All I want for Christmas is world peace new shoes
November 27, 2007
Posted by brandy in confession of the day, holidays, i complain because I care, i may write about the west wing forever, secrets, shoes, sometimes i get violent.
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Can I tell you something? If one more person asks me what I want for Christmas I may say a grenade launcher. So I can- wait, I’m not going to finish that sentence. It would be crossing a line. I’m not sure if it’s my cold medication or the fact that I’m just tired, but pondering the destruction I would like to create if one more person asks what they can get me to celebrate the birth of baby J, seems a bit over the top. Even for me.
Here’s the thing. For me, being asked what I want for Christmas is about as enjoyable as getting a pap smear. Because I’m not one of those people who formulates lists of what I want (and yes, the fact that I can easily whip up a list of why I should be Pope but struggle to create a list of things I would like people to BUY FOR ME, hasn’t been lost.). Besides the fact that I don’t have a zillion random ideas off the top of my head, I dislike the part where people judge what you say you DO want. For example:
Well-meaning gift buyer: Brandy, have you given any thought as to what you want for Christmas?
Me: Um no. I guess maybe.. some shoes? Or some books? I could use a new desk lamp…
Well-meaning gift buyer: What’s wrong with the lamp you have now?
Me: Well nothing really. I just think, I could move the one I have to my beside table and then-
Well-meaning gift buyer: What?! That is ridiculous! You are a fool and a scally-wag for even suggesting such a thing! A pox on your house young lady! A POX ON YOUR HOUSE!
Okay, so I exaggerate.
Seriously though, I’m not sure when I stopped really having a list of things I want. It wasn’t as though one snowy Christmas I decided to swallow a boring pill and stop imagining, stop wishing. It just feels like, with each Christmas my list of things that I want that can be bought and wrapped with a pretty ribbon- decreases. Sure, I could say I want anything from my birthday list, but I suspect if I didn’t get a diamond encrusted toothbrush for my birthday I might not be getting it now.
This isn’t to say I don’t want. Oh goodness, I want. I want another hour in everyday so I can sleep-in without guilt. I want to know what to say to those people I don’t know what to say to anymore. I want my cashier at Safeway to look like she’s not going to kill herself if I say I don’t need my milk in a bag. I want to teach a grade 2 class where everyone can tie their own shoes. I want to do nothing without feeling like I should be doing something. I want someone to uncover a lost season of The West Wing. I want rainbows scheduled every Sunday, world peace and ovens to smell less like DEATH and more like gingerbread when they are self-cleaning.
And if you can figure out how to wrap up any of that in a bow, I will stop talking about the grenade launcher. Actually, if you get me the diamond encrusted toothbrush, ( or anything from here) I will stop talking about the grenade launcher.
I promise.
(If my complaint laden post didn’t put you in the Christmas spirit, check out this lovely ditty whipped up by Evans based on the lurking post. The man is my hero.)
Lurk! The heralded blogger laments
On occasion, surfers please comment!
It takes time to write these things,
Don’t always fly by on silent wings.
Lurkers within the blosphere exiled?
Bloggers, lurkers- reconcile!
Joyful all ye who compose,
Comments are an option, I suppose.
Let us all co-exist and rejoice
Praise the medium that gives us a voice!
Wouldn’t it great if you could actually gift someone world peace, in addition to new shoes?!
I want most of the things you want too (I’m sure you can guess which ones, haha).
I must say that I’m with you on the Christmas gift thing. Someone asked me for a list the other day and I refused to give them one. I honestly feel that it takes the fun, surprise and magic out of Christmas by supplying a list. I mean, I tell someone that I want the new book that was released and I get a package wrapped in lovely Barnes & Noble wrapping paper and I feel a little deflated. A completely different feeling than if I received the same package without supplying the giver with the idea. Last year, we decided to do Christmas completely different – no lists, no gift cards – we bought presents for people by actually thinking of what they wanted based on conversations with them through the year (with the exception of the nieces…little kids you don’t want to mess with what you think they may want…they must supply lists). I absolutely loved the looks of happiness (which was really happiness…not the feigned “oh…thanks” look that people sometimes give) we got when they opened their presents. I felt like I really got the Christmas spirit last year because of it.
On another, completely non-Christmas related note, I must tell you about this guy who is my meetings this week. He looks exactly like the guy who plays Professor Lupin!!! I can’t stop staring at him during the meetings. He’s probably thinking I’m crazy, but he seriously looks like Moony! I’m afraid that I’m going to call him Lupin or something the next time he talks to me in the meeting.
Holy crap! I didn’t realize that I wrote that much! Apparently I have very strong feelings about the whole Christmas gift thing.
Yeah I’m not much of a gift person either these days (birthday and Christmas). I just buy stuff for my nieces and nephews. Christmas is all about the kiddies anyways.
Oh but I will always accept Chapters or Shopper’s Drug Mart gift cards. ALWAYS.
I am SO with you on the wanting to do nothing without feeling I should be doing SOMETHING. I mean feeling guilty for wanting to be in my pj’s sitting on my couch when my sock drawer isn’t so tidy is not a good guilt to have. So yeah, if someone could wrap that one up in a bow for me too, I’d be so much obliged.
Somehow once you graduate college your list becomes suddenly practical. I need a new ricecooker, gift cards are nice cause I can’t afford a new suit, boring stuff. And then you forget how to wish for extravagant things because you feel guilty or impractical.
When I get stuck I ask for useful things and if they don’t like it I just hope they give me the receipt too.
Your post reminds me of the one I wrote last year around this time about how my wish list has changed over the years. I’m glad that I don’t have a long list of “things” that I’m longing for….I’m much more excited about experiences. This isn’t totally related, but it makes me think of this quote from Epicurus– “Wealth consists not in having great possessions but in having few wants.”
Hmmmm… what about a diamond encrusted grenade launcher?
Whenever someone asks me what I want, I draw a total and complete blank. So I end up listing practical things. But deep down, all I really want is more time to be out hiking in the mountains.
Awesome post on Indy Bloggers! I love what I’ve read of your writing so far- you have an amazing talent for capturing an emotion. I especially love how you use lists in your descriptions (i.e. things you want, etc.) This sounds way more English class than was intended, but essentially: cool stuff. Thanks for writing.
I have the cursed week-before-Christmas birthday.
Birthday of the joint gifts, if you will, the bane of my existence when I was a kid (when more = better), but not too shabby now when it means that I get biiiig presents I normally wouldn’t (iPods and cameras, oh my!)
The other bad part- double the pressure for creative gift ideas.
Oh, and trust me, it is two billion times worse not to have a self-cleaning over. I had no sense of that until I moved and spent 12 DAMN HOURS cleaning it… and that was with some seriously corrosive stuff.
I want…. people to know me well enough that they don’t have to ASK me what I want! Yes!
Does it mean your getting old when all you want for Christmas are kitchen gadgets? If so I guess I am officially getting old. I am totally with you on the whole list thing, while I like them from other people (ahem…the husband) I can’t seem to bring myself to write a list for MUAH. And can I just say an extra hour of sleep? Well that would be splendid, instead of rolling out of bed 15 mins before I have to be on the train & looking like a hot mess.
I’m in a very similar position. I have no “ideas” for people, and they don’t like it. Ironically, though, I seem to have no problem continually buying things for myself.
I want flea-free animals for Christmas. And magically disappearing poo.
I am glad I am not the only one feeling scrouge-y right now. Bah-humbug
I know it sounds conventional but how about just starting a wish list on Amazon? In fact, I always keep a running list on that so when people ask me that mundane question I point them to it. If I am a gift giver and need ideas I appreciate those sort of things. I want someone to tell me EXACTLY what they want (within monetary reason, that is) and I will get it for them!
I hear you on the gift thing too. I’ve just gotten to where I really don’t care and it bothers me somewhat because I use to really love Christmas.
I like making fantasy lists, i.e. things I will never get, but when people in real life ask me what I want, I never know what to tell them. I’m agnostic so I don’t really care about what the holiday is for. I just love that I get to spend it with the people I love. Well, most of them anyway.
P.S. Your birthday wish list rocks.
I’m the same way, my “list” consists of new bedsheets, a paper shredder, and snow boots. Not very cool or imaginative, pretty much just stuff I need. I guess it’s because I also figure that no one will get me the really cool diamond encrusted stuff, but they’re more likely to get me the boring stuff. And since the boring stuff is what I actually need, I’d rather get that under the tree than a bunch of stuff I don’t want and then have to go out and buy the things I need anyway. Sigh. And I also think self cleansing ovens smell bad, but not as bad as when we had mouse poop in the oven and turned it on. That smelled like dead people and poop.
Would you accept a “Tooth Tunes” brush instead of the diamond encrusted? I might be able to find ya one that plays “Crank that” while ya brush….oh yeah, and I’ll throw in some bootleg Miley Cyrus tixs!
thanks for the shout out!
I can empathize with you as I’ve noticed as I grow older (yikes) I just don’t jhave that giddy-wish-and-want attitude any longer. I want so many things – like you wrote – just not those that can be wrapped up in pretty little boxes with bows – so much of Christmas is lost in translation and so commercialized – having said all of this if I could have some C.L. shoes I think I’d shut up and be happy!
I’m with you. Especially on the food store girl not wanting to kill herself. I also wish mine would finally take of her chipped nailpolish (in orange, the horror), that looks so very wrong.
I don’t know what to put on lists either. I’m having trouble buying for people. I’m not feeling it, and each and every time I go into a store, I buy something for myself. Merry Christmas to ME.
Okay, I’m de-lurking. Nice post on IndieBloggers, Brandy. And here I am only the 24th commenter on this post.
Oh, didn’t you know? We must all shop. That’s how we support the war effort. War? There’s a war? Really? I feel so safe and Christmas-y already. So, buy and be patriotic.
Is it pathetic that, upon glancing at that poem, I immediately put it to the tune of “Hark, The Herald Angels Sing?”
If that WASN’T the intent, it works beautifully, by the way. Though, I assume that was well thought-out.
I have a Christmas card on my fridge that someone sent me last year that says, “All I want is peace on earth… and really cute shoes.” Your title reminded me of that. Best Christmas card ever.
i knew you were exaggerating when you pulled out “scally-wag”- heh.
i can’t come up with a list for gifts either.
i love that poem – hilarious!
and i always say i want money when people ask me. i hate thinking of things too so to avoid annoyance i go for the easy way out.
a pink Kitchen-Aid standing mixer, thanks
and if you find that lost season of the West WIng …
I hate the idea of Christmas “lists” anyway. I feel like I grew out of lists when I realized how much time, money and stress Christmas put on my parents. I’m a grown up, buy me presents if you wish, but I’m not going to TELL people what to spend their hard earned money on; I’d rather they pay their bills on time instead.
Although….you can NEVER have too many lamps…or shoes!
Thank goodness I’m not alone! I’m trying to figure out how I can ask someone to buy me a size 7 sports ankle brace. Because I have dodgy ankles and I need it. And I never seem to have enough cash to get it myself. And this is an easier option.
I WANT A LOST SEASO N OF WEST WING TOO!!!
IS IT IN YOUR HOUSE>>:
I NEED IT>> NEED!!! NOT Want….
Help.
I would settle for a gorgeous sunset every day.
I really enjoyed that litty ditty by Evans.
And what I want for Christmas? Is more days off from work.
Okay, litty = little. Obviously I need some sleep. And typing lessons.
That can be such a frustrating question. However I am getting similar response from my best friend right now. I can’t think of anything to give her. Sigh.
That’s SO true! I wish people would stop asking me too! Next time, I’ll just say a new car. Maybe then they’ll stop asking.
i loved the whole ‘i want’ paragraph!
and i always freeze up when i’m asked what i want. yet somehow when no one cares what i want i have a list 60 feet long.
also, that ode to lurkers? is GENIUS!
NicoleAntoinette- Um… lol, could it be some West Wing?! I’m still re-watching the first season. I have to say, I’m glad Zoe grew out her hair. And I wish that Sam hadn’t of left in Season 4.
Armalicious- Dude, I could talk about this forever, so I understand where you are coming from. First of all, I love, love, LOVE the idea of banning lists. I like the idea of it being a complete surprise. I know what you mean, when you say what you want and you find exactly that- it can be a bit disappointing. I think I may try to introduce this idea to the family. And about Lupin? That makes me giggle. I taught a boy last year who looked EXACTLY like Harry Potter. I even did a double take when I first saw him, he said he was used to people doing it. Apparently people had already told him. Fingers crossed you don’t call out Lupin.
Airam- Ohh Shoppers, how I love thee. You know, they just opened up a new one by my house and I went in and it’s fantastic! Super fancy- fancy. Not like some lame drugstore with bad overhead lighting. They had this huge display of Benefit products and have a million ladies who’s purpose in life is to help you find the perfect perfume. I love that place.
A life uncommon- Yep, it’s a feeling I have frequently. I think (in some weird way) it’s part of the reason that I don’t really mind it when I get really sick with a flu, or if I have to go to the hospital for a lot of blood work or something. Because when you are sick you are not expected, not required, to do anything. Because you are already doing something- trying to get better.
Bre- A new rice cooker? Yep. I could totally be friends with you for saying that’s what you wanted. I got a sandwich maker from my brother a few years ago and I thought that was pretty swell. Far cooler than the lame scarf I got him.
Ally- That’s totally it! And what a great quote. Thanks for sharing it.
geekhiker- A diamond encrusted grenade launcher? You just blew my mind.
Laura- Thanks for your comment! I’m hoping to get more involved in Indie Bloggers, I think it’s such a great site.
PP- 12 hours?? That’s almost a whole season of the West Wing. I will never complain about self cleaning ovens ever again. And I have a friend who has her birthday on Boxing Day. Not fun she says. And I can understand that. Maybe you should just pick some random day in July and have a part of your birthday then. I’m thinking of having two birthdays next year- my real one in August and my 6 month one in February. I always wanted a winter birthday. Okay, that’s not true. But I’m going to try and convince people I did.
Alyndabear- Whoo that’s good!! I’m going to do that the next time someone asks me what I want Ie. ” Don’t you know me well enough to know?”. Guilt. That is going to be my secret weapon this holiday season!
Semichrmd- An extra hour of sleep would make a lot of difference in my life. And can I just say, I like the term ‘hot mess’??
justrun- That’s what makes me giggle. I can go to a store and buy myself a new book, or new sweater or a new pair of mittens but it never occurs to me that those things I could have said I wanted and had someone else buy for me.Oy.
Valerie- Fingers crossed on that one. But I suggest having a back-up wish list too
Anne- Maybe if you start buying me presents you will get more into the Christmas spirit? Just a suggestion…
Trinity2- Maybe I should do that. At the very least it will be a fun way to spend an hour and sometimes when I’m looking at so many things I want, I end up feeling excited because I forget I don’t actually have them. This is why I’m excellent at window shopping.
pam- How do we get that holiday excitement back I wonder?
The Lisa Show- Thanks! My birthday list is always a fantasy list. Then my mom calls and asks what I REALLY want and I end up saying something like, ‘ a sweater’. And then I sigh because what I really want is a pony.
bastet3- Two things 1) After reading your comment now I want a paper shredder. I don’t need one, but I just like the sound they make and 2) While subbing the other day, I saw the book your blog is named after and immediately thought of you!
Evans- I have no idea what a tooth tunes toothbrush is. I’m going to have to do some research. And can I just say, out of all the commentors, you are always the one most likely to throw in a reference to a young pop idol? I want you to know that’s how I’m beginning to know you as. Evans, the guy with the encyclopedic knowledge of Hillary Duff et al. And that little thought is my Christmas gift to you.
PE- Yep. I just read the latest Instyle with Natalie Portman on the cover and on the last page Angie Harmon talks about CL shoes and how as soon as there are new ones, the people at Macy’s know just to box up a pair for her. Wouldn’t that be lovely?
brookem- Thank you! Why is it that the cashier I always get has the worst nails ever? I’m not spending 3 hours getting ready before I leave the house everyday, but if I had a job where I knew people would be looking at my hands frequently, I wouldn’t have nails that looked like they had been chewed by hungry rabbits. Who can we write a letter to about this?
Gail- Thanks for stopping by! I’m Canadian so my excuse is I just like shopping for other people because I can sneak things in for myself and then not feel guilty.
abbersnail- Yep, that was his intent. He actually started the beginning of it in the comments found in the lurking post and then I asked him to write more (because with a gift like that, you want to see him put to to work) and he did. And then it felt very important to share it with all of you!
Beth- Ha! That made me laugh. Apparently I’m not alone on this world peace/shoe deal. Good to know!
Sizzle- Truth be told, I was called a scallywag recently, but not about this gift giving bit. It was even more bizarre because the person who said it to me was British. I felt like I was in a lovely British soap opera for a few minutes.
Michelle- See, my family refuses money, they want me to unwrap things. This also explains why ‘gift cards’ aren’t high on their list of things to give either. I sort of understand that, I like the idea of people unwrapping the gifts I give them. But on the other hand, I’d rather them open an envelope and get something they WANT than unwrap a present and get something they don’t.
Kathryn- Ohh that’s a fun one. Pink you say? I don’t think I’ve seen the pink ones. I saw green at the store the other day and thought it was pretty cute.
Mel- Yep, I’m not sure what it is about lamps. I have a strange love for lamps. And shoes. But asking someone to get you shoes is tricky.
Ames- I completely get that. I had a friend who really wanted this specific type of electric toothbrush and everyone kept saying that was a silly gift. What’s silly if that’s what you want?? Fingers crossed you get your brace!
mansuetude- If it was in my house, why would I be asking for it?
Dear God I need to get better at answering comments on time…
Gany- Over a diamond encrusted toothbrush? Are you crazy??
Miriam D- Hey, I sort of liked litty ditty, it sounded cute! And if you figure out a way to get paid for getting days off, please let me know because I think I will want that too!
Cheryl- I suppose that’s the way to think of it. I hate it when people don’t know what they want and can’t give me any ideas. I should think of the other people instead of how frustrated I am….
DG- Perhaps say a ‘diamond encrusted car’ and see what happens…
libby- Yep, Evans was a genius with his lurkers song. He has a funny blog too!