Let’s just go right ahead and place the blame squarely on John Mayer December 4, 2008
Posted by brandy in I want to make Jim Halpert a mix tape, and now you might know everything, confession of the day, don't judge me based on my love for bad music, i can't believe i have a football tag, if you're shallow and you know it clap your hands!, love or something like it, men, pretty hair makes me happier, so egan will LOVE this, the one that nobody reads because of the title, what i found when i went looking, when i say it anyway.trackback
Tall. Short. Funny. Serious. Glasses. No glasses. Outgoing. Shy. Overly careful. Recklessly careless.
Lately I’ve been thinking about ‘types’. A type being a group of individuals who have all share the qualities you want, that you find attractive. Consider them your personal jackpot of goodness- of swoonworthiness. Through fate or chance or hard work, they meet the criteria that you’re instinctively attracted to. When you meet a person who has the qualities (superficial or otherwise) that you’ve deemed attractive, it’s a good feeling. When you find that person, the one who you save your best stories for, the one you want to take your clothes off with, it feels like you’ve won some sort of prize you didn’t know you wanted. A lottery perhaps.
The funny thing about types is that we often don’t think of them when we are meeting people. No one takes out a piece of paper and checks off everything that a person has that we want. We just look at them, we talk to them and we know. And it isn’t until later, when you wonder why one person has found a spot comfortably in your brain and despite your best attempts- you can’t shake them, that you run through everything you like about them and realize that they fit your Type.
My type is tall, with a good brain and a great head of hair. Someone who knows how to debate, who layers their clothes (this might be the superficial part), who makes me laugh. Someone who reads a lot, who is kind, who believes a thumb war is an acceptable way to settle a dispute. Pretty much Jim Halpert- minus the Pam complication. Of course, have I engaged in guys who didn’t meet this “list” and found myself attracted to them? Absolutely. And I’ve met guys who’ve had everything I wanted and they’ve turned out to be duds. But if you lined up ten guys in a row, my eyes would most likely go right to the guy with great hair, who is wearing a long sleeve shirt with a t-shirt over top and is talking about George W Bush’s latest flub.
It’s just how I’m wired.
Of course, some people say they don’t have a type and maybe they don’t. But for me? There’s always been common traits in the people I’ve liked. Besides what I’ve already said about being funny and layering clothes, they’ve also been far too sensitive, far too likely (at the end of the debate) to let me get my way.(They’ve also all been very… thrifty. Which? Is fun at first but wears off quickly. Like, before you can even say the words ‘coupon carrier‘). Which makes me think, maybe I need to branch out- date a strong, silent, bald guy who rides a motorcycle, refuses to shave on a regular basis and uses angry grunts to communicate his thoughts.
Or maybe not.
But it’s fun to think about isn’t?
What’s your type?
(And yes, I assume my brain will stop thinking of these things soon. I blame a lot of John Mayer – egan’s favourite- for causing my brain to be stuck only talking about crushes and types and love. I promise some football talk, an Obama cabinet update or at the very least a new Mallard story- very soon).
My type?
Taller than me by at least 3.5 inches.
Otherwise? They can be with beard or without. Brown, black or red-haired. Hairy chested or not. Tattooed & pierced..or not.
I am no good at picking. I like all of the above. Oh! And light eyes. i LOVE light eyes.
Wait.
I don’t think I answered the question.
My best friend would argue and tell you that I don’t have a type, but if I were to look at that same line-up of guys, I’d go to the one with shaggy hair, relaxed jeans, a t-shirt with something on it like Atticus or some retro color-combo polo shirt, and a pair of chucks on his feet. When I was in college, I was drawn to the skater-punk type… now I’m attracted to his 20-something wannabe-hipster brother. The term “wannabe” is crucial, ACTUAL hipsters are too snobbified for me.
So my type is the indie-music-listening, guitar-playing, hair-I-can-get-my-fingers-through, not-real-”pretty-boy” guy with a real, crass, open sense of humor who’s a softie on the inside.
Am I too picky?
um, date a bald guy? what? that doesn’t register.
im (mostly) kidding. you know my type because it’s pretty much dead on to yours. as you said, we first virtually cheersed when we realized we both dig a good HOH and the layering. sigh, the layering.
id day my type is somewhat artsy and eclectic. charismatic and can make me laugh my pants off (um, no pun intended), a kind core, good hair of course, man hands, taller, etc.
but generally? that can all get thrown out the window for the one that FITS, even if they dont match my type to a t.
say, not day.
Oh, and someone playful. I’m a quirkified nutjob sometimes, I need someone who gets – or at least can handle – that.
I was always attracted to my opposite–outgoing, energetic, the life of the party, center of attention. Big bonus points if he was a musician or artist. Must be able to hold intelligent conversations, but also be silly…I like to giggle. Must be interested in…something. If he didn’t have some hobby or passion, my interest fizzled quickly. As far as looks, after my high school sweetheart, every other guy I was into was a short, skinny guy who tanned up well or had darker skin.
My husband fits every single one of those traits.
ps- i think lily likes our type too.
My type….tall, dark haired, square jaw. I love a boy in a sweater. I tend to get all swoony over boys who seem shy and mysterious. A boy who reads books, can write a decent sentence, and who thinks Eddie Izzard is hilarious will rank highly on my scale. A boy who is nice to his mom, children, and wait staff make my insides bubbly. A boy who likes vegetables, kids and ice cream is imperative to my happiness. He must be able to make me laugh and let me cry and know when to do both. A mega-watt smile, a V-shaped back, and an Irish accent would suffice as the cherry to my mail-order man sundae.
Dear Brandy, sometimes my comments on your blog are better than my posts on mine. Love, Shaba.
I really don’t think I have a type. I like to THINK I do – tall, dark and handsome – but most of them don’t fit that mould. I’ve went from small, angry fair (balding) types to tall, rugby-player-built dudes with dark hair and eyes. I think that’s the beauty of it – I don’t KNOW who is coming next cos i have no specific type.
Oh and the very mention of John Mayer makes me cringe. My ex was a big fan of him. and the more I READ about JM, the more I’m convinced my ex is like him. Which is really why i think JM and JA are doomed to fail…
a.) Free Fallin’ was the song that started playing as this popped into my reader. I am so not kidding.
2.) I like a man who has his stuff together. He’s well dressed, driven, nice hair.
I’m also way into charming men. I always say that I don’t want a man who wants to rip my clothes off. I want a man who makes me want him to the point that I’m handing him my panties under the table at dinner because I can’t stand the idea of keeping my clothes on.
Perhaps that was a bit TMI, but it is Thursday!
x
I really REALLY don’t think I have a type. Black, white, asian, Latino, rocker, preppy, hippie, hip-hop, tall, short, long hair, shaved head… It really doesn’t matter to me at all. AT. ALL. Which I think is sometimes weird. But, I think I found a common denominator in men I think are attractive–a nice, square, manly jaw line. I don’t really like round/soft jaw lines very much.
i can tell you the sorts of guys that i used to date before – they were kind of geeky in the not socially acceptable way, way into video games, guys that didn’t apply themselves and felt no need to have to do that. they were guys that had mothers to mind them and mostly take care of them. guys that would not lift a finger to help me do a fucking thing. guys that i couldn’t count on, guys that said one thing and meant another. most of them had short names. they were all left handed.
and i’ve learned. and i’m moving on. i don’t know if i have a type really – i’ve been really attracted to sort of preppy guys that know how to dress themselves and smell nice – in other words, a mature guy. not OLD, just…wise? i’ve always looked for a guy that can make me laugh, that i can sort of joke around with and will joke around with me – but know where the line is. i want a guy with his shit together – i accept that everyone has baggage, but there comes a line. in other words, everything i thought i wanted before, i don’t want AT ALL now
I’ve been toying with writing a post like this myself. Maybe I’ll do it now!
My type: short (but not shorter than me), amazing smile, hair I can run my fingers through (but extra points for a slightly receding hairline), unconventional/non-traditional, sarcastic, socially awkward but loved by all, casual dresser. Brown hair and eyes. Cocky– just short of too much. Pretentious– just past too much. Kind beyond belief, but not friendly. Too smart for his own good.
Oh, and always a soccer player. Always. And kills at Scrabble. Always!
Uggh. Gonna have to think about that.
I’m married. We’re alike in some ways ( we’re both the youngest of 5 and have tempers). Opposite in others (I’m felix, he’s Oscar when it comes to being organized). He takes care of me but is not afraid to show his emotions and be taken care of. No tough guy act. He’s smart and makes me laugh. He has goals and dedicated to achieving the good life for us. He’s big on family and tradition. We just gel. I think our types change from day to day and we just want it all.
I seem to gravitate toward musicians. I can name five of them I’ve dated, and many more that I’ve lusted after.
I prefer tall guys, even though I’m 5′3″, and I prefer a little meat on the bones. Not overweight, just not rail thin. I don’t feel “protected” with skinny guys.
An excellent sense of humor is top on the list of necessary qualities. I like facial hair, and an HOH I can run my fingers through (just noticed Laurie wrote this, too. Hi Laurie!). And I like a man who likes to play with MY hair, too.
My type? My type is fluffy and dark haired and sweet and funny and sadly, often unemployed. I hate myself. Smack!
Wait, people don’t take out their check-lists when they meet people? But but but … I used to … and finally met *my* type … which probably is why I was almost 35 when I got married. Hmmmm…
Awesome. I’m all for blaming John Mayer. Dude is a tool.
Also, I’ve been quietly dating against type since The Break Up. The fact is, Kit, is my type. Very, very much. So now I’m open to trying out dating different types.
But I know no matter who I meet, what I really want is someone I’m attracted to (preferably tall with dark hair), who I can laugh with, and who knows stuff (i.e. confident, worldly, emotionally insightful). The laughing part is especially key these days. Smiles can go a long way, you know?
Tall, dark hair, glasses, makes me giggle uncontrollably. Feet firmly planted on the ground, no wild and crazy dreams of taking over the world. Willing to strap a snowboard onto his feet and chase me down a mountain.
But seriously. You’re Canadian, right? Why the obsession with American politics when there’s so much going on here these days?
I like the “rocker” type guys. But I usually wind up with the geeks.
I was JUST thinking about this last night as I watched the beau sleep (because I really am SUPER CREEPY). My type is and always has been tall and skinny, blue eyes, and just plain goofy. He has to not hate musicals (at the very least), he has to be a Democrat, and he has to believe in gender equality. Otherwise, well, don’t let the door hit you on the way out, dude.
..ummm…gainfully employed…seriously…
i know…i’m an incurable romantic…
I am with a man who is not what I would consider my type, so somewhere along the line I accidentally branched out and now I find myself checking out guys that are similar to the one I already have. BUTTTTTT… most the time I like the tall, lean, longer shaggier hair, someone with thier own style, not metro, guitar playing, art loving, smart, non bragging, hotties!
my type is the former geek-ish, book-ish type and funny-to-me as opposed to the hot statuesque guy. the one who is first and foremost my friend and who I feel comfortable around in sweats but who i still want to impress with tall boots.
I sort of figure that my type really hasn’t been working for me, so it’s good to branch out. But if you look at my pattern of dating, I’ve primarily dated guys who are tall, Republican, athletic, and whose moms stayed at home. At least that’s who has been asking me out.
I used to have such a type, or at least thought I did. Now, I don’t know. I mean, I wouldn’t necessarily turn down that type but I am a lot more open. I think I’m a lot more logical, too.
I sound so boring.
Funny, geeky, and shares a lot of viewpoints with me… Not because I can’t stand to be wrong, just because I’m rather stubborn.
I also get bored easily if the guy isn’t on the same wavelength as I am about topics. I can’t stand men who just don’t have an ounce of self awareness.
Looks wise? The classic: Tall, dark, handsome. :p
It’s no wonder we bald guys have complexes. I mean really. I can be witty, I have passions/hobbies, I layer my clothes and love sweaters (currently in one with a t-shirt and button-down), I can debate (although I’m not terribly competitive), and I make people around me laugh. But the hair thing. Get over it; it’s overrated. I’ll bet all you 20-somethings will marry guys who will lose their hair by the time they’re thirty, and then where will you be?
tall, but not too tall. muscle definition. shy. smart. quirky. charming. with kind eyes.
One of my best friends, whom I’ve known for exactly half my life, put it rather well when she said, after reminiscing about past crushes and commenting on WG, that I like “pale white guys with dark hair who play a musical instrument.”
I can add to that I like someone sarcastic, smart, confident (though not without the reality to back up said confidence), and yeah, a total, lovable, wonderful geek.
I have a hard time figuring out what my type is. It’s much easier coming up with what ISN’T my type.
Hmm….So, I guess that would mean that my type is…..Not An Idiot
My type is 5′10, dark hair, blue eyes and a square face/jaw. I can’t tell you how many guys I have dated that looked like this. I used to say Carson Daly was my ideal man, until Carson Daly dropped thirty pounds. But you could seriously line up photos of my ex boyfriends and it would look like a casting call.
I also go for writers but not artists, creative types but not hipsters. I’ve dated copywriters, screenwriters, TV news writers, commercial editors, marketing and PR people etc. I’ve never gone on a second date with a lawyer or banker.
Kind, good sense of humor, likes animals. Smart, humble enough. But hot. yeah, hot.
Wow. I think something is in the air because I was thinking about this earlier as well. (By the way, I just found your blog…)
My type? Looks like Jon Cusack. Usually has lighter eyes but always, always seems to have a round face. My mother gets a great deal of joy pointing this out. He is incredibly smart (lawyer, computer genius, etc… dated them all at least once) and usually has a little sister he adores. He calls me on my crap, is mellow, and enjoys a night out as much as a night in. Most importantly, he makes me laugh. Wait, maybe I should use this on my dating profile? Ha.
The question is not what my type is, but whether or not I’m the “type” anyone else is looking for.
I’ve got oily hair. So probably not.
I feel it’s best to blame John Mayer first and ask questions afterward.
Tall enough that I can wear 3″ heels and not be taller than him. Appreciative of my vast knowledge of pop culture. Meat eater. Makes me laugh, laugh, laugh. Likes dogs, but not the movie Must Love Dogs. When asked about the Zombie Apocalypse, has a plan.* Sings (even if he is bad). Dances (especially if he is bad). Snappy shoes.
But really: the laugh, laugh, laugh part supersedes pretty much all of that. That’s a dealbreaker.
*This is when I knew the date I was on tonight was the first and last…this guy hasn’t even considered the Zombie Apocalypse.
Musts: Clean cut (I can do a little scruff but I’m not into a lot going on), intelligent, hilarious, taller than I am (I’m short so it’s not usually an issue)
Pluses: Glasses, have a job or a degree or something, enjoy The Office.
I think my type is just “metro” but I wanted to write a longer comment than that
dark headed, funny, beer drinking, out doorsy, close to his family, makes me laugh for hours, can throw on clothes and still look awesome in whatever he wears, and lets me win. gives me chills just thinking about him he’s just so great.
I’m horrified that this is true, but I have dated many and twice married salesmen. But corporate sales types, not car types. Still appalling. That seems to be the only consistent thing. White, black, short, really tall, bald, red-headed, didn’t matter. Of course, since they’re in sales, all are Type A personalities. Apparently, it is burned into my subconscious that opposites attract as I am a Type B accountant.
I was just thinking about this the other day. Over my dating history, there’s hasn’t been much in common with the men except that they all decided that they like meeee. So I guess my type are guys who think I’m the bees knees?
But seriously, I’m all for the strong, lean, layered, HOH guy. Plus, he needs to be passionate about learning. Hence, the reason I still have crushes on my 4th grade teacher, my 11th grade English teacher, my lecturer in my postgraduate degree and Anderson Cooper.
Crap. Now I’m really going to have to think about this.
I would say…
Smart (in that clever/sharp way.)
Funny.
Willing to call me on shit.
Sweet.
Kind.
As for looks, I like “cute.” The specifics of that are pretty flexible and fluid.
But I am always a sucker for brunettes with pretty eyes.
John Mayer, now there’s a type I could go for. I feel like my types are pretty much all over the place, I’ve dated the jock, the stoner, the boy who I knew was oh so bad for me and would break my heart but he was just TOO cute I couldn’t say no. Then there’s my husband – he doesn’t fit any of those categories. He’s adorable, average height, a good hoh (well maybe that’s a lie – he’s loosing it but shhh don’t tell him I told you that!)he calls me on my crap -which is a lot, he’s hysterically funny, he cooks for me & cleans up afterwards (score) and he thinks I’m the greatest thing since sliced bread. Really, that’s the type I go for. If I could just get him to strap on a guitar, we’d be set.
Mr. Darcy.
Ooh, I have a type. Tall, big, athletic, a bit dorky, and hard working. The athlete thing really does it for me. Musicians are realllly not my gig.
But somehow, I fell in love with a man who is possibly slightly shorter than me and not an athlete. He’s also not very dorky or big.
I think we all have a type to a degree…I remember a psych study in school that said something along the lines of people choose to date the same type over and over out of comfort and familiarity…something about cues in your brain. Or something along those lines. I made a consious decision to date outside my type when I met Boyfriend though and he’s the best boyfriend I’ve ever had. Of course, that’s because my type before was “frat boy/just for fun/player”…so…yeah. I totally support your strong and silent quest someone who grunts? Maybe that’s not a required quality.
I’m not sure what my type is because I just got out of a 3.5 year relationship with someone I THOUGHT was my type…but he’s not. he was an asshole.
He has to be smart and motivated though, that’s for sure!
So I’m much better at knowing what I dont like, than do…such as : no to spencer pratt types, dead (sorry Izzie- i do have some scoop on that storyline that makes this ok…), dependent on alcohol for fun (princess pointful agrees on this), hippy, or out of shape…other than that…let’s debate! Tall, dark, athletic, good skin and teeth…smart…helps…shallow i know!
I used to think I didn’t have a type but it seems that I always go for dark hair and dark eyes and I’ve realized that I just don’t trust men with light eyes. most likely having to do with daddy issues …lol. great post.
Slender brunette with long hair. One who is not fond of religion.
I always go for the skinny, brunette class clown type. One who is smart but admits when they are wrong. One who is witty, confident, respectful and funny.
I love geeky type guys, they seem so much more interesting to me. I’m intrigued by their ambitions, their brains and the way they carry themselves. I don’t like guys that are into fashion, too girly for me. I had a care license plate frame that said, “Talk Nerdy To Me,” for the longest time. I like my Peter Parker. (Tobey Mcguire) from Spiderman. I just feel in love with his character in Spiderman. Dark hair and light eyes is a very appealing looking.
Granny is my type. The first night I was in her house she brought me a second beer before I even asked. I knew right then she was the one for me.
Hey, I came over to your blog from Your Ill-Fitting Overcoat, and I dig it.
My type:
In theory, I am open to Latinos and Native Americas, but honestly, I don’t generally feel even remotely attracted to a man who isn’t Black (my politics, I’m sure, but also on an instinctive, gut-attraction level). I went through a bizarre string of men from somewhere in Africa who were named after Roman Emporers and had dropped out of Catholic seminary, but I think I’m done with that. Tall men with longer natural hair (never dated a perm man) and a goatee/soul patch will get me, as will lean musculature. More than anything, though, a man who can keep up with the banter and who catches the excessive numbers of political/pop culture references, and who has similarly deeply entrenched political views will always win.
Oh, and he must know how to dance well.
My type. Hmm. My BFF once told me that she saw the strong, silent-type guys as my type and the kind of person, when he spoke up, would turn heads. And the strange thing is that guys like this really are my ‘type.’
They don’t necessarily have to be physically strong (I’m actually turned off by layers and layers of muscles), but they have to be intellectual. They have to be able to hold a conversation, deal with me and my family drama with ease, and appreciate the little things. I like my guy to be taller than me. And he has to have a good sense of humor.
And probably a lot of other things. My boy meets a lot of the requirements and that’s exciting/terrifying.
It appears the my “type” is stocky/husky, maybe with a little bit of chub, preferably a shaved head, witty, smart and independent. There have been other types but these qualities appear a lot.
My type could never really be pinned down in terms… but whenever I saw it, I just KNEW it. Rawr.
would your type be a reader of your blog??
My first, late husband and second husband are/were polar opposites in appearance. First: 5′10″, large-ish, good-natured, fun-loving, easy-going, life of the party. Second: Tall, slim, quiet, reserved (sometimes too reserved), speaks softly but carries a big stick kind of thing, very impatient, easily riled. But their common theme: Brains. Very smart guys. Keeps me interested. And funny (to me, at least). Oh, and persistent. Ha.
And I never really thought of either of them as my type. At all. So, what the hell do I know?
I am currently reevaluating EVERYTHING I thought I wanted in a man. Email me for more details, haha.
I am obligated under contract to say that my type is my wife!
hehehehe
ah…. tomorrow is the last day of the Drinks are on ME competition!!
Go on… leave your comment!!!
zya!
If I am out and about I always notice the same guys, tall, broad shoulders and BLONDE. They are always blonde. It’s like I subconsciously want to have me some Children of the Corn or something.
In reality though? My three major relationships have all been with guys with dark, dark hair and eyes. Weird.
And the only trait that I can use to link all of my previous relationships is humour – they could all make me laugh my ass off. I guess that’s a good “type” to have
Hey Nic, can i get Kit’s number???
Dark haired, my height, into politics, art, competitive, good sense of humor, into music and very sarcastic. That’s my checklist!
And I’m shallow, so I do tend to tick items off it when I meet boys. Terrible!
My type what those that like me, that is I didn’t really have a type. Until my wife, now she’s my type. Tall and brilliant.
An ex said he once almost bought me a shirt that read “I dig scrawny pale guys.” Throw in a brain and some sarcasm and there you have it.
The closest thing I can think of to my type is each one is the opposite of the last one.
The Duke is a quirky grad student with a great sense of humour and a willingness to go out of his comfort zone. He’s short and cute and scruffy. He’s super liberal.
The Ex before him was a blue collar athlete who never read a book beside Dean Koontz, like routines, and was way more conservative than him.
What the hell…?
[...] Bachelor#2 sounds like the one i should be choosing. Lord knows when Magical Brandy did a recent post asking people what their type was…my only input, while all the dreamer’s were discussing [...]