“I’m happy for the bride, but I want to murder her for making me wear this dress.” June 17, 2010
Posted by brandy in the secret project.trackback
My life feels so crammed full right now. Between booking tickets to HARRY POTTER WORLD IN JULY (are you coming? you should come. And pack your wand), and finishing report cards (stab. stab. stab.) and preparing to move to a new classroom (oh that’s right! I have a job for next year!), I’ve managed to buy 3 pairs of adorable shoes (gold flats? all the better to show off my tanned legs with, my dear), master making my favourite salad (cherry tomatoes? Let’s make out), discover and fall in love with Hell’s Kitchen and get myself sick. The kind of flu-bug that guarantees messy hair, headaches and sexy nighttime attire that consists of sweatpants and old t-shirts (go ahead, swoon).
That’s right people, I’m living the dream. And my love for brackets (and fragment sentences) is running wild. (I was going to make a Lindsay Lohan joke there but seriously, could that shit get any more sad? Man. I caught part of the Parent Trap re-make the other day on the tv and I just wanted to hug her. And tell her to never grow up. Or go blonde. Sigh. All child stars should listen to me.)
ANYWAY.
One more week of school, then I’m pledging my love back to the blog. Until then, it’s The Secret Project time. Also internet? Thank you so much for all the kind emails and comments on the previous post. They mean more to me than you know. And before I get all Lifetime movie sappy on you… let’s get on with reading some secrets!
1. A few months ago I sent in this: My freshman year of high school I had an almost relationship with a guy, we’d hold hands and talk and share secret glances and cute things like that, but being a freshman I tried to be cool so at a party one night I hooked up(not slutty, just a few kisses) a senior. The boy I’d been seeing I guess heard me talking about it but he never said anything and we kept acting the same way pretty much but then second semester he acted like nothing had happened. I see him everyday now and despite how long its been(I’m in my senior year now) I still have strong feelings for him and we still flirt, despite that fact that he has a new girlfriend with whom he is constantly breaking up with. I guess I just wish that we could have a chance at being together. I’ve wanted to blog about this but I just don’t know how, so I’m thankful for this. I want to tell him how I feel but I don’t know if I should, so for now I’ll just tell it as a secret.
I recently got a pretty tipsy at a party and ended up asking him about why him and his girlfriend are always breaking up, he poured out his guts and we’ve been texting ever since. He said that he would really miss me when we went off to different colleges in the fall. Then 4 days later he broke up with is girlfriend for good. I think because of me. And I’m actually really happy that he did, but I’m also nervous that despite there ultimate break-up we’ll never actually get our act together and well, get together. I’m also nervous that the only time I have the guts to confront him is when I’m drunk. Maybe I need to drink more often….
2. Sometimes I have to remind myself that I’m not any less married just because I don’t have a big diamond ring. I am so not the kind of girl to feel pressured about silly things like jewelry, but I feel self-conscious when I’m around girls with diamonds on their left ring finger.
3. I couldn’t wait to get the USPS Adopt a Shelter Pet stamps when they came out at the end of April. Now when I send letters the people I really like get the dog stamps and the people I’m not too fond of (or bills) get the cat stamps… unless they like cats, then they get cat stamps. I spite people with cat stamps… I’m not sure what type of person this makes me but I’m okay with it.
4. World Cup. I DON’T GET IT.
5. I know what i’m doing is considered cheating yet I don’t know how to stop. And, it’s not a cop out answer- i know it sounds like one. I just.. I really don’t know how to stop and I don’t know how to ask for help without people judging me.
6. When I’m feeling particularly depressed I go back and re-read the secret project posts. Knowing so many people are taking on and dealing with so many issues (99% of them more serious than mine) makes me feel better. Or at least not as alone. So I guess I want to say thank you to everyone who has ever submitted!!
7. I am really jealous of how many followers other bloggers have on twitter. I have a few hundred, but some random bloggers, who are great and funny but you know, aren’t like Dooce- have thousands. And after i’m done feeling jealous of them? I’m ashamed at myself for even caring!
8. I told him I didn’t want a baby. I do.
9. I only watch “Curb your enthusiasm” and quote it because I know guys like it. I really don’t love the show but quoting from it has landed me two dates with different guys and scored me a shitload of compliments. Why would I stop?!
10. I have a crush on a blogger. A serious… ‘think about you every single day, want to be with you every single night, get excited with every email they send’ sort of crush. It’s like I’m 12 years old again. But I feel, like I can’t talk to my irl friends about it because they still don’t really 100% understand blogging. So I’m keeping this one to myself when all I really want to do is tell everyone!
* Have a secret? Of course you do. Email it to me at brandyismagic(at) gmail.com
YOU HAVE A JOB! I am so happy for you, love. Beyond happy.
haha I love #3 except I’d be the opposite. I’d spite people with dog stamps unless they were doggy people. I’m such a cat person.
To the writer of secret #10: Go for it. Lord knows the rest of us bloggers can’t find anything cuter than two bloggers hooking up and being fabulous and making bloggy babies. [too far, okay, I'll slow down. I'm bad at this part of the relationship stages.] But if your IRL friends don’t support it as a legitimate crush, then are they really worth stressing over? You can’t help how you feel. And when it’s real, it’s real.
Okay, you can close the hallmark card now.
#2… thank you for reminding me that even though I don’t have a ring on my finger, our promise to marry each other is NOT less meaningful.
I AM SO JEALOUS. I would shave my eyebrows off to get to visit Harry Potter World.
To person #5, it’s okay to tell people. If there’s anything the last few weeks of my life have taught me, it’s that doing the wrong thing is HUMAN, and most people will accept it if they’re any form of decent. And if people can’t accept you, they don’t deserve you.
Hey #1… I realized the last day of my senior year of high school that I really liked a boy I’d been friends with for the past four years. And he liked me, too. But alas, we were going to school 800 miles away from each other. We didn’t want to do a crazy long-distance thing, so we just stayed in touch as friends.
Ten years (and a lot of mutual life experiance) later, I’m pretty happily married to that guy. You have time. XOXO
ash – i love these secret project posts. there are always some eye openers and some that are just plain silly. the one about dog vs cat stamps cracked me up. thanks!
Hey #1- Drinking more probably isn’t the answer. (Hopefully you were kidding?)
Hey #7- Depends on why you’re into blogging. Is it for the numbers and the boasting or the connections? I can guarantee you that those who have thousands of followers on Twitter don’t have deep connections with them!
#2 – There’s nothing that I hate more than photos of rings of married/engaged people. When they show me, I often think they’re really ugly. I’d rather have a ring pop.
#2 – I have a fairly flashy diamond ring, and it makes me feel embarassed because I feel like people are judging me because of it. It it a family heirloom that originally belong to my paternal grandmother, was passed along to my brother when she died, and was given back to my dad when my brother died. I feel connected to my family to wear it, but sad that people judge me by it. Anytime anyone asks about it I quickly tell them that it was my grandmother’s ring so they don’t think I’m some money-grubbing woman that made her husband buy her a flashy ring.
I am so with #4
#3 – I do this too! When I buy the holiday themed stamps for Christmas cards I use the stamps I like best for the people I like most, and the uglier stamps for the people I’m not as fond of. I always feel a little guilty about it, but I’m almost positive that no one notices.
Harry Potter, yes please! To #5 I totally understand, sometimes it’s possible to honestly care for two people at the same time, and impossible to know how to deal with the situation. Take a deep breath and be honest. It’s all you can do.
You have a HARRY POTTER WORLD in Canada??
Are you frikkin kidding me?!!
I have never been more sad and depressed to be born a Maldivian than I am now…We don’t have a Harry World…:(
*sniffle*
I wanted to write a message for the person wondering how they can stop cheating. There’s no judgment here – rarely is a relationship going along awesomely and then one person decides to cheat so understand it doesn’t make you a bad person. People usually become vulnerable when they’re not getting something they need.
There’s an awesome book on the subject called “When good people have affairs” – it talks about what leads up to an affair, how to pick a good mate (if you end up deciding who to stay with: one, the other or maybe neither), how to move forward and how to understand such complicated dynamics.
Most of all, give yourself a hug. You should know you’re not alone. Google some search terms on this subject and you’ll find lots of confessions in anonymous forums about the mixed emotions that come from being in a situation like yours. Hugs…
Congratulations on the job!
Ahhhh congrats on the job!!!
And #10 totally needs to spill. I love blogger romances!
yay job!
i also love blogger romances.
or any romances, for that matter.
LIKE THE TWILIGHT SAGA.
(hi my name is Tia and i have a problem. oh and also i saw Eclipse last night so i’m sure that’s a large contributor.)
DUDE – I have season tickets to Universal, and live here in Orlando. I would totally meet you at Harry Potter World! We could clink butterbeer glasses.