No really, a perfect handful October 13, 2009
Posted by brandy in and now you might know everything, it seemed like a good idea at the time..., it's a long one (twss), it's almost like a meme, lists, so egan will LOVE this, the one that nobody reads because of the title, the title says it all, tomorrow will be better, wasting time, you're skimming this one.trackback
I got this sent to me in an email and it reminded me of the good ol’ days when I would dedicate all my free time to answering email surveys. I’m pretty sure I set some sort of record for answering them, I really loved filling out questions about my favourite type of ice cream or first boy I kissed (you think I’m kidding, but sadly I am not. My ego is so large it adored the attention). Anyway, I got this one sent to me ages ago and thought it would be fun to churn out. Regular blogging shall commence shortly. And remember, if you have a regular secret or a secret crush, email it to me at brandyismagic@gmail.com and it will be featured in an upcoming The Secret Project post.
1. I’ve come to realize that my chest-size. . . is a perfect handful. Let THAT simmer.
2. I’ve come to realize that my job. . . can be all consuming if I let it. (The 38 unanswered emails in my inbox are my proof).
3. I’ve come to realize that when I’m driving alone. . . I sound a little less off tune and a lot more like Fiona Apple.
4. I’ve come to realize that I need. . . a warmer fucking winter coat.
5. I’ve come to realize that I have lost. . . the urge to “look cool” in the winter and wear hip, thin coats. I do not care if I look like a marshmallow or the Michelin Man, or the Michelin Man after he ate the worlds biggest marshmallow, vanity is out the window for the next few months. I shall not be satisfied until I feel as though the inferno of Hell is wrapped around me. (Seriously though, coat suggestions?)
6. I’ve come to realize that I hate it when. . . I fall out of the loop with friends.
7. I’ve come to realize that if I’m drunk. . . a) I’m going to want you to be drunk with me- no matter the cost, b) tequila shots must be consumed c) I will want to listen to “Shoop” on repeat and d) if you aren’t at the party? I’m going to want to call you. To tell you that I love you, that I drank tequila and that you should listen to me sing all the words of “Shoop”.
8. I’ve come to realize that money. . . isn’t stressful when you have a regular paycheck.
9. I’ve come to realize that certain people. . . will disappoint you for being exactly the person you thought they were.
10. I’ve come to realize that I’ll always. . . forget #9.
11. I’ve come to realize that my sibling(s). . . will forever be a horrible gift giver. Seriously. For Christmas he gave my mom jars of jam. Not home made JAM … kraft strawberry jam. Riddle me that.
12. I’ve come to realize that my mom. . . is amazing for acting as though JAM was exactly what she wanted. She deserves an Oscar for that performance.
13. I’ve come to realize that cell phones. . . are essential. The end.
14. I’ve come to realize that when I woke up this morning. . . I was excited to go to work. I also realized how lucky that makes me.
15. I’ve come to realize that last night before I went to sleep. . . I should have taken off my mascara. Today I looked like Courtney Love on a bender. Not pretty friends, not pretty.
16. I’ve come to realize that right now I am thinking. . . I don’t want to see turkey for another 365 days.
17. I’ve come to realize that my dad. . . makes me sad. And I’ve also come to realize that there’s probably 800 other ways I could have answered this question but this one is the most honest and the first one that popped into my head. And the fact that THIS was the first one? Is even sadder, methinks.
18. I’ve come to realize that when I get on Facebook. . . I turn into a stage 5 stalker who gets inappropriately angry when she can’t see the photos of people she’s not friends with.
19. I’ve come to realize that today. . . kicked yesterday’s ass.
20. I’ve come to realize that tonight. . . I should have song the entire version of “happy birthday” on my friends voicemail.
21. I’ve come to realize that tomorrow. . . is my half day! Hooray! This means I teach only in the mornings, get paid for only being in the mornings but end up staying there all day to get all my work done! Hooray! On the plus side, at least when I’m beating the hell out of the photocopier and cursing it’s stubborn, electronic existence, I can do it without worrying about being late for class.
22. I’ve come to realize that I really want to. . . chop my hair.
23. I’ve come to realize that the some people… will always know how to make me swoon.
24. I’ve come to realize that life. . . (I hate this question so I’m not answering it. Seriously, I can answer all these other ones but this one reminds me of Forrest Gump. And I did not like that movie. I KNOW. I’M A FOOL).
25. I’ve come to realize that this weekend. . . is going to be nine thousand different shades of awesome. It’s one of my best buds birthdays and she’s rented a curling rink (that’s how we do it in Canada), complete with bartender. I’m going to wear some plaid, hurry hard and get ridiculously drunk.
26. I’ve realized the best music to listen to when I am upset. . . The Little Mermaid soundtrack. I dare you not crack a smile singing Sebastian’s part in “Kiss the Girl”.
27. I’ve come to realize that my friends. . . are awesome. Further proof needed? See # 25
28. I’ve come to realize that this year. . . has been one for the record books.
29. I’ve come to realize that my ex(s). . . and the memories of the things they did will forever make me giggle.
30. I’ve come to realize that maybe I should. . . share some of the ex stories, but I’m always afraid people might be reading this…
31. I’ve come to realize that I love. . . myself. (For further proof of this, please go back and read why I used to do email survey’s.)
32. I’ve come to realize that I don’t understand. . . Rush Limbaugh. Or the point of snow in OCTOBER.
33. I’ve come to realize my past. . . explains so much of my present.
34. I’ve come to realize that parties. . . are better when costumed. Or there’s tequila. OR THERE’S TEQUILA AND COSTUMES.
35. I’ve come to realize that I’m totally terrified. . . of not finding my speeding ticket and paying it in time. (Clearly, it’s a high priority when I’m whipping up this little doodle to share).
36. I’ve come to realize that my life. . . is far too amazing and complex to answer in one sentence. (hello perfect cop-out answer, nice to meet you. I’m your lazy friend brandy)
Curling?! Oh, I’m so jealous. Please send me a photo or two– it’s been too long!
Also, sha la la la la, don’t be shy; you know you wanna kiss de girl.
I’ve come to realize that you are incredible and I absolutely love your style and humor and perspective.
And I’m so interested in that handful.
I read #9 and was just like HOLY CRAP THAT IS PHRASED SO FREAKING PERFECTLY. And yes to #10 too. Le sigh.
Umm freaking AMEN to #9 and 10. Story of my life.
And I love the handful thing. Hilarious way to look at it.
P.S. I love your quote of the moment right now!
I love it! Some of these made me laugh out loud. I totally relate.
Number 26 is so true. I started smiling just thinking about Sebastien singing that song
Yeup…I agree on #18.
CAN’T YOU JUST LET ME STALK YOU DAMMIT!
Ok, end rant.
Hot damn, I’m with you on #11. For example, for my 25th birthday several years ago I received a Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen watch, two tea towels, an opened sponge, a half used bottle of hand cream (?!?!) and the DVD, Dude, Where’s My Car.
Sob.
I kind of love it that you can put the thoughts swirling around in my head onto paper (into word form) so perfectly (#9 hit the nail on the head). I’m also kind of jealous. I think you need to teach creative writing classes. I will be your first student.
I recommend looking into a good pea coat. They may look all hip or whatevs but a good one is realllly warm. I finally got a decent one last year (Old Navy) – it was really decently priced and is so! warm!
P.S. I used to loooovelovelove doing those surveys all the time, too! hah
Haha to #18 and #26. So true, so true.
Oh Brandy, those were the good old days, filling in surveys while chatting to possible pedophiles/other bored teens on MSN.
Snap with the good school day tomorrow- no yard duty AND release. Sharing the love!
Yay! I love getting a glimpse of you (well, the boob thing is more than I needed to know….but really, hey. Good for you. For Real!)
I love surveys. You always come up with good ones, can I steal this for later this week? *evil grin*
Anyhoo, I LOVE costume parties, dancing and tequila too. There’s this cocktail called tequila boom boom over here that I’m really fond of. It made me talk nonsense and walk a bit funny after just two glasses. One sometimes, if I haven’t eaten beforehand.
Ps. I know all the words to Kiss A Girl.
I may have to steal this idea (with total credit to you of course).
I’ve come to realize… I’m going to steal this for my own blog because I love these too and feel compelled to answer billion question surveys.
visit my site to see my answers
I have this one and it is so worth it:
http://www.cabelas.com/cabelas/en/templates/product/standard-item.jsp?_DARGS=/cabelas/en/common/catalog/item-link.jsp_A&_DAV=MainCatcat601085-cat602985&id=0070195971956a&navCount=1&podId=0070195971956&parentId=cat602985&masterpathid=&navAction=push&catalogCode=XK&rid=&parentType=index&indexId=cat601233&hasJS=true
are we talking SHAQ’s handful or like, Danny Devito’s handful?
Intelligent minds want to know.
I’ve come to realize that you, Brandy, must be a really fun drunk.
I’ve come to realize that Canadians are awesome. I mean drunk birthday curling- we definitely don’t do that in NYC.
I hear you about the snow in October. Seriously, what is this?
i want to go curling! and also steal this post. =)
Number 7… love it. That is all.
I used to LOVE doing those email surveys. We should totally start sending those around again.
Hahahahaha. The strawberry jam one had me in stitches, I was laughing so hard. As for 30? Doooooo it!
This is so well done! Any time you post a meme I want to do it. It’s a sickness!! Send help?
Remember the surveys with the questions “who’s most likely to fill this out next?” Yeah, my name was on ALL of my friends’. It may be narcissistic, but it’s always fun!
And #25 sounds so badass. Even if I did have to Google “curling.”
Coat suggestions: I just asked the beau for this one as an early Christmas present. http://www.landsend.com/pp/DownChaletLongCoat~148651_59.html?bcc=y&action=order_more&sku_0=::PVP&CM_MERCH=IDX_00007__0000001034&origin=index#
Number 22 – DO IT!!!
god i used to love these surveys. you’re bringing me back brandy.
I need a warmer coat too!
[...] a random trip to see my family. life happens, folks. they weren’t lying. BUT thankfully brandy had some good stuff brewing over on her side of the internets so, here we go. i mean, this should [...]
I love this… and now feel I know you MUCH better.
Spot on. Even down to The Little Mermaid.
Boo to falling out of the loop with friends, but yay to the Little Mermaid!
I loved this post, I also love ‘meme’s’ or whatever people call them… the more I write about myself the bigger my head gets!
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