The Wedding Date Dilemma May 12, 2008
Posted by brandy in advice, are you there God? It's me- ripping off Judy Blume, confession of the day, i like scotch & table dancing, men, oh dear, shoes, sigh. i've made a tag for THE HILLS., single girl stories, tequila consequences, your vote matters here.trackback
My mom and I were talking the other day about that game show that involves the lie detector test. I asked my mom if she would ever go on and she cried out “OH NO!” before I had even finished the question. Of course, I followed that up with ” What? Is the milkman my real father? You have some deep, dark secrets that you don’t want to get out?” Silence. So I followed up, ” Seriously, you have big secrets?” And she responded with the two words no child wants to hear:
“Of course”.
So, now I’m curious. But not curious to want to ask more questions. (But if the milkman really is my father, it would explain my love for all things dairy). That whole situation got me thinking about secrets. The ones we keep, the ones we share, the ones we share without telling it all. I’ve decided to share my latest dilemma that’s consuming my life and distracting me from important things like The Hills and my ongoing quest to broker peace in the Middle East make the perfect cupcake.
I’m going to a wedding in July (for which I am the MC) and feel stuck. I’m single, going to an event that will have more couples than Noah’s Ark. My dilemma has nothing to do with what my role as MC is (no really, what IS my role as MC?), or what to wear (no really, what do you wear to a summer wedding?), but about the dreaded situation all single girls must face come wedding season: The Date Dilemma.
Of course I will be going- the TLC idea just isn’t a possibility, but I thought I needed a third choice. And for the record, sadly my life currently only includes male friends who would be inappropriate wedding dates. And I say “inappropriate” because they wouldn’t know anyone and bringing them to a social event (that would require sleeping in the same hotel room) would be a direct route to trouble. And not the good kind that you tell people about the next day, while shaking your head at last nights MADCAP CRAZINESS!, but the kind of trouble you lock away and only tell your diary years after you’ve gotten over the shame.
If any of you have other options regarding the Wedding Date Dilemma of 2008, I’d love to hear them. Especially if they involve heavy drinking and/or me needing to go shoe shopping.
I say go alone. You’ll have a shit load of fun … of course the only awkward time will be slow dance time, in which case you dance anyways with random dudes, or if you’d rather not, then take a stroll outside, or grab a drink.
Or …
How about a girlfriend? Or your brother? Or a life-like cardboard cutout of George Clooney?
The milkman/love of dairy comment made me laugh out loud. It’s funny how easy it is to forget our parents are people.
I think they all probably have their secrets…
Don’t know what to say in terms of the wedding date… I’ve gone solo to so many! But maybe if you mix drinking and shoe shopping, the universe will present you with a hot heels salesman? Ya never know…
I say go alone too. I usually have more fun at those things alone anyway. And I agree. . . girlfriend? Or you could always take your inappropriate friend and have him wear a mask of Will Arnett or Jim.
i have the exact! same! dilemma! this summer….but I’m leaning towards going alone. inappropriate can easily get awkward since you’ll have to ‘entertain’ the date who knows no one. and since you’re mc-ing….that could be quite a tough night to handle!
I say go alone. When you take someone who doesn’t know anyone, you spend more time making sure they have a good time, aren’t bored, feeling left out, etc. that you forget to have fun. Besides, it’s stressful.
My only other recommendation (for now): run like hell when it comes to tossing the bouquet. I mean, do you really want to be shoved to the front of the room and go elbow to elbow with women who really think that catching a bunch of flowers means they will be the next Bridezilla?
Definitely go alone – you don’t need someone there with you and if you take the inappropriate guy with you and theres a much hotter single guy there, you’ll regret it.
I have no idea what the MC does at a wedding, but I’m sure it involves enough stuff that you won’t notice you’re there without a date!
Go alone. That’s what I’m doing this wedding season at least. I’d rather go alone than feel the need to entertain someone who doesn’t know anyone.
As for what to wear, a cute dress and some amazing heels. You’ll look killer and be able to have your pick of all the single men!
Hope you resolve your wedding date dilemma….I don’t have any suggestions. I would probably go by myself, but that’s just me!
Last summer I packed my bags and traveled to Ecuador and the Galapagos alone. Was I hesitant at first? Sure, a little. But going alone forced me to extend myself to strangers I otherwise would have never met. It turned out to be one of the best trips I’ve ever taken. So I vote go alone. However, if you feel ill at the thought, find a gay guy. My gays always tell me I’m pretty while offering quiet snark about those mingling around us. Sure to be a swell affair with a gay on your arm.
PS: An MC? You gentiles sure do weddings differently than us Heebs.
You can always hope for Owen Wilson a la Wedding Crashers…
I just wanted to stop by quick to say that I’ll be back. I started reading this (though we discussed it in full detail last night!), but I have to jet to a meeting. I’ll be back!
I say go alone. Way back I went to my senior prom alone, with TEN couples…yeah, I rode there with my best friend and her boyfriend and watched awkwardly from the back as they stared lovingly into each other’s eyes the whole ride. Then we went out to eat and I was the only girl paying for her meal. That sucked, but the night actually turned out to be a lot of fun, and I was (and still am) glad I went. So I say go! And be that strong confident woman everyone admires
I have THREE weddings to go to and i’m single as well! The wedding you’re going to, do you have lots of friends who will be there? If so, go single and have fun with them. That’s my plan, at least. I’m just hoping I wont bawl when they have slow dances.
Argh, the above comment is me. Apparently someone at work was using my computer to update a company blog. Anyway…hi!
I have two weddings this summer at which I’ll be the token single girl, and likely the only one. I’m just going to get all dolled up and have a blast. Sounds like you will too. But seriously, what do you wear to a summer wedding.
I usually just go single. I tell myself that at least I’ll be “open” to whatever else may come along before then or at the actual wedding. Does that ever work? Of course not, but it makes me feel better. As does a drink beforehand.
Personally I’d either go alone or take a gay friend. Gay friend means no worries about doing anything stupid with them while drunk and you can both check out the hotties, place bets on who has the better shot at them and have a stress free good time.
I am all for going to a wedding single. Just sometimes there are cute single guys, at weddings. You never know. If you know everyone you will have a great time no matter what.
I’m back. Seems as though the overwhelming consensus here is to go single. Which is what I told you last night and still stick with. You never know who you’ll meet there, right?
So I’m invited to a wedding this summer, and because I’m not part of a couple, I don’t get to bring a plus one. Which, I can understand, because weddings are $$ and bla bla bla, why pay for my random date, bla bla… but yeah. I’ll be stag at that one as well.
New shoes and a cute dress it will have to be!
Oh, and tequila for you and gin for me.
As a 34 year old, I’ve been to A LOT of weddings. And I’ve been to most of them SINGLE. Sometimes, I was dating someone at the time. But, I never brought anyone to a wedding unless we were serious. Because honestly? Weddings do funny things to people. And I never wanted to be so terribly focused on my own craziness. Plus, is it really that hard to be happy for the couple, celebrate their day and have fun with our collective friends solo? I dunno … I tend to think more pressure is put on me when I bring someone (as in, “who’s he?”) than if I go stag. Then again, I turned down guys who asked me to prom in high school. I hated those nights and always stayed home instead. Now that I think about it, I should’ve gone solo! hahaha.
I say go and have fun!!
i have (or had, i’m set with my solution) dilemna for a wedding next month. the boy in question is my boyfriend, who i adore, but it involves flying cross-country, him knowing no one, and me being a bridesmaid so having to leave him alone a lot. even though i’d love my parents and friends to meet him, i just decided that i’d spend too much time worrying that he was having a good time, and not enough time having a good time myself. i’ve been to many weddings solo and i think of it as exercising my independence.
I’m in a similar wedding date dilemma too. My brother is getting married and it will be all couples, I’m single. I’m taking my best girl friend with me for support and to just have fun. It might look odd but if I’m going to survive, I need her with me.
I didn’t read the other comments but here’s my opinion:
If you were just a wedding guest, I’d say maybe try to find a date. But since you’re such a big part of the wedding, bringing someone and then not being able to spend anytime with them seems a little.. rude? I don’t know. I think you’ll have a better time just focusing on yourself and your friends.
And who knows, you might meet someone before then that would be a great date and this would all be for nothing!
Go and have a blast! Say your name is ” MC Wedding-Lyte,” half the date of a typical wedding party! Be the girl with the most cake (or not, that may not bode well for future dates)- fake that you are eating all the cake and have everyone hating you for looking marvelous! Wear SJP’s hat to get ALL the attention of the Birch club!
As for secrets- great conundrum! Mom shared a few with me my siblings don’t know…hhmmph!
If you know a lot of people already, go alone. you’ll have more fun. My friends and I have all been secretly thrilled when there were certain weddings our husbands couldn’t come to. If most of the people there are people that for whatever reason, they don’t know, it’s SO much easier to just relax and have a good time and catch up with friends if you’re by yourself. I felt horribly guilty for feeling this way about my husband who I adore until about five of my girlfriend admitted the same exact thing. Point being, it’s more work to bring someone who doesn’t know anyone if you already have a ton of friends there…Who cares if they’re couples…just go do tequila shots during the slow dances and have a blast with them the rest of the night.
Heh, all Parents have secrets, because they’re humans just like us. I made a firm decision years ago never, ever to ask. For my sake as well as theirs.
I say take the money you were going to spend on the dress and whatever else for the wedding, fly to Mexico, and have fruity alcoholic drinks served to you by cabana boys. According to all of my female friends, this is the best possible investment of funds, and I’m just passing the info along…
where a strapless dress with an a-line skirt?
I voted to go alone, even though I’ve vowed never to go to a couple-heavy wedding stag ever again. It was miserable for me. But maybe being the MC will change things?
I totally vote to go alone. I risked this at my cousin’s wedding a couple summers ago, met my boyfriend there and we’ve been dating ever since! Am I cool enough for yo to e-mail me the password?
Oh man, I’m emcee at a wedding this summer, too. I have no IDEA what that involves!
Em- My life life cardboard of George is in vault and only brought out during special times. Okay, that was supposed to be funny and it just came out creepy.
Mel Heth- I like your thinking. Possibly because it involves drinking and shopping, but also because it doesn’t require me to find a date. I shall drink and shop and the date will come to me
poodlegoose- Ohhh Jim…. swoon.
libby- I know! And I know I will have a hard time entertaining and making said guest feel comfortable when all I want to do is party.
Dingo- Agreed. I caught the bouquet a few years ago and it was so awkward. This girl tried to snatch it out of my hand and snarled ” I really needed that!”, and the bride came over and insisted that I caught it and the girl gave me a dirty look and stalked off. I’m cool not catching one again.
Beth- This idea that the MC is a lot of work… makes me feel like I should be doing some sort of planning right now.
Sara Jane- Sounds like a good plan. Now, any store/website dress recommendations?
Rachel- I think that will be me too!
Paige Jennifer- Ahh, who knows how classy this will be with me as MC. I’m pretty sure that I could ruin the night with some bad jokes and suprise photos. Okay, whoa. That sort of sounded like a threat. The poor bride. What was she thinking picking me? Also, congrats on your trip! I heard that Ecuador is awesome.
Carrie- Dude. I think of that movie EVERYTIME I’m at a wedding. And I cry a little inside when I go home without hearing “Shout”.
brookem- I love that you left that comment.
Jamie- Wow. I could do that now (I think) but I don’t think I would have been confident enough to pull that off in high school. Well done! You sound like you were the girl I wish I would have been.
goodgradeshow/Lauren- Hi! And thanks for the comment. Hearing that other people are in the same situation makes me feel a lot better. Oh wedding season- how I love and hate you in equal amounts.
The Maiden Metallurgist- Seriously, I don’t know. I think summer dress and heels? But if part of it’s outside heels sink. And what’s too casual? Oh, I need Stacy and Clinton here STAT!
justrun- You might just win my favourite comment of the day with this one. I love the honesty.
CableGirl- “stress free good time” sounds like the perfect idea. I shall search out some options…
1218blog- That’s what I think too. I hate that I let my brain get sidetracked by the things that don’t matter (ie. date or no date) when I have bigger things to worry about (ie. wedge, heel or flat).
brookem- Lemon gin and lemonade = a liquid kiss from Denny who layers and plays the guitar.
Nilsa- “Weddings do funny things to people”- truer words never spoken. Or typed.
Abbie- I think that will be the plan…
k- ‘exercising my independence’. I like that.
Jessica- Sounds like a good idea. I have a friend who is supposed to be visiting around that time but I don’t know if it’s fair to drag her to a wedding where she won’t know anyone when I’m the MC. Oh well. It will figure itself out.
nicoleantoinette- That’s what I was worried about- bringing someone and then ignoring them because I had shit to go say. And how romantic was that? “shit to go say”. I definitely should be a wedding speaker.
Michelle- the fact that you endorse tequila shots during slow songs makes my heart fill with happiness.
geekhiker- I don’t like thinking my parents have secrets. I like to think they are… boring. And secret-less. I know, I’m selfish. As for Mexico, that sounds like a plan. I need some summer plans…
HC- A-line skirt. IS there a more loveable item of clothing on the planet? I think not.
Tiff- Fingers crossed.
Not Carrie Bradshaw- Whooo that was a nice story to share! And wait, I think Egan met his wife at a wedding…
lfar- Okay! I’m glad someone else is in the same boat as me!!
wait wait am i an idiot or am i just drunk, what is an MC?
is this one of those things that i am going to feel really stupid about once you tell me what it is?
anyways i would go single. there isn’t a point for taking a guy friend just because.
i went to 12 weddings in 2007 and i have 9 in 2008 everyone of them i am have been single too.
(ok reading the above statement, yeah slightly depressing)
: )
I voted for going alone. If you’re emceeing the event, I doubt you’d get to spend much time with your date anyway.
And as for deep, dark secrets, my mom has none. That’s what I will believe in, and I will never, never ask. Hehe. It’s better that way.
lemon gin and lemonade?! that DOES sound like a sweet kiss from layered, good HOH’d jeffery dean morgan. mmmmhmmm.
see! others are confused on the MC thing too! i do believe that around here, your MC task is taken over by our DJ’s (not tanner). do you have djs?
Totally go alone. I think you will have a blast & won’t feel pressured to entertain someone (other than yourself!) the whole night. As for your mom and secrets, somethings are better left unsaid. I mean really have you seen that show? Yikes.
I voted for what I thought was the obvi and it turns out no one agrees…ok 9 other people agree, but still…
Alexa- Don’t feel bad, brookem doesn’t know what an MC is either
. I’m not sure if it’s just a Canadian thing, but a wedding MC, “emcees” the wedding. Like, introduces speakers, tells a few jokes, basically makes sure that the reception part runs smoothly until the DJ takes over. At least that’s what I think they do.
The Lisa Show- See, I wish I could believe my mom has none. Now I’m concerned. What is this secret? Am I really not her favourite child? My mind boggles at such a thought.
brookem- I totally thought of you when I saw that comment. We DO have Dj’s but MC’s too. Because in Canada (apparently this is just a Canadian thing?) we really like to shake things up.
Semichrmd- I know!! Now all I can think about is that HER secret is one that rivals any told on the show. And that? Is a scary thought.
littlespoon- It turns out 10 people agree with you. So, you are definitely not alone. It could be worse- you could have voted TLC.
A wedding MC is a new one for me. You Canadians are crazy cats I tell you. DJs and MCs? You go with your bad selves. I do know what an MC is, thank you very much. I think an MC is a washed up rapper such as Hammer or Ice-T, but I could be wrong about that.
My husband and I were talking about that show and there is no way to know if you are being truthful sometimes. If they asked me if I did anything that made me feel guilty while my husband was out of town (like they did to the one girl on the show) I would have to say yes. I accidentally put his sweater in the dryer and then rewashed it and tried to stretch it. Then I totally lied to him when he asked if I washed it because it was too small now. Of course when the show was on I confessed because I was laughing so hard at how it would come off as something totally different if I answered that yes, I did something I felt guilty about while he was away. So really, any of the questions they ask I’d probably have a hard time answering! But the show is funny as hell to watch (and also sort of sad sometimes when the person says things that you just can’t believe they would say/do)
I have no idea what your post was about now that I rambled on like that. I may need to reread and come back with a sensical comment later.
The last wedding I went to was for my best friend. Alas a week prior, a man I was living with, and I had just broken up. It was an ugly nasty break up. The kicker? He was the photographer for the wedding. So he was there anyway… and it was awkward and weird, but honestly I still had an amazing time.
My moral? You’ll still have a great time by yourself if I could have fun in that situation. <3
Oh, and about the mom anecdote, it is so weird to realize that parents aren’t infallible. They have secrets. They’re human. It’s so unfair.
Go single. What’s the worst that could happen?
And then, for some reason, he thought of “Wedding Crashers.”
Unfortunately I doubt my mother has secrets… she is one of those people that feels the need to tell my brothers and I random things about her past and her sex life…. and really I want to gouge my ears out with scissors… The past is the past and that doesn’t bother me… but I don’t want to know what she and my stepdad are doing in bed. Yuck!
Go alone. Leave with a new ‘friend’.
My family (the one I grew up with, not the one I currently have a household with) was talking about “burn-it boxes”–boxes of secrets you ask to have burned unopened after you die. My mom was going to have one. I said that I would burn it without looking, and then I would be TORMENTED FOR THE REST OF MY DAYS. It turns out she thought a realllllly big secret was a prayer journal where she’d write personal thoughts, whereas I went directly to OMG I MUST HAVE A SECRET HALF-SIBLING NO ONE TOLD ME ABOUT!!!
I would just go alone, but request to be sat at a table with plenty of people you know– and, if Sex and The City has taught us anything in life, seduce a groomsmen!
Taking a guy who doesn’t know anyone isn’t necessarily a bad thing. 2005 was The Year Of The Wedding, and after going stag to numerous nuptials, I decided to take a guy friend from NYC to a friend’s wedding back home.
He had a blast, and all of my friends fell in love with him and started asking why I didn’t just date him! And our hotel room had seperate beds.
So if you’ve got a guy who is outgoing and can make friends with anyone (at least for a night), take him along! Otherwise go solo. I’ll be doing that to at least 3 weddings this year (including one tonight!)… it gets less painful each time
Oh god.
I have the same problem. 3 saves the dates on the fridge, but no date for me.
Shoot me now!
[...] now tonight, I’m dealing with a dress issue. The no-date dilemma wedding I’m attending has fast approached. Tomorrow, I shall attempt to make 150 people laugh without [...]
Also Check This Wonderful Site, Very Helpfull free online christmas game 8579
Idaretosay caring christmas live tree jaji
Hi there! Your site is cool! christmas songs silent night 8-[[