Pollyanna drops f-bombs April 6, 2008
Posted by brandy in and now you might know everything, blogs, confession of the day, don't hate me for this, i hate it when i blog about blogging, i'm the sum of my failures and my achivements, midgets and/or peacock feathers dipped in gold, question of the day, secrets, thinking, when i say it anyway.trackback
Do you ever feel like your blog portrays you as someone you are not? Or more accurately, doesn’t portray you are someone you are?
I’ve been thinking about that lately.
Other than the hiccup involving a poor, unfortunate and unoriginal soul- things around the blog have been pretty cheery. There’s been talk of LOVE! And BEAUTY! And FRIENDSHIP! I pretty much have all the ingredients for a rocking Babysitter Club book. I’m thisclose to posting about puppies, but am worried that if my blog publishes one more post soaked in happiness, the whole wordpress system will collapse and I will be held completely responsible.
In short, life has been one long drink of lemonade lately.
Which is why I started thinking about how a blog portrays a person. You see, I’m usually a pretty happy person. In fact, I’ve been known to smile before 9am and I say things like ‘holy moley!’ (I blame the last one on the fact that I work with children). But am I always cheerful? No. In fact, sometimes I’m miserable. I can brood so deeply, I make Heathcliff look like a delightful circus clown. I can sink so far, so fast into a depression it can scare me.
And I curse. Quite often, actually. The f-bomb is a particular favourite and the word that almost got me kicked out of a Wal-mart. (Note to self- Never say “fuck!” while searching for a kiddie pool pump. Also note to self? If you are over the age of 11 and plan on putting a kiddie pool in your front yard while you and your friends soak up the rays and slurp in the drink- expect people to slow down and stare at you like you are three-headed and have an elephant trunk attached to your face). Though the f-bomb is a favourite- I take no prisoners with my cursing and am sure that during my most distressed state- my verbal outpouring would make even the most obscene sailor blush.
I also don’t think my blog really showcases just how perverted my brain is. It feels wrong to brag about such things (in the same way that it would feel weird to brag about how you never brag, or how long your toes are), but it’s true. My ability to throw in the perfect “TWSS” is common knowledge among my friends, yet not really mentioned on the blog. In fact, I’ve recently started to tone down the comments because it feels wrong to get such joy out of the perfect “TWSS” shout-out when you teach grade two.
The fact that I don’t regularly swear while writing, or don’t highlight just how much Michael Scott and I have in common is not an intentional act. My fingers don’t hover over the keyboard trying to decide if I should throw out a curse or not, I just never do. That feels like it’s important to share- I don’t like the idea of people thinking I consciously censor myself, or my writing. There are just some things that never make it in, never fall through the cracks of my brain and land in a post. I don’t know why and I have come to terms with the idea that I never will, but I still find the whole thing curious.
Is there some part of you that isn’t shown through your blog? And if there is- is it intentional?
I go out of my way to make my blog my happy place. I look ridiculously sweet and girly girly girly on my blog.
I don’t like to have downer posts. If I write something serious, I’ll follow it up with 5 fluffy posts.
I’m not a fraction as girly as my blog makes me out to be, and I’m WAY more of a downer than the happy fluffy that I write about.
But I do it on purpose. My blog is kind of therapeutic for me. I try to keep it “up”, in order to bring myself up. And the girly? Well, that just amuses me more than anything.
I’ve never really thought about it, but I am sure there’s something…. I am pretty open about everything, but I think I am better at expressing myself when writing instead of speaking, so I would probably seem a little more relaxed in person than my writing is sometimes…
I think about this, A LOT. And yes, I think that people are probably not always getting the full picture of who I am.
My brain right now is fried, and I want to elaborate more, but I cant find the words.
I’m going to work on my “hate” list. That makes sense to me right now.
PS-thank you again for the kind email the other day!
hmm….i think my blog is pretty representational of me, but yeah- there are probably a bunch of things i don’t mention. the one thing i won’t mention- is roommate talk. i want to share, buttt…. one knew of my blogspot address and i’m still not sure if my wordpress site is secure enough to share.
Funny you should mention this today. I was actually having a pretty bad day and just couldn’t bring myself to write my next, isn’t life amusing post when all I wanted to do was rant. I’m rather free with the cursing on my blog but have yet to write anything that is not happy or at least humorous. The closest I got to was ranting about the terrible papers my student sometimes hand in. I actually wondered if bloggers never had a bad day or were pissed at their husbands/boyfriends, kids, jobs, etc. It’s never written about without humor or some sort of self-deprecation. And then the next question I asked myself, “do we want to know?”
Sorry, this is rambling but I have been thinking about this a lot today.
Haha, I laugh. When I met McGee a few months ago, she wasn’t sure what I’d be like. Recently, I met a friend of hers, who also reads my blog. McGee warned her in advance, “DS is nowhere near as serious as she is on her blog.”
Which is true. My blog is one of the few places where my synapses tend to align, rather than jumping from place to place. The random letters I write tend to be more how I am than the serious reflective or contemplative pieces. I write to center my thoughts. I think it surprises people to see how much more…happy-go-lucky or silly I am, because I don’t always come off that way.
My blog definitely only portrays one side of me, and that is definitely on purpose. Even in real life, no one really knows who I am, although that is NOT on purpose. I’m always thrown off by what people say to me about me because I don’t realize just how I come off. And sometimes people have completely opposite opinions of me (“You never smile.” “You’re so happy-go-lucky.”) which throws me for a loop even more.
I throw in the “TWSS” comments every now and again, and it definitely is because of Michael Scott, but I mean, I would always reference Friends or Sex and the City or quote some other show I love, so I see no difference there. Although people seem to actually get mad at me for “TWSS”! I don’t know why though. I think it’s funny.
)
If my mother and coworkers did not read my blog, it would probably be a lot more entertaining…one can’t help but sensor a bit when she’s aware of who is reading her stuff.
I did go through a time where I censored myself on my blog, but then figured if it was truly a place where I was to release any pent up thoughts in my head, then why would I hold back? I find now, I write more of what I’m thinking and worry less about what I think people want to read.
And thanks for the lesson on twitter!
I agree, no one sees all of me on my blog either. But you see the thing is that everyone has different sides…the good, the bad and the ugly.
The GOOD are the lovey, girly happy posts.
The BAD (more bad like bad ass) filled with F*bombs and dirty thoughts.
And the UGLY…everyone has bad days, where you don’t smile before 12:00P because that means the day is halfway over, or where you don’t know what time it is because you didn’t get out of bed at all.
The thing about downer times is that they’re so easy to get caught up in, being in a bad mood is contagious, even more so than the sunshine and rainbows you pump out most days on your blog.
We’re all human…and we know you are too! Rest assured that although you may feel like you’re entire self isn’t displayed, your readers appreciate the good, bad and ugly, but your “good”, Babysitter Club Grownup Edition inspires others each and every day.
Is there anything greater than tossing the perfect TWSS? Seriously!
My blog is just one side of me, so I’m not too worried what people think about me after they have visited. Except for that one anonymous commenter who only comments after I trash Clay Aiken…nah, I’m kidding. That commenter knows all they need to know about me.
Hmmm…having already been through some embarrassment at an unintended local reader who read my rants…about him…I certainly do keep some stuff hidden! also, my mom reads. So, I try not to cuss too much though IRL I surely do. However, I don’t only show a happy snarky side..I still rant away on just *about* everything. Just not the Little League coach. Because…yeah…ooof.
I (usually) intentionally leave out a lot of the not-so-happy thoughts that run through my head when blogging. But even if I wanted my blog to encompass every aspect of my personality, it would take John Updike-like blogging skill and large time commitments to pull it off. You might want to replace John Updike’s name with a writer you think is really talented. I’ve never actually read anything he’s written, but Shakespeare seemed too obvious.
when i started my blog i told my mom the URL (i tell her almost everything) and sometimes i regret that. she told her friends and now 95% of my family are daily readers. and i am very grateful for that. but still….. so i’m honest about everything i post but at times i sensor the cursing and amount of alcohol consumption and certain antics it creates. and i for sure don’t mention hooking up. sometimes i wish i could up the rating to R because i think my blog is pretty PG-13.
but the damage has been done if i ever want to REALLY cut loose, i need to create a new blog. then maybe that other side of me will be able to come out.
I suppose there are things. Like you, I certainly tend to swear less on the blog. I don’t post about some of my deeper desires and wants and needs because I’m not sure that they would make for interesting reading, and who wants to read a boring blog?
I suppose it is, to some degree, a bit of self doubt. It often feels that there are so few who have ever wanted to know me on some deeper level in the real world, I find myself doubting they would in the virtual one as well…
Hah…I wish I was as spontaneous in real life as I am in my posts. My blog is much more interesting than my life.
This post really, really, REALLY made me think. My blog is no indication of how Crazy, how “dlkjdflkgjrtlkyj” I am in real life.
I show my good side on my blog, not my jealous side. Plus, my blog is public so I can’t really do the one thing I LOVE– gossip. Bummer.
I have to ditto DS’s comment. I think I come across as quite serious on my blog. And although I am, generally introspective, I am also funny and silly in real life. I have quite a dry sense of humour and it only really shines when you hear my tone.
I loved this post, it really has got me thinking about my ‘blog persona’.
I started out hiding bits and pieces of myself. Bottling up the crazy…
But I’ve slowly opened the bottle and let the crazy spill out as I got more comfortable with my blog and my readers.
I’ve had to start password-protecting some posts because I want to be completely honest while not revealing too much to prying eyes. However, there are things I don’t even write on my blog for fear of people thinking I am a horrible person.
I like how happy your posts are! Before I even read this post I was going to comment on how I I can’t help myself but to read early in the morning because reading your blog is a great way to start my day!
I’m pretty open when it comes to my blog, and I’m not very open in real life. I tend to close up and not really talk much about what is going on in my mind. I keep things to myself when they are bothering me.
I don’t portray my sex life…in short b/c my father reads my blog
I know for sure that I don’t put my full self on my blog. It’s sort of on purpose – I want you to know the best parts about me, but then I’ll just give slivers of my real life, so you don’t think I’m some happy robot. I try not to be too negative cause I don’t really love reading negative posts on other blogs, but in person I’m pretty negative and sarcastic. The blog gives me an opportunity to edit myself, I suppose.
I think that even if a person was 100% honest on a blog, you would never know who they are until you spend time with them face to face.
My blogging problem was always the opposite of yours – at least that’s how I felt. I laid out the sarcasm, perversion and anger quite often, but I don’t think I let out enough of my happiness or positiveness. I wasn’t really as bitter of a person as my blog at the time sometimes portrayed.
And I totally get the not really writing the curse words. I have to be pretty annoyed or upset to type them. Otherwise, they just don’t really come out in my writing…I have this thing where when I read the word “fuck”, it can sometimes sound…well…inappropriate. I’ve developed the ability to tell if someone is using it for shock value or because they are truly in the moment if their rant. And the latter always works for me while the former just sounds fake. If that makes any sense whatsoever.
my blog is so… all over the place that I’m not really sure if there’s a part of me that hasn’t been shown.
I think there’s still a very high likelihood, though. I’m fairly multifaceted and.. yeah.. Not sure I completely portray that in my writing.
definatley. actually i wrote a whole blog post last summer, the fact that my blog is my life and therefore it is going be chaotic and pretty boring at times. This blog goes for days without anything interesting happing. See the comparison?
But the blog is my life over the last 3 years. Admittedly, I haven’t often revealed things that have gone on in my life to the outside world; but maybe its kind of obvious that I was horribly lost for a long while.
oh DEF, this post is SO TRUE. I love a good TWSS.
I also don’t purposely hide a part of my on my blog. But I surely do showcase my favourite parts. I’m bossy and full of my self in real life, but who wants to read that? I think I also [un]intentionally give my readers what they want… and they like the funny!
Good to read a post like this every once in a while. But now: PUPPIES!
There are plenty parts of my life that are left out of my blog intentionally. For example, the large part of my relationship with my boyfriend. I talk about some of the things that we do together like when we went out to the Braves game, but other than that, I like to keep our relationship between me and him.
Then there are things like arguments that I have with people however severe or not severe they may be. I just feel like people need to know what me and my boyfriend or me and my mother or other people are arguing about.
I have really enjoyed reading your blog! You really make a person think.
I don’t talk about my sex life on my blog. Because I’m engaged and with only one person and talking about it puts my fiance on the spot without him wanting to be there. Generally, I try not to “out” my friends even if the experience is a part of who I am. Make sense?
I suddenly feel like that English in general lacks of swearwords. And I think if someone ever was 100% honest on a blog, that would make him/her a fool. The Internet is not a private garden, hence you’ve got to keep things to yourself.
I think my blog is exactly who I am…but I think sometimes that is because I share way more than I should about my life. I’m waiting for it to come back and bite me in the butt sometime, but so far it has been all good. I do leave out a lot about my husband and my older kids, figuring that their stories are not mine to tell though. I’m also starting to leave out a lot of stuff about sex that I probably would have shared if I wasn’t afraid of my oldest daughter accidentally finding my blog and reading it and being totally grossed out and embarrassed that her mom thinks about sex.
My daughter just started reading The Babysitter Club books and I love to sit next to her and read over her shoulder. She almost stopped reading them when she found out that I liked them when I was younger (and still like them).
I think my blog is like a more concentrated version of me: happier, sadder, more frustrated, funnier, wittier, and with a better vocabulary…
I worry sometimes that people who read and like my blog will meet me and be disappointed. Not that I think my blog is “OMG SO GREAT,” I just think it’s kind of glossier than I am in real life.
Wow. Somehow this comment seems lamer the more I read it. Geez…
Hmmm I feel like I really haven’t found my blogging niche yet if that makes sense. What to write about, what not to write about. How to clearly express who I am, I think I am still struggling with that. One thing I definitely don’t write about is work, everything else is mostly free game, although I do find myself censored at times.
I’m actually a pretty shy person. I’ve been revealing more about myself over time but there are times when I’ll compose a post and hit delete.
Yeah, I drop f-bombs pretty regularly too. Most tend to occur when I’m driving though.
I don’t show so much of my real life family life on my blog because if they ever found it, there’d be hell to pay. I’m thinking about starting a separate blog for that!
I think people need to stop thinking about blogs as exact representations of themselves, and stop saying things like, “I’m putting it all out there” and “this blog is all me,” because that’s just not possible. Your blog is what you choose to talk about and how you choose to talk about it. It can never represent you as a whole but that isn’t really the point.
So yeah, I’d say that my blog is true to who I am but it doesn’t get at a lot of the most private things. So maybe it gives a slightly rose-colored view. But I don’t think anyone should expect a blog to dive wholeheartedly into the deepest, most private and personal things.
Okay so I thought the BabySitters Club was the best thing ever!!! So if you’re rockin your blog BabySitters style you are totally pulling me in.
Yeah, my blog isn’t ME… it’s just one side of me… more the thinking, emotional side. I have a whole ‘nother business woman side I don’t show there – so yeah, blogs don’t always do us justice.
I think we all turn to our blog for a specific therapeutic (or “cause”) reason, so that naturally leaves out pieces of our personalities. My blog is for sure farrrr more angsty than I come across in person, because it’s what I do when I think my poor head might explode with worries. Also I’ve vowed not to talk about my relationship(s) to my friends so much. But sometimes I do worry that I’ll come across as the most emo person on the planet.
And I hate emo. Blech
For some reason, my blog is where I’m probably the most honest. I’m direct and open, pulling back the bandaids to expose the wounds and scars. In fact, sometimes I think I’m more me on my blog than I am with certain people. Now what the fuck does that say?
I also don’t think my blog really showcases just how perverted my brain is.
mine definately does!!
I suppose my blog doesn’t show that I am frequently weepy and depressed because let’s face it who wants to read about someone whinging on?
I would like to think that I am who I am on my blog, but I know that isn’t true.
In life, I am super simple and content. I talk but about a whole lot of nothing. I like to joke but I am sensitive at the same time. Hmm…this is making me think a lot.
Good post!
Oh my heck, today I said holy moley and fuck in the same sentence, and I haven’t ever used either on my blog. It’s like you’re in my head!
oh I was SO thinking about this the other day too! I don’t know that I “hide” parts of myself intentionally but I think I have a different “voice” depending on the subject matter! Like I started a blog mainly to talk about my weight loss journey but I also have this deep, soulful side of me that wants to write and I felt the need to write a new blog just b/c its a different “voice” My blogs are just a representation of a small facet of me…I can’t possibly write about everything that I see, process, think, imagine!
I like that you take the high road on the perversion thing. I read plenty of it in the blogworld so it’s nice to not read about it as often. I say this after commenting on how much you love Mr. Duchovny.
I tone down the sarcasm, for sure.
I also don’t post about my political leanings that much.