Ointment and Pure Seduction March 7, 2008
Posted by brandy in Q & A, and now you might know everything, beauty can get ugly, because I can't do report cards 24/7, confession of the day, find the great TWSS line!, i'm hot like fire, if you're shallow and you know it clap your hands!, it seemed like a good idea at the time..., it was a dance dance revolution, men, tequila consequences, these are the things that happen to me.trackback
Hi. Remember this? Let’s begin!
Greta-a-Sketch asked “What was your first kiss like?”
My first kiss was… wet. And I think I saw stars. Not because it was overly romantic, but because I had no idea that you were supposed to breathe while kissing. I sort of.. held my breath. And then when my ears started to pound I let out this big GASP! And the boy looked all pleased with himself like his kissing technique (of darting his tongue all over my mouth) had left me breathless. Men.
She also asked, in addition to phalanges, what other words do you like?
I’ve had a post sitting in my drafts box for a few months that entirely about words I like. Maybe it’s because I’m a reader (or maybe I’m a reader because of this?) but I like words. I like the way they roll around in my tongue, the way they make my mouth feel. Here are some of my favourites: soliloquy, Borneo, zing etiquette, sultry, allegory, luminescence, caterpillar, whiplash, cord, mesmerizing, Connecticut, bellicose, cork, encrusted, ravishing, loquacious, embark, lavender, omnipresent and superfluous. A sentence like ” The mesmerizing soliloquy by the sultry caterpillar produced a zing in my lavender encrusted heart” may make no sense but it’s pretty much like an orgasm for my mouth. (Oh, and Ashley, I promise phalange is an actual word. Though it does sound like a made up word doesn’t? Sort of like, igloo. I always thought that word sounded dodgy.)
Pam asked, “what words do you hate?”
Ointment. The C word. Oh, and the term ‘tube steak’.
Tori asked, “do you wear perfume? If so, what kind?”
Perfume is something that I either LOVE or HATE depending my mood, my outfit, the position of the Earth. It’s pretty random. Most days I like leaving the house with something, but other days the idea of wearing perfume seems like TOO MUCH WORK (this goes against the theory I had in university where perfume was often put on instead of showering on those mornings I had little sleep because last night there was a special on jugs of beer. Because I valued pitcher specials as highly as my expensive education).
Here are a few from my current rotation: Island hop Spray by Gap (hello heaven? You come in a bottle!), Eternity by Calvin Klein, Deep Red by Hugo Boss, Mediterranean by Elizabeth Arden and Fantasy by Britney Spears (though I haven’t wore this since I subbed a grade 6 class one day and found out that I was wearing the same perfume as the entire girl population of the class) and Pure Seduction by Victoria’s Secret. Holy shit. I own a perfume called Pure Seduction??! I feel sort of like a tramp. I had no idea that was what it was called- I just buy the bottle with the pink flower on it. But closer inspection has revealed that this little bottle of magic has a name. Now what kind of grade two teacher goes to work smelling like something called “Pure Seduction”? That just seems wrong.
Lisa asked “What is your most deformed body part?”
I’m not sure if it’s a good thing or a bad thing that I knew INSTANTLY what I was going to answer with. It has to be my right foot. Also known as the foot I broke in three spots attempting to do the worm at a wedding. Do I know how to do the worm? No. Have I EVER known how to do the worm? No. Did a few wobbly pops somehow warp my mind into thinking that I could do the worm if I just visualized me doing the worm? Yes. And do I hate myself for using the term ‘wobbly pops’? Absolutely.
The foot actually healed wrong (shocking-considering I was put in a walking boot and walked on it for 2 months since I work crutches as well as I work chopsticks) and now it’s sort of… crooked and lumpy. Man, I’m getting you all so hot right now aren’t I? Apparently I need to get it re-broke but that means, at least two months not being able to drive. And although I love the idea of piggy back rides and accessorizing my cast, the idea of not driving for two months is about as pleasant as getting a root canal while listening to Ashley Simpson.
And in case there was any misunderstanding- I’m fully aware that the word ‘lumpy’ is the worst word to use to describe a body part. Although, if I was wearing Pure Seduction and flashed you my crooked foot, I’m sure I would melt your heart.
first!
you’re starting in on the questions! this will take you a while. but oh how i love your answers. ha, pure seduction. i think i own a sample of it. i wish it made me a sassy seducer?
You’re pretty famous is people start saying first as a comment.
Also I think I want to do a question post.
Also also, I seriously wonder where I got that question from.
Ugh, the “c-word.” Not one of my favorites, either. Also on the list: moist, hurtle, and plump. Oh, and most VS fragrances have pretty embarrassing names– hello, Love Spell?
Am I nuts to have read this post thrice in a row trying to “find the great TWSS line!” ?
You have a lot of perfume! I have always wanted a “signature scent” like my aunt. She has worn the same perfume for years and years and years and it’s her smell!!
Right now I’m loving a scent that I believe has been around awhile, Babydoll by Yves Saint Laurent, it’s kinda strong but I love it!
Yay! I have time to read you again… for about two seconds.
Sassafras is a great word. Moist is not.
And I despise the term tubesteak. It makes me think of intestines and tapeworms. Ew.
A word alone (generally) means nothing to me. It’s how a group of them is put together that matters. I appreciate “Sardonyx” very much though.
Excellent word selections. I too love the word soliloquy. And superfluous? Is definitely one of my all time favorites. Werd up on your sexcellent words, lady!
My right foot is also mad deformed. I was helping my aunt make dinner one night many, many moons ago and while rinsing out the food processor, accidentally dropped the blade. No big deal, right? Picked it up and kept about my duties. Until I realized that I’d dropped it on my foot (actually, I knew it’d bumped my foot, but thought it just tapped it and then hit the floor. wrong.) At any rate, it wasn’t until I looked down to see the profuse bleeding that I realized I had sliced my foot TOTALLY OPEN and later learned that I’d severed (read: destroyed, disintegrated, shredded) some rather important tendons. The surgical scars on my foot are out of control. Quite the fishing expedition they had to go on to find the remains of all that ligament and such. Took them 8 hours in surgery to put my foot back together.
True story. You’re enthralled, I know. (I also like the word enthralled.)
k, happy weekend, bye!
[...] another day. You guys like my ploppy bird? I was thinking about words that I enjoy saying thanks to Brandy, and I gotta go with plop as one of them. I love the way it just lets my mouth flop and make noises [...]
Just delurking…
the worm? oh dearie
well i have a perfume called unforgiveable woman. just as bad maybe? lol
Mmmmmmm… perfume wearing crooked foot girl. Hottttttt.
j/k. Bravo to you for the blogging honesty. I doubt I could be so brave…
My fave word? Exacerbation. it sounds so dirty, but it’s not
I love it!
My daughter (age 10) has the same Pure Seduction perfume! I remember when we smelled it together and she loved it and begged me to buy it for her for “special” occasions. I remember reading the name and gasping, but then buying it for her anyway because it does smell good.
I love reading these answers because I bet they are things you would never think to blog about unless asked!
I love that you have a perfume named Pure Seduction, I think every girl could use some of that. And for the “c” word, so not my favorite it makes me cringe in fact as does “munch” for some reason that word is so unattractive no matter how you say it.
Re: tube steaks- the Principal of my school uses that term ALL THE TIME. For hot dogs. Over the PA system.
Shudder.
tube steak? I didn’t know steaks came in a tube like form. I’m going to google this now!
Okay. I’m trying to stop laughing long enough to type this (obviously, I’m doing quite well.) You BROKE your FOOT *attempting* to do the WORM?! Omigosh. That is possibly the funniest sentence ever constructed in the English language. That takes talent. Pure, unadulterated talent.
What exactly is a tube steak?
And is there a video of this worm accident?
brookem- I love that you firsted. And I think that there should be a perfume called ’sassy seducer’. I would buy it.
lfar- I was curious where that question came from too. As for the question post- do it.
Megan- Moist really gets me too. I just think of stepping on a wet sponge. And then vomit a little in my mouth.
aRbit- Clue- it’s in the paragraph describing why I like words…
Amber- I always wanted a signature scent too but then realized my bi-polar personality wouldn’t allow it.
PP- Sassafras. I’m going to have to look that one up. And you mentioned tapeworms and intestines in one sentence. I feel a little gross right now…
Gany- Whooo I like it. That would be an excellent scrabble word.
cdp- Seriously? My foot was twitching in pain reading that. You poor girl!! And I have to say that I was enthralled (and I also love that word).
Bungi- Hi!
Mez- I know. Sigh.
Michelle- Nice!! Lol, I think everyone needs to own that one.
Geekhiker- Hey, are you mocking my foot?
littlespoon- whoo, good choice too!!
Tori- Thanks! I like it because it doesn’t stay strong and just smells… nice. IT’s not really complicated.
Semichrmd- Munch? Really?? I sort of like that word.
Nancy- Well, you know what I think about this since I emailed you…
Julie- Oh I don’t think they come in tubes, I think they are just trying to make hot dogs sound fancy.
qu33nbee- Oh dear lord… I’m glad you are laughing because telling the doctor how I hurt it was … mortifying!! Sometimes I’m a fool.
lawyerish- a tube steak is a fancy way of saying hot dog. Though the truly classless (like myself) sometimes refer to it in regards to a penis. As for the video… none exists. Just friends who witnessed it who say that the first thing that hit the ground was my head. Which, makes no sense. But then neither does the idea of me doing the worm in the first place.
[...] – also recently noted by Steph – and kind of adore her! Anyhow, so one of her most recent post answers “What was your first kiss like?” Which got me thinking about my own noteworthy [...]
I Luuuurve your word list! (yes, I just said “lurve”). I just wanted to throw in a few more contenders: Defenestration (my all-time favourite word), vindictive, vendetta (I like V-words), onamonapoea, and tincture.
I have a multitude of friends who hate the word “moist,” particularly in connection with the word “sponge.” I had no idea this was a cross-cultural phenominon.
Also, your opinion of the C-word might change if you check out the intro to “C*nt: A Declaration of Independence” by Inga Muscio (in the actual title, it’s spelled in its entirety). Gave me a verrry interesting take on the word, and now I kinda like it.
Well, now you know. You did not miss your calling as a professional dancer of the worm.