Every. Single. Day. April 20, 2010

I have updates. I also have a strong love for lists. Thankfully, I am able to bring these two together in what I vaguely remember calling a ‘post’. Booyah!

- It’s been been 10 days since H.A.D. came back. Ten. Days. Ten days since he decided that he wanted to come back and push “re-start” on everything and every single day since then I have woke up ridiculously grateful. Like, my mouth hurts from smiling kind of grateful. Not just for me, but for him. I believe that people need time to be alone, to sort through life when life hands you a big handful of “What the fuck?!”, but I have always believed (and always will believe) that people get better with people. It hasn’t been easy, and what’s coming next won’t be either- but I have faith that good things happen to good people and H.A.D. has earned some good karma.

- As for you dear readers? Thank you for reminding me that you were still here and for every single one of you who called or texted or emailed or bbm’ed or tweeted or sent me a telegraph (okay no one did the last one, but I was really on a roll). Cancer can be isolating, but when the person you love leaves, that kind of alone.. it’s hard to describe. And though I tried to figure it out on my own, each of you (in the close to 300 emails alone) managed to remind me that I wasn’t. Every single day I go through my inbox and re-read the words that have helped me so much. I recall the kind words said in phone calls, the thoughtful messages you all managed to squeeze in through the cracks of social media, despite me having closed comments. Every single day I’m in awe of each of you and how you have all been there not just for me, but for H.A.D. since cancer first roared into our lives.

- Every day I marvel at these shoes.
And how I’m a person who feels like I should share my footwear with the internet.

- I love twitter. And I hate twitter. Some people are addicted to chocolate. Some girls  love shoes or politics or car repair or googling pictures of shirtless vampire actors. I am addicted to twitter. Each day I consider quitting and then tell myself the likely hood of deleting my account is as likely as me getting rid of my zebra print shoes. (And the chances of that happening? Well. Let’s just say suggesting I get rid of them would result in us battling. TO THE DEATH).

- Each morning I wake up intent on morphing into the fashion goddess that is Michelle Obama. While brushing my teeth I check out things here, and become inspired to wear more belts and grow a foot and generally produce a an air awesomecoolgreatness. Instead I become disheartened because I don’t have the guts to spend $300 on a  J.Crew sweater when I spend my afternoons with plastercine and paint. These are the burdens I bear.

- Every day I wonder how each of you are doing. How the pregnancy is coming along, how the new job search is going. I want to see wedding photos and read about the break ups and squeal when I read that we share a love of the same show (MODERN FAMILY. IF YOU ARE NOT WATCHING IT, JUST… OKAY I DON’T HAVE A FOLLOW UP, JUST START WATCHING IT).  So I’m going to attempt to do the worlds best job of catching up on the universe.

Okay the bell just went and now I need to walk slowly to the front of the room so the children can admire my shoes.  Or just practice my slo-mo walk while they stare. I’m in charge with shaping the minds of the future. They might not know everything, but they will know good shoes. Have a good day universe. And universe? Thank you again for everything.