“I’m more nervous to attend Bloggers In Sin City than I was to attend my own wedding”. May 16, 2010
Posted by brandy in the secret project.27 comments
It’s The Secret Project Time!
The secrets are pouring in, ( email yours to brandyismagic [at] gmail dot com) and I’m working on being a better blogger. Though in my defense? I had to use some of my spare time to watch Avatar this weekend because I WAS THE LAST PERSON ON THE PLANET TO HAVE NOT WATCHED IT AND WAS TIRED OF THE “WHAT DO YOU MEAN, YOU HAVEN’T SEEN IT?” FACE I WAS CONSTANTLY GETTING FROM PEOPLE.
AND YES, CAPS ATTACK WAS NECESSARY THERE.
With that said, I have to say I enjoyed the movie. I think James Cameron is a pompous ass (anyone who says ‘give yourselves a pat on the back’ to the losers in his category when he’s up there accepting his 493,493 award of the night, just deserves to be punched in the junk), but he can tell a good tale. Although, I still rate “Bring It On” as high class cinema, so I might not be a great movie reviewer.
Anyway. Secrets. So. For the second time in the history of this little project, I had to reject a secret. I’m prrrrretty sure the person who wrote it will know exactly why it was rejected, but in case they don’t (and are reading this)- I apologize for not posting it. But you know, there are some things that the blog cannot support. Such as sharing that secret or supporting this outfit (maybe in 1994, not in 2010- sorry Gap). Maybe I’m on the slow fashion train right now, but jean overalls? Really? (Okay so I decided to see if I could find something that rivaled the overalls and took a swing by American Apparel. And shut the front door, WHEN DID THEY START MAKING SUCH AWFUL ITEMS? Case in point: THIS. I ask you readers, where the hell am I supposed to wear that number? I’m fairly confident the only place that would be acceptable to wear would be if your job involved shining a pole with your inner thighs 7 nights a week).
What’s this post about anymore? Oh yes, secrets!
1. I’m in love with my husband’s cousin. He loves me as well. Luckily, or unfortunately, or however you want to look at it, we love our significant others more than we love each other. I’m worried that I’ll spend the rest of my life loving him but not being willing to be with him.
2. i recently realized that i’ve never really been loved-even though i spent seven years with someone. it’s something i’ve cried myself to sleep over for months because i see him with someone else now and i can tell he really loves her.
3. I routinely steal basic office supplies (think post-its and pens) from my office. I didn’t think this was a MAJOR deal until I made a joke about it with friends over drinks and everyone got really quiet. I brushed it off as though I was joking but now I feel like a huge ass. I didn’t realize swiping pens was such a crime!
4. I’m trying to word this carefully, because I dont want it to come out bitchy. But I recently I’ve been reading more more tweets from girls who talk about how they are spending hundreds and hundreds of dollars on clothes and then in the next tweet they talk about how they can’t do something fun on the weekend because they are broke. I’m totally not a mathematician or an expert on logic, and I’m not saying this from an asshole place, but I just… don’t people see the relation between blowing a thousand dollars on summer dresses and suddenly not having money for weekend drinks??
5. I read the Secret Project posts every time you post them and the sad secrets make me so flipping sad. So I’m sharing a happy secret: my longtime boyfriend and I just got engaged! And I’m telling you guys first. YAY!
6. I dated a misogynistic, elitist theater geek and an alcoholic, abusive, unemployed lesbian. Now I’m dating a seemingly well-rounded, hilarious, stable software developer. I think I’m deliberately sabotaging this relationship by staying in contact with my exes and not talking to him about important stuff so if he turns into a jerk I won’t feel accountable. It makes me so sad and I don’t know how to stop. It hurts more being happy because I’m waiting for it to end.
7. I could live without friends or family. I’m not sure I could live without the internet.
8. 99.99% of the time I love that my wife makes more money than I do and I’m so proud of her success. But that other .01% of the time? I’m embarrassed that she provides more for our family than I do.
9. I know I shouldn’t miss you, but I do. Now I just read your blog and think every post is about me. It’s my coping mechanism.
10. My skin is so broken out right now, I still wake up 10 minutes before my boyfriend (every single day) to put on a bit of makeup. Tell me I’m not the only girl who does this. Or give me some awesome skin care recs?!
Rules To Live By Part II May 9, 2010
Posted by brandy in 1/2 funny 1/2 serious 100% important, advice, Annie Lebowitz is so jealous, family, i wrote this just for the picture, it makes sense to me, let's still be friends?, life lesson, lists, relationships, self improvement, the J.O.B., tip of the day, top 10, when I go all Dr. Phil on you, when i say it anyway, who needs a self help book?, who's the boss now?.35 comments
Originally done here
1. Life is too short to wait for other people to buy you flowers. Buy your own. (And stop fucking hating on *carnations.)
(photo by me)
2. If a student tells you he just ‘had a wet fart’ but after is walking around like a bow legged cowboy, send him down to the bathroom immediately.
3. Don’t trust people who don’t love “Party in the USA”.
4. If the kissing ain’t right, keep the legs tight.
5. Sometimes, the only thing that will be able to cure your sadness is McDonalds french fries. And on those days, no one will judge you from dumping out the bag after to look for bonus fries that fell to the bottom.
Mmmm… bonus fries.
6. You are more than the numbers on the scale, the dollars in your bank account, the list of contacts in your phone. The numbers in your life are not a definition of who you are. They are, just numbers in your life.
7. Never eat a banana in front of someone you don’t plan on having sex with.
8. When you go for lunch with your mom? Pick up the damn tab. You lived rent free in her womb for nine months. The least you can do is spring for her Cobb salad. Am I right or AM I RIGHT?
9. He’s your ex-boyfriend for a reason.
10. Cheating during drinking jenga is never worth the loss of dignity that you will face when you inevitably get caught. Because seriously? It’s JENGA!
* Yes, I know these are peonies (my favourite). But I have strong feelings about carnations and feel they are the underappreciated bloom of the flower community. Carnation Nation! Booyah!
