Tang is the drink of thoroughly depressed champions!
July 29, 2008
Posted by brandy in AHHHHHHHHHHH!, Josh Lyman needs his own tag, are you there God? It's me- ripping off Judy Blume, disappointment, i like scotch & table dancing, is it weird this makes me cry?, it's okay- you can skim this one, men, oh dear, shoes, the george, what the hell.
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I’m going all cliche blogger on you and doing bullets.
(What a great way to start! I’m sure you all are hanging off the edge of your chair now that you know this post is in bullet form. I think I might even hear cheering from the cheap seats!)
- I hate men. No, that’s not true. My lovelies (George, Josh and John- men who my heart calls only by their first name) shouldn’t be lumped in with the scoundrels that repeatedly stomp on my heart. Or at least.. other vital organs that are less cliche. Perhaps my liver? Anyway… men. The scoundrels. I usually love and hate them in equal amounts, but after today I’m pretty sure the scale has tipped in the direction of hate.
- I have booked my trip. I have bought bathing suits. I have bought sunscreen. I’m excited. Or … right now I’m trying to be. Bloody hell. Only a man could ruin a vacation. I hate the way that I allow other people to chose how I’m going to feel. I was so excited about this trip and now I just want to go lay down and listen to the Mamma Mia! soundtrack and drink Tang.
- I saw Mamma Mia! and it’s fucking awesome. Meryl Streep should get handfuls of diamonds, buckets of rainbows and bricks of gold for her performance. And if she’s not your personal Jesus, Colin Firth takes his shirt off. That alone is worth the ticket.
- I bought a pair of gladiator sandals and everytime I wear them I want to say “At my signal, unleash hell” in my most Russel Crowe like voice. Which? Everyone loves to hear.
- I just found my travel journal from when I was in grade 10 and went to Disneyland. It’s hilarious. I found it extremely important to detail everything I ate (ex: “Tuesday, September 24th: One hamburger, grapes and a medium orange pop for lunch. It was great, the grapes were red.”) and everything I bought (ex. “Today I bought an awesome Calvin Klein grey sweatshirt. *It has the logo on the front so everyone will know where I bought it”). Did I write anything about going to Disneyland? Or Knott’s Berry Farm? Or ANYTHING? Nope. Because it was far more important to detail the color of grapes. The very last thing I wrote in it is “p.s. I saw a homeless man get hit by a car outside LAX”. Just one line. But I wax on and on about that bloody Calvin Klein sweatshirt for two paragraphs. The journal for my upcoming trip will be better. Lord knows it couldn’t be worse.
- If you want to have the BEST TIME EVER, go watch horse racing. And cheer loudly while drinking sugary coolers (hi Bacardi Breezers? Thanks for taking me back to highschool). And then take many, many pictures outside a pizza shop.
- Bathing suit shopping is less stressful if you have two martinis for lunch. I do not suggest it, I’m just saying it doesn’t hurt. Until like, 4pm and your brain feels like it’s been slapped by God himself.
- Scrabulous off of facebook? I did not need this to happen this week. Seriously. My whole life day is screwed up now.
* And yes. I know it’s shallow. What can you expect? It was my second week of HIGHSCHOOL and I thought labels made me cool. Now I know better. Now I know iphones are what makes you cool.
Congrats on booking your holiday and I love your version of bathers shopping. Maybe that’s what I needed the other day before I tore off the suit and stormed out of the shop…
I love this post because a) I love tang b) left one of my gladiator sandals in nyc and am craving a new pair c)love horse racing-such a good time and d) am soo sad that there is no more scrabulous
*) Tried to see Mama Mia with my mom last night but it was sold out so we got drunk instead…
*) I want to quote things from 300 too but it’s since I don’t have gladiator sandals, it’s usually just when I wear my leather panties. Er…um…nevermind.
*) Journal entry 32: OMG I saw a palm tree! It was green and beautiful and smelled like tropical heaven! I shall never forget that beautiful tree! PS. Homeless man is dead.
*) Horse racing is so much fun (with booze) but such a quick way to lose a lot of money…damn lousy horses…
Shh, I will tell you this and YOU ONLY. You can cheat on Scrabulous. It only took me about 50 losing games before I figured out when some sort-of-dumb friends kept winning with words like QUIXXXXIZ and I was trying to spell ‘leash’.
I hope Minx doesn’t see this post. He (she?) will rip you a new one for being so shallow. Blah.
Tang! I LOOOOVE tang. I’m sorry about your man-hate right now. I understand though. You are going to have a fabo time on your trip (and oh how I wish I could join you! when I got your email I immediately looked at my schedule for next week and tried to make it work)… bathingsuit shopping is never fun, but martinis are- so at least that helps, even a spec.
xo
Scrabulous off facebook, when did this happen? just one more thing that makes me hate facebook. And I love your “I hate men” comment, as I too – find myself uttering this word at least 10,000 times a day. Seriously sometimes, I almost wish I played for the other team. Oh and mama mia – loved it! Almost more than I loved SATC and that’s saying a lot. Have fun on your vacation and don’t let anyone ruin it for you. Who knows, you may meet a cute boy (or two, or three or four!)
Sorry about the men (man? boy?)…but yay oh yay on vacation!
And totally agree on horse racing! If there is another place where adults lose all self-control and completely abandon their normal reservations about screaming at the top of their lungs like idiots, I haven’t found it. Plus, horses are really pretty:-)
I read my childhood diary and can’t believe what a dork I was. I had a crew of imaginary friends, so at first I’m like “who the heck is that??” and the I remember and then I hang my head in weirdo shame.
I feel embarrassed for myself when I read my old blog from when I was 16-19ish. Which makes me wonder if I’ll feel embarrassed when I go back and read my current blog when I’m 30.
Also, I REALLY wanna see Mama Mia.
Congrats on picking a trip!!
Don’t you wish Meryl Streep was related to you somehow so you could just ooh and aah over her but not be some creepy stranger?
congrats on booking your vacay. going anywhere spectacular??
this bit?? “Because it was far more important to detail the color of grapes. The very last thing I wrote in it is “p.s. I saw a homeless man get hit by a car outside LAX”….made me SNORT. out loud. in my cube.
you rock!
What about David to your list of men? I thought for sure you would include him!
I have to work on the “man controlling my feelings” thing. In one of my recent posts I said I AM NOT GOING TO LET A MAN DICTATE MY HAPPINESS. I also have a no crying policy, which I ALMOST violated because I had a little too much to drink, but I tilted my head back and the tears welling up in my eyes DID. NOT. FALL.
Success!! Hang in there, honey. Turn your cell phone off and ENJOY YOUR VACATION. Sorry for all the caps. <3
It sounds like your doing lots of fun and exciting things so who cares about men. Enjoy life.
I was equally as upset about Scrabulous. RIP.
And, um, Colin Firth? Shirt off? My god, i’m going to see that film. It’s like a newer Pride and Prejudice lake scene!!
I went to camp the summer between 7th and 8th grade and the journal only consists of what I ate. And that I went on my first rollercoaster. But at least I had grilled cheese one Wednesday! Oh, younger versions of us writing journals….FAIL.
I know you’re joking about this whole scrabulous thing. Say it isn’t so!!!!!!
“I hate men. They are selfish, rude, stupid and what else? Oh yes, they don’t give a s**t about what I feel” is what a sister of mine said after her last break-up. Guess that doesn’t evolve much, uh?
So bummed to hear that you hate me for being a guy. Kind of a blow to the ego, ya know?
So where are you off to, or did I just not see that section of the post?
The star at the end of the post: so very funny, yet so very true! LOL
So, where did you decide to go?
I’m going to see Mamma Mia with a friend this Sunday. Can’t wait!
“Colin Firth takes his shirt off.” No sweeter words were ever spoken. Actually, “Colin Firth took my shirt off.” would sound pretty darn sweet, too.
Have a lovely trip, Lovely!
I saw Mama Mia, too. It was cute. We decided from here on out if anyone has a complaint to make about our wedding, they must break out in song. Hoping it’ll make the whiners think twice about lodging a complaint.
I heart you.
That is all.
Tang, eh? I might have guessed Tab or Fanta Strawberry, but Tang, not so much- not that there is anything wrong with Tang, THE drink of astronauts (does it cause UFO sitings?). What Abba song would you have been singing- I’m hoping Fernando, but given how much Scrabble arouses you (and beating other people at it), I’d go with the winner takes it all…:-)
i will be singing songs from Mamma Mia for at least the next two weeks, unabashedly.
Meryl Streep is a goddess.
I’m jealous about Mama Mia! I so want to see that!!! Gotta get on it stat.
iPhones do make you cool. Someday maybe I’ll be cool.
Also, I love the gladiator sandals.
Crap, there goes any chance of me ever being cool
Wait…so where are you going? I must have missed it. Going back to scan….But yeah that you planned it! Fun!
crap – now I need to go buy a damned i-phone to be cool. crap.
HA! The last line of this post made me el-oh-el.