So as some of you may remember, my mother and I recently got into a debate about ‘who was beautiful‘. I was more of a Natalie Portman/Angelina Jolie fan and my mom was more of a fan of Pamela Anderson.

We’ve since continued the debate. But before I bring you the latest installment, let me just show you what sort of judgment my mom has.

This picture here:

that’s me on the first day of kindergarten. You can’t see it, but I’m actually wearing lace tights- to match my lace and yellow coat (also sadly, not featured). I went to school that day with a black patent purse filled with tinkerbell perfume and $50 in Monopoly money. Please note that even at the tender age of 5, I had already mastered a look of disgust. Please also notice the need for more lace (other than my coat and tights)- a piece of lace tied into my hair. Because as a child, I could never wear enough lace.

Which brings me to this photo:

I’ve posted it before, but bears showing again. This was considered a play outfit. If you look closely you can see that along with a lace hair ribbon and lace dress, I’m also wearing lace tights. If my mom could fashion a lunchbox out of lace, I’m pretty sure she would have. I don’t entirely blame her- it was the 80’s (at least that’s what I tell myself now).

Which brings me back to the current debate. I was feeling that I held the upper hand in this debate (using the above photos as evidence of my mom’s sometimes lack of good sense). If you recall the last talk, my mom was quick to scoff my choices and imply that Natalie Portman must be suffering some fatal disease since she’s not almost burnt to death from tanning beds but the other day she said something that ended the debate. It started out like this…

Me: Mom, it really bothers me that you consider Pamela Anderson the epitome of beauty. I mean….she’s just all fake. Besides, all mothers are supposed to think their daughters are the most beautiful and I look nothing like Pam. (And hook the line, because I’m officially searching for compliments from my mom)

Mom: I’m not falling for that (damn!), you know I think you are beautiful (score!). But can I ask you something? You love those commercials … what’s the name.. Dove? Yes, the Dove commercials that teach us that as long as someone is happy, they are beautiful. So, if Pamela Anderson is happy, isn’t she beautiful?

Silence as I attempt to outwit the person who brought me into the Earth (who usually outwits me)

Me: I guess.. it just feels wrong.

Mom: Because she’s not your idea of beautiful. But the thing to remember buttercup-is that just because she’s not your cup of tea doesn’t mean she’s not beautiful at all. I think that’s the whole point behind those soap commercials.

I could have kept arguing but it would have been hard since I did think my mom had a point. I realized as fast as she was to judge Natalie Portman, I even faster to judge Pamela Anderson. And that’s the trouble with beauty- we are so quick to determine if something is beautiful, so quick to judge it, to look at it- that we often forget to really see it. For what it is, regardless of what we what or don’t want it to be. What we do or don’t deem beautiful.

So I’ve learned that I may not list Pamela Anderson in my list of top ten beautiful women, but that doesn’t mean she isn’t beautiful to someone else. And in the words of someone smarter than me ” beauty comes in every shape and size, and sometimes color only found in a tanning booth”.

I’ll let you guess who said that.