that could ruin our marriage. We both want out of the townhouse I bought in 2004 and am underwater on. I want to get out legitimately, by paying off our debt to reduce our debt-to-income ratio (even if it takes another four years, he has more and makes less), then selling this house as a short sale & buying something new. He wants to me (as the homeowner) to forge a lease, saying someone else is living here, lie on our applications that we’re living with my parents for free, so that we can remove my current mortgage from our debt-to-income ratio. That is fraud, investigated by the FBI and punishable by 30 years in prison and a $350k fine. He says that my “high morals” about this situation are going to cost us tens of thousands of dollars, and is giving me the ultimate cold shoulder. I would rather divorce him, as much as I love him, than commit fraud like this, and if he does it on his own I will turn him in. He sees my integrity as a character flaw, which makes me question why I married him in the first place. We just passed our 9 month marriage anniversary and have been together for 5 years.

4.  My co-worker walks around barefoot and it makes me cringe so much I don’t know what to do. I’ve complained more than once already and dropped the words ‘fungal infection’ to her, but she doesn’t get the hint.

5. I tell people I am reading for school (I’m getting my masters) and that’s why I can’t come out. In truth? I’m watching Jersey Shore.

6. When my wife and I got married, we both really wanted kids. Three years and 3 miscarriages later- I’m ready and fully willing to accept a life without kids. The stress is just, overwhelming. She, however, is not ready to quit and it’s starting to become an obsession that’s ruining our marriage.

7. I want to be a better person, I’m just looking for a way.

8. I  live with two men (I’m a girl) and I routinely drink the last of the milk and put it back in the fridge. I also eat all the Oreos and put the empty bag back and will leave a chip bag in the pantry with exactly 3 chips in it. I always blame one of the roommates and the one I’m talking to always believes me. Since well, they are both slobs.

9.  Singing out loud is my biggest fear. Not in that it makes me nervous, but on road trips when someone puts a cd in and everyone starts singing? I just mouth the words. I’m terrified that people will comment on how bad my voice is. And even though I know, logically that my friends wouldn’t say anything even if it was, I just can’t bring  myself to it.

10. The best part of my day is laying on my couch, biting the bottom out of a drumstick ice cream cone and sucking all the vanilla ice cream out through the whole at the bottom of the cone. And yes, I’m happily married, have a great job- but this ice cream routine, makes me so giddy.