Pamela Anderson vs. Natalie Portman (or the most obvious difference between my mother and myself) July 15, 2008
Posted by brandy in adventure, beauty can get ugly, blogs, brookem is awesome!, family, famous people make for good gossip, i am slowly going crazy, i might be addicted to tags, i think this would make her proud, if you're shallow and you know it clap your hands!, it's okay- you can skim this one, oh dear, people i like, this tag is for you Arm!, women.trackback
My mom is a hoot. I get told this a lot. She’s fun, she’s loud, she has the best shoe collection of anyone I know. We get told we look alike all the time, though I’m more likely to wear pearls and she’s more likely to wear leopard print. Many of my shopping expeditions with her involve being forced to try on something fringed, fur lined or gold and in my worst moments- all three at once.
Wait- you are picturing my mom looking like that old woman from “There’s Something About Mary” now aren’t you?
She’s not.
Really.
She’s far cooler than that. In fact, I can’t remember the last time I went for lunch with her when some hip, young 20 something didn’t stop by our table and ask my mom where she got her shoes, shirt, or earrings. She laughs and gives all the details while I sit across from her, readjusting my cardigan and wondering if I will have enough time to finish my knitting project before I meet my friends for dinner at 4pm.
I’ve always known that despite our similar appearances we were different. This discovery was nailed down in cement yesterday when this happened…
(While flipping through People magazine)
Mom: Isn’t Pamela Anderson just gorgeous?
Me: What? Gorgeous? Are you serious?
Mom: Absolutely! She’s stunning. She’s like a modern day Marilyn Monroe.
Me: Um.. no she’s not. At all. Mom, she’s entirely fake. Name three parts of her that are still natural.
Mom: Well, which celebrity do you is beautiful? (I only notice after how deftly my mom avoids answering my question)
Me: Angelina Jolie, cliche but true. She’s stunning. Or Jada Pinkett Smith. Oh, or Natalie Portman. I mean she’s pretty, almost like someone you would know but just a bit more… polished, you know?
Mom: NATALIE PORTMAN? (my mom convulses into laughter) Oh honey, no. Nice try, but no. She looks sick.
Me: She’s just not tanned within an inch of her life!
Mom: Well she’s no Pamela Anderson. (My mom says this like Natalie has somehow failed at life since she has not reached “Pamela levels” of beauty)
Me: No, your right- she’s not. I mean, Natalie is educated. She’s not a mother who does body shots in front of a camera. Natalie makes interesting movie choices, she seems really well adjusted to fame.
Mom: Well, Pamela makes interesting choices too.
Me: Mom, she went on a German talk show wearing a shirt and sequined panties.
Mom: She’s a free spirit. I can’t argue that.
Me: So who else makes your top list of beautiful people?
Mom: Well, Anna Nicole did have a beautiful phase…
Me: We need to stop this conversation right now before I start looking for adoption records.
Mom: Well, I think Pamela is stunning. And you really are going to sit there and tell me you don’t think Pamela Anderson isn’t beautiful?
(I fake my own death and lay on the ground until my mom steps over me and asks me if I’m ready to go for lunch.)
I mention this because tomorrow I’m going on a 5 day trip with my mom to visit my G-Pop. I’m fairly confident that if we continue our Natalie vs. Pamela debate, we will effectively severe all bonds that a mother and daughter share and I will come back an orphan.
Wish me luck and tell me- who do you think is beautiful?
*Also, one of my readers started her own blog! Check her out here.
*Alllllsssssoooo, THIS made me scream like an American girl seeing the Beatles for the first time. I’m such a sucker for a cute man with flo.
Has your mom SEEN a picture of Pamela Anderson without makeup? ACK! Makes me want to scream and run in the opposite direction!
And your descriptions of you and your mother remind me of that Goldie Hawn/Susan Sarandon movie… the one where they used to be groupies… The Banger Sisters, that’s it!
Gotta go the Natalie Portman route. There’s something about a beautiful girl with a smart head attached that’s incredibly enticing. Makes just having a conversation an aphrodisiac…
And, c’mon, I’m a geek! She was in Star Wars! So what if the films sucked? She was in freaking Star Wars! *grin*
oh man. natalie portman is my #1. i love her!
I’m with Angela- Pamela Anderson is horrible without make up! (And, for the record, not great WITH makeup either)
I’m going with Angelina Jolie- she’s so beautiful & have you seen Wanted? Her body was totally my gym motivation.
oh dear Brandy – I am SO SORRY about your mom! I mean, have her eyes always been that bad?
Obviously I side with you. Good luck on your trip.
Oh man…Natalie Portman FOR SURE! Pamela? Ick! What about Claire Danes? Another quiet, seemingly classy celeb.
Angela- I’m going to have to watch that movie.
geekhiker- Ha! I’m glad that you are a Portman fan. Actually, I can’t imagine you being an Anderson fan.
Raych- She’s pretty great I think too!
Sandy- I haven’t seen it, but I heard it wasn’t good. Is it?
tpgoddess0103- Thanks for your wishes!! I plan on spending a lot of time playing cards with the g-pop drinking vodka (the vodka thing is always his idea)
Elizabeth- I like Claire Danes in Little Women and Romeo and Juliet. I think I need to watch a more recent film of her… I have to see what she’s been in. But I agree- plus she seems very articulate too.
Definitely agree with you on Angelina. It hurts my eyes to look at her, she’s so beautiful. I also think Rachel McAdams is adorable and I can’t wait to see her in The Time Traveler’s Wife. Your mom sounds hilarious—her logic is totally entertaining.
Please post more G Pop stories when you return from your trip.
Your mom is really funny! I don’t think my mom doesn’t know either one -Pamela or Natalie-. The women I find beautiful are Monica Beluccia and Queen Rania, and for an American star… I guess Jennifer Aniston?
That was supposed to be Belucci, not Beluccia. OOPs!
Um…I’m with you all the way. Natalie is beautiful, Pamela…can look really lovely when she’s not covered in makeup and fake tan and is wearing clothes instead of just underwear.
It’s funny how the mother/daughter relationship works. My mum is way cooler than me.
Oh…I didn’t mean that to sound like you’re not cool, just in case it did…I’ll go away now.
Ugh. Pamela Anderson is foul – give me natural any day of the week.
And when did ‘not being tanned’ = ill?? Maybe being English taints my view but the pale english rose look does it for me, not the perma-tanned orange wrinkly look that looks like someone spent too long bathing in creosote….
Tell your mom to wear eye protection the next time she gazes at Pamela … I feel like one could contract an STD just by looking at her. I suppose Pamela has the makings of a pretty girl if she didn’t over-emphasize her pretty features. She just seems to try TOO hard at being pretty, whereas the actresses you named probably look the way they do 5 minutes after rolling out of bed.
Pamela Anderson is plastic and silicone and collagen, nothing real left on that woman. She is hideous! Natalie is style and class, elegance and sophistication. If Pamela is like Marilyn (in behavior maybe) then Natalie is like Audrey Hepburn.
Natalie all the way! But Angelina is HOT too – I just have problems with husband stealers and side with Jennifer Aniston in all that mess! LOL
How did I MISS that Jim Halpert link?!!?!
There isn’t a face he pulled that I wouldn’t want to have relations with. That video made my morning … thank you!
Whoa WHOA whoa…Pam? Anna Nicole? Is she joking? Please tell me she’s joking. No – wait, tell me she doesn’t try to look like these women. TELL ME THAT NOW.
Strip them all of makeup and they’re human. I’d go for neither.
Oh no. This reminds me of when my Granny said her favourite film was Pretty Woman. This, from a lady who grew up in the heyday of cinema greats: Greta Garbo, Ingrid Bergman… but no, Julia Roberts as an LA prostitute was top of her list. I would agree with Natalie, she’s a beautiful girl. And I think Kate Winslet and Rachel Weisz are the cream of the British crop.
Well but if you think about it Pamela Anderson is the fur-lined, gold, and fringed celebrity of today.
At least your Mom makes for an amusing story.
I can’t argue with Angelina. I think she may be evil, but you can’t deny that shes gorgeous. And along those lines, I think Jennifer Aniston is the most adorable human being alive. And I find Rachel McAdams to be the most beautiful person EVER (circa The Notebook and Red Eye, even though you can’t deny shes just as gorgeous with blonde hair as well).
Whoa.
Pamela Anderson WAS pretty. Key word there. About 20 years ago, pre-surgery, she was pretty. Now she’s just taken the Barbie doll lookalike thing way too far.
I think Ashley Judd is gorgeous. And Kate Beckinsale. I have such girl crushes on both of them.
Well Pam Anderson beats Anna Nicole…buuuuut Natalie Portman beats them all
Though, Lisa above is right…Ashley Judd and Kate Beckinsale are both gorgeous as well.
Your mom sounds like a riot. Pamela Anderson – yikes. I agree with Lisa, Pam was pretty pre-surgery – I’m sorry but too much of anything is never a good thing.
Of course I agree with you that Angelina is probably the most beautiful woman on the planet, but my favorite has to Charlize Theron. Smart, funny and holy moly those legs. She’s my girl crush for sure.
Catherine Zeta-Jones, Rachel McAdams, Naomi Watts, and yes, Natalie Portman.
Natalie Portman ALL THE WAY! No questions about it! I have a huge crush on her. She made it to the top of my “celebs I’d love to impregnate” list!
Do you really knit? I knew there was a reason I liked you!
Does your mom know that both Pamela and Anna Nichole were Playboy bunnies? I don’t really go for the over-bleached-blond thing, but maybe that’s our generation.
What about Jennifer Lopez? I think she’s hot, and she’s got a much more natural tan, beautiful curves, gorgeous hair….
“She’s no Pamela Anderson.”
Wow. Natalie Portman is and always will be more beautiful than Pamela Anderson. I am throwing up in my mouth. Your mother has made me physically ill.
Natalie Portman
Eva Mendes
Lauren Graham
Tina Fey
Gabrielle Union
Those are my Top 5 girl crushes on women who are truly beautiful.
Pam Anderson got hit in the face with an ugly stick.
You know the impression I get is that your mom is a hoot- like Mrs. Roper; funny, Free spirited, and intriguing clothing choices.
Angelina Jolie is definitely my choice for beauty. She’s my most favorite actress not only because she rocks in all her movies, including WANTED which kicked ass, but she also does things worthwhile in the world. She took the money she received from the baby pictures of her twins and gave all $11 million to charity. She is freakin awesome and beautiful!!!
Wow…thanks for the lilnk! that was awesome!
and, I agree with both you and your mom. I think Pamela Anderson is the epitome of beauty…if you want a plastic, fake barbie doll. Natalie Portman has a natural, girl next door kind of beauty. And, I think Angelina Jolie is stunning.
i love kate hudson… she looks great no matter where she is, what she’s doing. granted i wish she wasn’t so skinny, but i would say that about pretty much EVERYONE in hollywood!
Hahahaha. That’s hilarious. Your mom sounds like a blast, despite her bizarre definition of beauty…
This cracked me up. Good luck on your trip!
Haha.
For the record, I think Pamela Anderson looks gross. And I think that Natalie Portman is HIGHLY OVERRATED as an actor.
Anna Nicole DID have a beautiful phase. Even if it couldn’t last. Rachel Weisz, Naomi Watts, Kate Beckinsale, Catherine Zeta-Jones are all good calls. Plus Julianne Hough.
ps you’re in my post today. If you don’t like it, you can ask me to take it down. I will respectfully refuse.
I think Maggie Gyllenhaal is GORGEOUS. Also, I love your comparison of you and your mom–the thing about meeting your friends for dinner at 4 p.m. made me laugh out loud.
Your mom sounds hilarious! Tee hee…I love that she phrases Pamela Anderson’s madness as “interesting choices”!
Pamela Anderson is certainly *not* my cup of tea at all. Far too fake for me. And then she starts talking and you realize that she’s a dumb as a wall too. No thanks.
Now, Kate Beckinsale and Catherine Zeta-Jones on the other hand…
i can sorta relate…i have always said that my DAD is more hip than me!
And Pamela is skanky “hot” in a barbie-doll sort of way
My definition of beautiful is: Ashley Judd, Natalie P. (and I think they favor each other), Keira Knightley, Rachel McAdams, and Katharine McPhee (from American Idol a couple years ago)
Ok, we must hear the full chronicles of The Trip With Mom. This has the potential to be funnier than Pam and Natalie on Celebrity DeathMatch.
Eva Mendes, Catherine Zeta Jones, Brad Pitt, that guy from Lipstick Jungle….but not Pamela. I guess it’s good that your mom is able to see beauty in people/things the rest of us can’t?:)
Wow. Wow. Really??
I think Natalie Portman is stunning.
Also, ripping off Ally, Eva Mendes is a way better sex bomb than Pam Anderson.
That must have been an interesting argument. Pamela Anderson, indeed. Haha. Nope, she can never be in Natalie Portman’s league. or any other natural woman’s league. I agree with Katrin, Queen Rania is very beautiful. But American – I’d say Jennifer Connolly and Kate Beckinsale.
I think Pamela Anderson is beautiful in a really shake & bake kind of way. For natural beauties, I agree with you on Natalie and Angelina!! Your mom is hilarious! Good luck with your travels!
Haha! Your mom sounds hilarious! And this argument the two of you are having reminds me of the time one of the older ladies at work said that Paris Hilton seemed like a good role model (and she was serious about that statement).
I have to agree with you, however. Natalie is MUCH better in so many ways than Pamela. As for my girl crush? Salma Hayek. So gorgeous.
It sounds like your mom should have a blog. Think about how awesome that would be. And I agree with you, because Pam An does not do it for me. I think I actually shudder when I think about her.
Have a great time with G-pop and the visit!!!
Natalie = way better btw.
Oh my gah…Pamela is trailor trash! Like, if she hadn’t gotten rich off millions of horny-ass men, she would be working at Wal-Mart and parying that her sub-par insurance will cover her tooth replacement operation. Yes, I’m that mean.
Your mom is really is a hoot!
And I agree about Natalie Portman…she’s gorgeous in such a real way that it makes you want to be her friend.
On a different note, I LOVED your post about your mom (#3). I feel the same way about my mom. Sometimes I worry that I take her for granted, because I’ve always had her in my life. When I try to find a way to explain the type of person she is, though, I have to fight off the tears because there really are no words. Thanks for this reminder…
I’m with you on Natalie Portman. Your mom sounds like a trip and so much fun. Have a great time on your trip.
Oh my goodness! I don’t know anybody who calls Pam And beautiful (some people who are into weird things MIGHT call her sexy, or erotically hot, but not beautiful).
I’m with you on Angie and Natalie, but I’ll also add Kate Hudson to the list.
Lyv Tyler and Keira Knightley probably. Otherwise, no, Anderson and Smith are not uh…, real enough.
I LOVE Jim Halpert! Oh, and Natalie Portman totally wins.
haha, your mom is a freakin hoot. im a natalie fan all the way. also really dig eva mendez (sp?), charlize, and jessica biel.
i LOVE that youtube video!
Yikes, Pamela Anderson? Really? I totally agree with you about Angelina Jolie and Natalie Portman. Like Natalie Portman, I too have embraced my paleness. It is actually kind of liberating. Oh and I love that video.
natalie is beautiful I agree … i use to be a fan of pamela during baywatch days but now she is just dirty.
your mom sounds like she would love the tabloid crap which mean I would probably adore her LOL
lol your mom IS a hoot
I definitely disagree with her though..I do not find Pam Anderson attractive…sure, she had her day way back when but now..no thanks!
Angelina Jolie on the other hand..
How hilarious is that! I disagree with her too though…Natalie Portman is beautiful and Pamela Anderson…Yuck!
I so understand the mother/daughter difference thing… my mom can flirt like nobodys business and I don’t have a flirting bone in my body. She’s amazed at how un-flirty (shy??) I am.
Oh and I’m so with you on Natalie… but I love the skinny look over fake boobs anyday.
Oh my gosh. You are seriously a peach. Have I told you this lately? Or ever? Oh, hi. I’m Kerri and I’ve been lurking your blog for a while now. I don’t think I’ve properly introduced myself. Or, have I? I have the tendency to forget things.
Nice to meet you, anyway.
This story seriously made my morning! Too funny.
P.S. You’re on my blogroll. Exciting, right?
Pamela Anderson the modern day Marilyn Monroe?……hmmmmm
There’s something to think about.
you and your mom would make the best dinner guests ever. hilarious! and i’m definitely with you on this one!
Natalie Portman is like the modern day Audrey Hepburn, I love her.
Lol!
This post made me laugh. LOTS.
I am def on your side for this one… have to say your mom sounds awesome! (especially because of the shoe collection…)
Have a great trip!
Hm….actually, I do think pamela anderson is pretty. NOT MY TYPE. but shes pretty, Natalie portman though, is STUNNING.
[...] people i like, pretty hair makes me happier, women. trackback So as some of you may remember, my mother and I recently got into a debate about ‘who was beautiful‘. I was more of a Natalie Portman/Angelina Jolie fan and my mom was more of a fan of Pamela [...]
I love you pamela
Pamela Anderson is clearly more attractive in my opionon; she’s much more sexy. And pictures of her young, with not a lot of make-up show that she is naturally beautiful. Natalie Portman is far too plain! And not the modern day Audrey Hepburn, I love Audrey!
While I don’t disagree with her being the modern day Monroe, I see more resembelance with Bridget Bardot, who was truly stunning.
I also think you forget that Anderson is a lot older than all these others you are naming.
And I also think it probably has something to do with the way you look – I’m blonde and naturally big breasted, and I find those types of women far more attractive/interesting to look at as opposed to the pretty, but not so “stand out” pale brunettes. The only brunette I’d say was totally gorgeous is Angelina, but that’s because of the big lips, which seem to tie in with the whole “sexy blonde, big breasted” type of look.
And just for the record, while I resemble that type of female, I’m all natural (apart from the hair) and frequently go out without make-up. I’m certainly not cheap looking, I just prefer the “sexy” kind of look.
[...] goddess, half Mother Teresa alllll while speaking to a billion people live?), Natalie Portman (who I adore) needs to eat some food and I am that ONE person on the planet who liked Miley Cyrus’s dress. [...]
Pammy is a bit nasty.
señorita entiendo que la mama guia bien apiachere ecuanto a señorina rebende io por eso problem no me querer mas entiende. libertad.saludo al señor y señora todo mi umilde respeto..ezequiel