Confessions & Apologizes from the shirtless June 12, 2008
Posted by brandy in Annie Lebowitz is so jealous, and now you might know everything, because "guilt" is a dirty word, because I can't do report cards 24/7, confession of the day, find the dorkiest sentence in this, help, i hate it when i blog about blogging, i know too much about magnets, i may write about the west wing forever, if you're shallow and you know it clap your hands!, lists, men, people i like, pirates, proof i attract crazy, the J.O.B., the george, when i say it anyway.trackback
So, I have to mention this because it’s going to bother me if I don’t. And when things bother me and I don’t say anything, I turn about 8 shades of crazy all of which involve binging on popcorn and tequila and writing copious amounts of horrible poetry into my journal (sidenote: Why do I only ever write in my journal when I’m unhappy? I swear, if my grandkids are screwed out of love letters- they should at least get a journal that has SOME happy thoughts rather than hundreds of pages filled with angst and pathetic ‘why me?’ statements from someone who cites the cancellation of “The West Wing” as one of the biggest disappointments of her life).
Moving on. Or, getting back on course…. as some of you know I’m a member of Twentysomething Bloggers. A fantastic site dedicated for (surprise!) bloggers in their 20’s. It’s a great place to debate, learn and find new blogs to read. A few days ago I started reading a forum about comments and who responds to them and why. Many of people said that they responded to comments, it being the least they could do. Some said they emailed back. Some said they visited the persons site and left a comment there. I read the comments and felt like a jerk.
Why?
Because (as you can tell), I’ve started to suck at commenting back on comments. I wish I could say that I’m commenting skillz have fallen by the wayside because I’m in love, or lust, or drunk with the power that comes with teaching grade 2 children the difference a sphere and circle. But the truth? I’m just busy. And that’s the lamest answer in the book, but I’ve found that often the honest answers are. It’s the fantastical lies that are always the most interesting.
So, I was feeling bad about the commenting thing today. Which is silly, but it’s true. And then while, sitting at my desk, wading quickly into the darkest parts of google reader, I glanced up at my “to-do” list that I started on Monday (so, you know- I would be motivated for the week) and thought if I showed it, maybe it might in some small way justify my lack of prompt commenting. Please note that I’ve yet to cross anything off my list (I’ve been too busy).
And for the scary close up:
#7 is something you might be able to help me with. I’m an MC at a friends wedding, and the bride has given me no direction other than ‘be funny’. Suggestions that don’t involve me showing the entire wedding my favourite Office episodes?
And as for the scared face that is after #12? Yeah. That is because the doctor who is filling in for my regular doctor is a bit of a nut and I might be scared of her. I saw her once already, and before she would refill my birth control prescription, she asked me questions like “do you ride quads?” and “do you eat peanut butter?” and then, (because asking if I ride 4 wheelers wasn’t strange enough), did my complete physical without my shirt on. I’m talking, even taking my blood pressure. Checking my eyesight- no shirt. Checking my reflexes- no shirt. Weird?
The point of all of that (minus the tangent about the doctor who made me feel all awkward- seriously? how do you act cool without a shirt when a stranger is strangling your arm with the blood pressure torture device?) was to say that if you feel like I short change you, or don’t care enough to reply to a comment, if I don’t reply as often as I did- or as often as other people, I’m sorry. I appreciate each one. Really. That felt silly just to type but I’ll sleep better having said it, so I suppose it’s worth the silly feeling. Also, I will be unemployed in a few short weeks and am pretty sure I will be back to full commenting and stalking all of you. You have been warned.
Now I’ve got a call my doctors office. I must confess, if my doctor looked like this:
I wouldn’t be canceling my appointments. I suspect his hands are quite warm. Perfect for check-ups.
Swoon.
I love that your list is propped up on a book called “there are no shortcuts”.
Brilliant.
i love how you have your to-do list on CHART PAPER. haha you’re such a teacher!
Pirate marking?
you don’t want your doctor to look like my boyfriend, trust me – my first “lady doctor” ( honestly can’t spell the correcy word), and I only went to him because he was my mother’s doctor, was seriously HANDSOME. I couldn’t go and had to switch
same thing with a hot dentist
You are a total crack-up. I’ll take new posts over response comments any day.
Don’t worry about not replying to people. Oh and the diary entry thing – I started forcing myself to write on happy days because I was worried about my grandchildren thinking the same thing.
I have the same question as cdp. Pirate marking sounds very interesting…
Liar – you’re totally drunk on your power of being able to teach about spheres. I’ve known teachers, I know how it is.
No worries about the commenting. Heck, the only reason I’m able to reply on my blog is that I have so few readers!
Pirate marking?
And, hey, whatdda know, I look just like your dream doctor. Amazing coincidence, that…
I just started reading your blog but I seriously love it. I agree with the others not to worry too much about commenting. I’m self-conscious due to commenting too much (unemployed…sigh…) so I guess there are both ends of the spectrum. Good luck finishing your to-do list and try to write a few happy entries for the grandkids
George Clooney is free to perform a shirtless physical exam on me any day of the week. Preferably with him shirtless, but I’m flexible.
Don’t stress about the comments, girl. There are FAR more important things in life.
And I feel you on the To Do List thing – mine has about 30 items that NEED to get done this weekend. Ack!
I guess I always figured that you just did the same as me and nodded instead of actually typing!!!
As for the MC gig, I think the best ones I’ve encountered had the great knack of only ever speaking for 3-5mins at a time before warmly introducing the key speakers. You only really need 3 funny things, maybe get a story about when the groom and bride were little and funny things they said, or quiz the happy couple separtely before the day and present their answers little by little. I’m sure you’ll come up with some brilliant ideas…
I hardly ever comment back on comments. And I don’t feel bad about it. Should I?
You shouldn’t for sure, and I love your to-do list. I gave up on those a long while ago.
Hey Brandy – for someone who gets 40+ comments on a regular basis, it’s ridiculous to expect you to return comments for everyone of them… or even a select few. Gheesh, what are these people thinking?
Come and say hi when you get the chance… leave a comment if you want to. It’s hardly the same if it becomes an obligation.
I rarely respond to comments left unless it’s in response to a specific question, but I try to make a point to get through my 107 subscriptions and comment once or twice a week. But then again, I amjust sitting here in the vineyards with little else to do. Yeah, it’s a great life.
But I agree whole-heartedly with Jacinta–do as you want, because it doesn’t mean the same if it’s an obligation.
Haha 20SB is good isn’t it
Don’t feel bad, I don’t comment back to comments most of the time but I do go visit their blogs when they do comment!
And yeah, there is one doctor at my surgery that I wouldn’t cancel appointments for either!
Hi Girl! I was just wondering what commenters like best, when I comment in the comment section, or personal emails. I kinda like getting the personal emails myself and would love to send each of my commenters a personal email but when I have things like Pirate Markings on my list, I am not always able to do so. Oh wait, your list is the one with Pirate Markings. What the yo-ho-ho does that mean?
It’s totally weird to do the entire exam shirtless. I would refuse.
You know what? I went to my doctor a couple of weeks ago due to this cold (just my general practictioner) and the nurse had me take my shirt off, too. I mean, I had one of those robe thingies, but still. Shirt and Bra…why? My doctor has never needed me to take my shirt off for stuff like this. In fact, I’m starting to wonder if even he was confused as to why I was in the robe thing. Seriously – whack ass.
As for #14…explanation? I love all things pirate, so I’m intrigued.
Don’t worry about the comments – we’ll just never comment again that’s all…. joke!!
Ok but seriously for the MC gig, the easiest form of joke has to be Insert Any Childhood Anecdote about your friend, like once she wet her pants and fell backwards off the seesaw or something, but whatever the anecdote, you finish it with: She was 24 at the time.
Good luck!
Are you sure that secondary doctor is a doctor and not an escapist from the loony ward? I think your health will be just fine if you postpone until the non-crazy physician is available.
As for lists, make a gigantic one so you don’t forget anything and then daily make a small one that has only three things on it. THREE. Because three is much more manageable than 23. I swear. The extra step will help. And you’ll feel accomplished instead of flailing in an ominous sea of unaccomplishment.
Lastly, fuck responding to our comments. I mean, it’s nice when the author acknowledges the readership but I personally think the post is a comment enough. Plus, it’s a blog, not a conversation. Whatever you do, just keep writing your rambling. It makes me smile!!!
DUDE! I worry about the commenting back thing too.. but the fact of the matter is that I VERY rarely go back to see what the blogger has said in response to my comment.
I mean.
Very rarely.
SO.. if I don’t go back to check on what they said, then I feel like there’s a good chance my readers aren’t triple checking my comment space to see what I might’ve responded with either.
Long story short, I do comment back on occasion but not always. I’m more prone to emailing people back if they’ve said something substantial than anything else.
i think you and i have talked about the comment thing before, right? (what haven’t we talked about?)…. anyway- your to-do list is pretty jammed packed (i like your handwriting, i meant to tell you that another time but forgot- i wish they made it in a font!). i got nothin for you on the mc help… im sorry. you’ll be funny and sweet and sassy no matter what- it’s just you.
happy friday!
seriously, I had a train of thought until you posted that wickedly delicious picture. Now I’m sooo distracted.
“Be funny.” OMG that’s so much pressure!
Don’t worry about the comment thing. A response is not required. I used to reply to all my comments but at this point I just get too many to make it feasible. I try to visit my regular commenters’ blogs often and that’s good enough for me.
I bet if your doctor looked like that he wouldn’t even have to ask you to take your shirt off. I know he wouldn’t me.
If my doctor looked like that I”d walk in topless.
Your to-do list is intimidating. My to-do list is written on the back of an envelope and involves nothing cool at all.
Don’t worry about the comments. I don’t think a response is always required. If you have something to say in return, say it. If not, no worries. I used to always reply back on my blog, but it got to be pointless. I wasn’t saying much. So now I’ll sometimes reply back on the site or I’ll just email them if I have something worth saying
Please tell me that’s your Gynecologist. And, if so, will you find out if he’s taking new patients?
look at you all organized. i wish i was more like that. my to-do list is in my head. yeah, not much gets accomplished that way
and don’t feel guilty about not responding to comments. i don’t have time to do that either and plus i don’t even get email addresses from everyone to be able to. blogging should be fun, not a chore!
Ha! #6 is on my to-do list also. I feel better knowing someone else thinks this way.
As for commenting, I don’t get back to comment much either. I email back when I can but dang, finding a social life and eating peanut butter just takes up a LOT of time.
And with the MCing (yes, verb) I’m thinking you’ll be great– people keep asking you for a reason, right?
Happy Friday!
I want to know what pirate marking is?
*crosses her fingers that it involves an eye patch*
And I hate it when blogging becomes just another thing on the guilty to do list. My google reader can’t stay out of the damn triple digits!
After I had my knee surgery a few years ago, I had to attend physical therapy 3 days a week and massage therapy 2 days a week. My primary physical therapist could have been George Clooney’s extremely tan twin with who drove a viper. I was in love with him. Needless to say 5 days of PT wasn’t such a bad thing with his help.
:0)
OH my – To Do lists are not supposed to be that long are they? I would be entirely too intimidated by that one to even get started. Mine tend to be in little 5 tasks bursts instead. More manageable for my brain anyway.
And yes, Dr Clooney? Double swoon.
The closing thought of George Clooney’s warm hands is enough to make up for ANY wrong you may have done! Not that you’ve done anything wrong, but I’m just sayin’. Good luck with that list. I like #17 (no, really! haha).
Jacinta has got everything right, nothing more to say.
You know what they say in Wedding Crashers: Don’t try to be funny. It won’t work.
Maybe I just don’t understand the question. How do you MC a wedding? Or even a reception?
If it’s standing up in front giving a speech, go with the Wedding Crashers advice. If it’s introducing everybody to each other, don’t be too ribald. If it’s entertaining a captive audience, hire a clown.
Or go the funny-but-really-sentimental route, a la Jimmy Stewart on Johnny Carson:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qUNJjIwlHk8
Here’s some more helpful MC advice, found via Google:
http://www.groomgroove.com/other_players/wedding_MC_guide.php
George! I wish I could find a dentist resembles him. I might actually make an appointment then.
I read that forum too. I need to be better about commenting to comments on my own blog but honestly I don’t think people come back to check them out so I mention my responses in comments on the blogs I’m visiting. Bad I know but I think it works??
[...] walk into my class, my brain crammed full with to-do lists (for those who were curious- we started a unit on pirates- cleverly tied into their science unit on [...]
I’m with you, Jess – I comment on the comments occasionally but I really doubt anyone comes back to look and see if I did that. If I really want to holla back, I just email or drop something on your blog.
You have good penmanship! Nice one!
I’ve been down on my commenting lately, too. Mostly because I feel like I’ve grown out of my “NOTICE MY BLOG! NOTICE MY BLOG” phase, and so I comment when have something other to say than “haha” or “that’s sooo true” or “good luck with it!” You know?
Today I realized that I’ve had one item on my to-do list for eight years now. I probably shouldn’t even be writing this comment much less reading your (always funny) blog.
I have also had my share of speaking engagements at weddings. I think the most important thing in delivering a speech is the closing. You can be funny throughout the speech, while touching on moments that display your friendship with the couple (no one can really help you out there — we don’t know them like you do). But the closing — that’s what will remain on the brain of the audience. At my sister’s wedding last summer, I of course played on the sentimental heart strings, while telling a fond memory. Then, I told them I loved them, welcomed him to the family, and said I would like to raise my glass to the new couple. I then ended with, “To E and W. May all of your ups and downs be in bed.” (insert laughter)
[...] a list person. Writing down everything I need, want or should do brings me the peace of mind that I [...]
Shirt off for your complete physical? Not unusual, not weird.
You might have to take it off so the doctor can get a more accurate blood pressure reading. Once you have it off, it can stay off until you’re done.