“If the photocopier is jammed, I’m the asshole who just walks away and waits for someone else to fix it. Every time” January 27, 2010
Posted by brandy in the secret project.trackback
It’s The Secret Project Day! Yes, I know. Secret Project day is usually Monday and then this past Monday I said I would post the new secrets on Tuesday but people? I started teaching a new unit in Science and it’s kicking my ass all over town.
The unit: Buildings and Materials.
The scene: Each day it’s me and 18 eight year olds. Building things like gumdrop bridges and chocolate skyscrapers (okay the first one is true, the second one is only a dream, oh but what a dream it is). Sounds fun, doesn’t? Add in 4 kids who have NO self control (as in, “*weeeeee I just colored marker all over my face and books and desk because I like drawing!” or ” **whooooooo I just went and farted in someone’s face while they worked because no one told me I couldn’t!” ) and … no wait, there’s nothing else. Just try to imagine building things with 18 kids. I don’t even need to add on to that. Now you know why my ass is getting kicked this week.
And yes, I just hijacked The Secret Project! post to complain about getting paid to build gumdrop bridges.
My diamond shoes are too tight as well.
Now on to the secrets!
1. I think my best friend is jealous of me. Her roommate, also a friend of mine, said something along those lines recently. She’s never said anything, but her actions indicate that there is definitely something wrong. I don’t have many girlfriends and I really love her, but the way she treats me is getting to be awfully hurtful. I don’t know how to bring it up with her to fix it.
2. I’m a good mom and a great wife. I drive my kids to karate and piano. I give as much as I can. But the one thing that I refuse to share? My ridiculous stash of root beer. I even label my cans. My husband has started calling me “the root beer nazi” and threatened to tell everyone. It doesn’t sound like it would be a big deal but when I catch one of the kids or my hubby drinking one of mine- I’m genuinely mad!
3. My husband keeps coming up with reasons to not start trying to get pregnant and I’m afraid we could be running out of time… I am afraid to push him because then he might end up resenting me, but I am even more afraid that if I don’t push him then I will end up resenting him.
4. My boyfriend thinks I’m really upset that the Jets didn’t make it to the Superbowl. I heard him talking on the phone to his friend and said it was really cute how dejected I looked. I don’t have the heart to tell him, I could have cared less about the Jets- I’m just said the etsy cowl I wanted to buy is no longer in stock. 
5. I’m embarrassed to admit how disappointed I was when I didn’t win a 20sb award.
6. I’m getting married this summer and my grandmother offered me her dress. This was a VERY BIG DEAL, so I couldn’t refuse. I just tried the dress on and it’s ugly as sin. It’s the complete opposite of what I would ever want. My mom says to just grin and bear it- it’s one day but I’m torn, I’d like to at least show SOME SKIN (like arms, or a hint of ankle) on my wedding day. I have no idea what I’m going to do.
7. I know the video was made for you and HAD, but every time I watch this, I can’t help but feel better- like it was made for every blogger ever going through a rough time. And as insane as it is to say this, I’m envious of your situation- you know how many people in the blogworld care about you. I wish I knew.
8. I love my best friends more than anything in the world. But every once in awhile they put me down, and while it may be off handed, or in a joking manner, I take it personally. Secretly though? I think they do it because they’re jealous of me.
9. I wake up every single day scared that I’m going to have nothing to blog about and lose the readership it’s taken me 5 years to build.
10. The only way I can get through meetings with my boss is thinking of how great the sex was I had on his desk with my boyfriend. (If you have never done this, YOU MUST).
Lastly, if you haven’t done it already- PLEASE go check out the new loveharder site. It is absolutely breathtaking. As in, when I first saw how lovely it looked- I MY BREATH WAS TAKEN AWAY. (Over $3,000 has been raised at this point- our new goal is $5,000. Please donate if you can). Also? If you haven’t already bought this shirt, what are you waiting for? I bought mine in blue. 100% of the proceeds go to Haiti, an area we all know needs our support right now. If there’s one thing I learned this week, every action counts. So take action.
* This actually happened today.
** This too. I weep for the future.
#3 is my life too. I don’t know what to do but keep pushing. We argue and fight about it and then have uneasy peace for awhile. I’m so ready and he’s not. It sucks. A lot.
#6: What about bringing it to a tailor and having it redesigned in a way? Ask your mom if you can maybe modernize it while keeping some of the elements traditional?
And Brandy? Your comment about eight year olds farting in each other’s faces automatically made me think of the character Puck in the Sisters Grimm books. If you get a chance, check it out. Your kids might like it too.
This is a great set of secrets. I haven’t stopped by to read them in a while, but am reminded of just how fun this series is. Thanks for keeping it going.
hey #7, it was made for you too. it was made for everyone that just needs a little hope. watch it again and know that i’m thinking of you.
#10. been there done that and highly recommend it. it’s freaking awesome.
brandy, holy heck does the love harder site look INCREDIBLE. i can’t wait until we knock that $5,000 goal out of the park and start shooting for 10k. just think… if everyone on 20sb donated just $1, we’d have it.
Great secrets. It’s interesting what people go through every day.
#7… I like to think that the love applies to each of us. That if we needed it, it’d be there. And if that ISN’T the truth, I don’t want to know.
That video will ALWAYS make me smile. Like, an unbelievably HUGE smile.
And to #2? HIGH FIVE!!! I would be exactly the same way with my root beer. That stuff is amazing.
#6 – Would your grandmother be offended if you had it drastically altered? You could have the sleeves removed and change the neckline but still use the same dress, and save the fabric that is removed to put in your veil or in a scrapbook or something. I think that’s a lovely way to use the tradition while making the dress your own and keeping the style fresh.
#6 I think you should redesign the dress also. If it will offend your grandmother too much, say it didn’t fit you properly and you NEED to get it altered.
Alternatively, if you want to be nasty and can think of nothing else, you could ‘accidently’ destroy it somehow.
(I can’t believe I just said that – I am so not a devious person….but last resort okay?)
1. reading this has made me realise the problem my friend has with me. i have no words of wisdom to share on the situation. but just know that you’re not alone.
No 6: Argh weddings. I will never get why people can’t understand that it’s not their day unless they’re the ones getting married. You’re supposed to be happy and comfortable on your day. You’re supposed to wear something that makes you feel good. I know it’s hard because you want to make everyone happy, but you need to be happy too. So if there’s no way to alter the dress to make you love it (not like it, LOVE it), speak up. Please? For me. I mean, be nice about it, but say something. Find a sympathetic relative if your mum’s not on your side, your best friend, your husband to be, but do try. I know it’s easy for me to say. And yes it’s just one day, but it is a big day. And you will have to look at pictures of yourself in that dress for some time afterward.
Short of that accidentally spill something on it or rip it. ‘Oh no, it fell in the shredder and I hit the on button’.
Good luck!
I love your secret lists! They show people’s happiness and fears all tangled up.
#5: You’re not the only one! I was also disappointed. Here’s to next year!
Brandy: I love the new love harder site. It is so very pretty!
Gum drop bridges sound hellish!
To #6 — don’t grin & bear it! It may be one day, but you’ll have the memories and photos for the rest of your life and you should look how you want to look. There has to be a compromise. Perhaps some slight alterations could be made?
I’d give anything to build gum drop bridges instead of doing the soul-sucking work I have to do for someone who is never pleased, no matter how hard I bust my ass.
The LoveHarder site is beautiful!
#6 – Yikes!! I vote you talk to your grandmother about taking the dress into tailor and using part of it to make a veil or a hair piece. It can be your “something old” or “something borrowed”. If she doesn’t agree, then I would say thanks but no thanks. Your grandmother had her day, and you can express how honoured you are, but this is your day and styles have changed, and you deserve to look how you want to look. The gesture is beautiful, but you should have your own dress, no questions asked.
#6 – I’ve thought about wearing my grandmother’s dress one day, but it would absolutely be altered to be updated and more reflective of my style. I wonder if you could make it more your own while still honoring that it was hers?
#6 – I’m with just about everyone else who’s commented here. Hopefully your grandmother will understand if you want to alter it, otherwise you should politely decline. Though it’s “just one day” it’s a pretty big freakin’ day. I would hate for you to resent wearing the dress.
#6? What about wearing two dresses? I don’t think that’s all that uncommon. Walk down the aisle in hers, but have your own dress for the reception. Easy excuse is that you wouldn’t want to ruin her dress (spilling food or drink, ripping it on the dance floor). You could even do the change part way through photos so that you have pictures of you in both. She gets to see you in her dress (possibly altered a bit?) and you get to have your own, too. Best of both worlds, no?
I love the new site and the fancy “Love Harder” branding! Stamps! Who even knew you could do that sort of thing? It is absolutely amazing to me how much and how far this effort to actually DO something about what is happening has gone. Kind of gives me hope about what is possible.
I hope that the HAD is doing okay and that you get to see him soon! xo
#6: I’m pretty much with everyone here: It’s your day. It’s a big deal, but you shouldn’t feel anything but elated and maybe a little anxious on your wedding day. (If my grndmother was still alive,) I’d talk to her and say that you were astounded that she gave you the dress, but you’d like to update it, or perhaps alter it so it’s both hers and yours. Sure, it’s one day, but in this case, it’s THE day. I don’t think she’ll be too offended if you tell her the truth. I think she’d be very disappointed if you didn’t have the guts to tell her and just did it behind her back (not that you would).
#8: Been there. The one lesson I learned is to ditch toxic friends. Even if it’s only once in awhile, they are your friends and they should NEVER be putting you down. If they disagree with a choice or decision you’ve made, they should tell you, but not by saying you are stupid. Friends are supposed to care about your feelings and those who care would never blatantly put you down. Honesty and cruelty are mutually exclusive.
So number 6 makes me think of The Proposal. I don’t really have any advice because in the movie Sanda Bullock was wearing the Grandma’s dress and she got it all tailored and it didn’t look super fabulous and it was a MOVIE and all, but still, tailoring is an option. As is talking with your Grandmother about it. Could you wear her wedding dress for part of the day? Or the rehearsal? Or anything? You don’t want to feel uncomfortable on your wedding day – I definitely suggest talking to her about it. Good luck!
Psss: Brandy. Start hijacking everything. Especially books. Like before any book goes to publication, just take it, scribble a little something in the front, and bam – what was good is now better.
My diamond shoes are too big. It sure does suck to be me. :p
Awwwww. I love the hell outta #7.
#2. Try Virgils Root Beer. Do it.
#5. I’m embarrassed that I was disappointed I didn’t get nominated. So silly, but I care for some reason!
Building gumdrop bridges with kids sounds fun and….challenging. But the part about the kid farting in the other kids face made me laugh.
Farting is funny.
#6… you could have the dress remade into what you would like just using her fabric and dress as a base. You want the pictures from your wedding day to be something positive for you to remember
The title one is soooo something I would do.
I feel sorry for the first one. Okay, so the friend can’t help being jealous maybe. But no need to make it obvious or take it out on the one they are jealous of. That just sucks.
And 8 is very similar. People shouldn’t put people down out of jealousy.
They should find someone they HATE and put THEM down instead.
That’s what I do.
#9 people will still follow even if you stop blogging for a while. I follow a blogger who hasn’t blogged in months and then all of a sudden there is a new post. I always look forward to it.
I love this idea. Even better than PostSecret because it’s a more intimate community.
Oh, and I was just envisioning your gumdrop building project. I so totally empathize with you. I used teach recorder to 30 5 year old kids. I think it took a couple years off of my life.
#5 wasn’t written by me, but I blushed when reading it as the same thoughts went through my head. So silly, but I’m glad for the people who did win.
#7 – Love you long time.
Seriously, e-mail my face (and the rest of me) and I’ll write you a poem. A good one.
Why am I so late commenting on this? GOD.
to the lady w/the wedding dress issue – I’d suggest taking it to a taylor to get “taken in” and then when the taylor “accidentally” fixes it for you — u can blame it on them and grandma can’t get mad.
ps: i totally meant tailor. ugh. my BRAIN IS DEFUNCT