Sweater vests, E.T. & douchebags November 18, 2007
Posted by brandy in Wednesday nights make me frisky, blogs, disappointment, friends, genius, happiness, i am slowly going crazy, i hurt, lists, martinis make the world make sense, movies, people i like, proof i attract crazy, seriously, soapbox, tequila consequences, top 10, what the hell, youth.trackback
Sooooooo it’s been a ________ week. (Insert whatever word you want in there, I have a situation that would fit). A happy week? Sure, I got a cupcake. A sad week? Yep, that works too. A busy week? Check. A strange week? That fits. A memorable week? Absolutely. Productive? Of course. Lazy? Ohhh yes. There were moments of sloth-like behavior that shocked even me.
With such a week of ups and downs, highs and lows, comes a few memorable lines uttered by yours truly. None of these little chestnuts were uttered before last week and I’m pretty sure I will never say them again. (Well, I may say #3 again. If I ever see the douche bag). Let my list love begin!
1. ” I’m sorry I’m crabby, I can’t find my favourite sweater vest”. Ohhh yes. And the second the words left my lips I burst into laughter because I’m not sure which is worse- 1) being crabby over a missing sweater vest or 2) realizing that you have a FAVOURITE sweater vest. Also, I’m saying crabby now? When did that start? I’m thisclose to saying ’slacks’. I can FEEL IT.
2. “He was humming E.T”. It was a game night extravaganza earlier this week, and I witnessed one of the funniest things in the history of all game playing HISTORY. While playing Pop 5 (a better, more fun version of cranium) a guy attempted to hum “E.T”. In case you are fuzzy on what that entails (and I’m still a little fuzzy and I was there), the guy basically said “Eliotttttttt” with his mouth closed. I dare you to not try to do the same thing right now. Dare you.
3. “Of course I didn’t call you a douche bag. I wouldn’t say that to a stranger”. I’m not sure if it makes it better or worse to say that I shrieked this while on the phone. With a stranger. Named Aaron who gave my friend full-on creep treatment all evening (full on creep treatment= continuous staring and calling of name while she was out on the dance floor). Who had previously hung up on me. Is the story far longer than this? Absolutely. Is it worth sharing here and have all of you question my judgment at 3am? Not today. (But can I just say anyone who calls back to clarify that they hung up on you because they believed you called them a douche bag is in fact, a douche bag? Okay D-cat, I’m done with it. I promise. I promise.)
4. “No… I didn’t do the tequila shot alone. There was a guy…. at the bar…. he bought them” Does this one need explaining? But truth be told, there’s no way I’m sitting at a bar doing shots by myself. That’s not my style. And honestly, tequila isn’t a shot to do alone. It’s a social shot. Which is probably why we did more than one. Which is probably why I spent the better part of the next day watching daytime television (Dr. Phil! What is going to happen with that girl who went to the Middle East to hook up with the guy she met on Myspace? I’m hooked!), making sad face at my friend who suggested doing anything other than sitting on furniture complaining about how I hurt.
5. “Why aren’t more people wearing fur hats?” Watch American Gangster and tell me that you don’t wonder the same thing.
6. “I miss saying ‘cowabunga’.” Ditto the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie.
7. “Hold on- I’m reading the review on my favourite Babysitter Club Super Special” Um yeah. So, I mentioned it briefly at the end of my previous post but the BSC Headquarters blog might just be the greatest thing in the entire world, nay, in the entire universe. I read the whole blog in two days. Is that stalkerish? Perhaps. But if if reading EVERY SINGLE WORD ever typed at that blog makes me a stalker, then … well I have nothing to follow that. I’m just a stalker.
8. “Ahhh ha! That guy was shirtless because he was a stripper!”- Apparently men who walk around clubs without shirts are strippers and not just guys who are too hot for a shirt. This took awhile for me to understand. (My defense? It was late. Tequila had been consumed. I was dancing with my eyes closed to Britney Spears. ‘Nuff said?)
9. “He doesn’t have a mullet, it’s just longish. In the back. Middle part of the back.” In defense of someone who does not have a mullet, despite all the raging arguments to the contrary.
10. “Wait, you are an 8 year old boy and you are getting a bellybutton ring? Really?” Yep it’s true. I know an 8 year old boy getting a belly button piercing. I’m not sure what part strikes me most odd, 1) that he’s 8 years old, 2) that he’s a boy or 3) that I had to cover my mouth from giggling when he told me because he was SO PROUD. (But I suppose any boy who can convince his mom that a belly button ring is the right choice at his stage in life deserves to be a little smug).
I’m ready for a new week. Oh and one last (serious) note- I watched “Sicko” this weekend and it made me happy that I live in coldest freaking country in the world Canada. Although, Norway looks pretty sweet too.
SO many things I could say here… but the belly ring is a total WTF moment. Who let’s an 8 year old pierce their belly button?? I wasn’t allowed to pierce my ears until I was 12!
Tequila, like Jag (straight Jag, not a Jager-bomb) is absolutely a social shot. Whether or not you necessarily know the person you’re shooting with is just minor details. Hey - you’re at a bar!
I never got to watch Sicko. Wanted to but it was no longer in the theatres when I got back. Yay or nay?
that sounds like the definition of a mullet, my friend.
Dude, I love BSC Headquarters - I read it obsessively!
I saw “Sicko” on my Oregon trip with one of your fellow Canadians. And I was truly jealous of her.
And the 8-year old with the bellybutton ring? Scary…
does your sweater vest have sleeves? just checking… lol.
Sweater vest? I think I broke up with a boy in high school just because I saw him wearing one! And to have more than one? I’m a bit afraid it won’t be long before you’re reaching for some high waisted, tapered leg mom jeans
Glad you reminded me about Sicko….still need to see that one.
Your memory impresses me. I don’t know how you keep track of the things you say. I can hardly remember something I said 15 minutes ago. I can debunk your shirtless theory if you’re interested. I want to see Sicko really bad.
number 4 is all too familiar
i said slacks this weekend! who am i, really? clearly ive been hanging around my grandparents quite a lot. i love that you have a sweater vest, and that you called that dude a douchebag. which immediately made me think of spencer, and the hills, that’s on in t minus 14 and a half hours, but who’s counting?
and… an 8 year old BOY getting a belly button ring?! woa woa woa. i have no words.
Ahhh, there is so much I want to comment on, but all I can think of is: “Too hot for a shirt” OR “Too HOT for a shirt” Which is it?
P.S. Slacks are cool. Especially with sweater vests.
You can’t be in denial when it comes to a mullet - and by the way - I did actually try to do the Elllioootttt thing with my mouth closed…yeah…I’m that kind of dork…oh..and that guy? Total douche bag!
Shhhesh! I’m speechless for the first time in my life.
Jillian
I love that you excuse yourself for being crabby. I do that too. Also, I don’t like tequila shots– that doesn’t stop me from doing them.
I could probably comment on each one of these things, haha. I love that you remembered all of these. I’ll leave it commenting on my favorite: I miss saying Cowabunga too!
Seriously about the 8 year old boy getting a belly button ring? My mom let my brother dye his hair blue in his rebellious phase when he was around 11, which everyone thought was extremely laid back of her, but at least that grew out!
I love that you are watching Dr. Phil and that middle east man/girl. I happened to catch the first one, so I tivoed the rest. I am watching it with my 9 year old daughter and at commercial breaks I keep telling her that if I ever catch her talking to someone I don’t know on the computer I will kill her. I think the next part will sufficiently scare her from men on the internet because it looks like that guy is no good at all.
you were totally doing tequila shots by yourself at the bar to get over the fact that you a. have a favourite sweater vest and b. were bummed about not finding it and c. that you were able to justify a mullet
slacks — that word makes me roll on teh floor with laughter (and that’s not a good thing for me right now, given the neck condition …
Carrie- Yay on Sicko. I mean, it kind of drags in the middle but it makes you feel fantastic to be Canadian. As for the piercing… yeah. I didn’t get my ears pierced until I was in grade 9 and my parents were out of town. And now you know the most rebellious act of my upbringing.
sizzlesays- Man. Really?? I like to think it’s just … a bit longer in one area. Mullet is such a dirty word.
Bre- AND YOU NEVER TOLD ME ABOUT IT?! Bre, I feel like you just told me you know the secret to everlasting shiny hair and held out on me. When it comes to the BSC, always tell me what you know. Promise?
geekhiker- See, 8 year olds getting belly button rings are scary, but I thought Sicko was scary too. Just for entirely different reasons.
~t~- Heeee-larious.Oh, the olden days. Hey, bring mittens when you come. I’m thinking we should build a snow man. Oh, and I also found an excellent drink recipe we will have to try out. Hooray!
Ally- Hey lady! I’m taking a stand in defense of the sweater vest. They aren’t all boring and ugly. Some of them are even quite cute (like mine. That’s lost). When I find this dream sweater vest I should take a picture of it and you will have to eat your sweater vest hating words. Eat them, I say!
egan- When someone tells you he’s going to get a bellybutton ring, you remember it. And this may sound nerdy, but when out with my friends, we’ve always kept track of the little gems we say by writing them down on a napkin. Weird? Possibly. But I have friends who have envelopes filled with napkins that have scrawled on them the most genius things you will ever read. Also, sicko? Watch it. Honestly. I think it should be mandatory viewing for every American.
appletini- Ahh so the girl with the love for appletini’s also has a love for tequila?! Interesting…..
brookem- hills day! hooray! Maybe Airam will disagree but I think sweater vests really jazz up a teaching outfit. Okay now I’m giggling because I’m talking about sweater vest AND said ‘jazz up’. I’m blaming my grandpops for all this talk. And the 8 year old going to get the belly button ring? Yeah. I have no words. (But have to admit, I was so psyched when he told me because I was excited at sharing this piece of news.)
justrun- Ha! Good point. I think he fell under ‘too hot for the shirt’, not ‘too HOT for the shirt’. Although, he could have been cute, it’s all a bit hazy. (Also, glad you are down with the ’slacks’ lingo. I know who I’m confessing to when the word finally comes out).
PE- Now just imagine doing “Elllioottttttt” with your mouth closed for close to a minute. And then imagine being in AWE that your team members couldn’t figure it out. Oh I laughed so hard.
Jillian- It’s the belly button ring that did it, isn’t? Yeah, I can’t blame you. Words were hard to find when that was gem was discovered.
Clearlykels- I loved your comment. It reminded me so much of one my friends. It’s only when she’ s doing tequila that I know she should no longer be drinking.
Jamie- Maybe we should just bring cowabunga back?!
Tori- Yeah the bellybutton ring is so … insane. I really don’t have other words to describe it. As for that Dr. Phil, oh man. I’m so hooked on that. I drove my one friend crazy talking about it after the show was over. Because seriously! How scary would that be for her family when they’ve heard him be so mean to her?? I can’t wait to see the next installment when she’s back in America talking about what happened to her over there. Any idea when that’s on?! (Oh, and good idea watching it with your daughter. I think that would scare anyone thinking about talking to internet strangers and thinking of moving to be with them)
Kathryn- Damn. You got me. And it wasn’t justifying a mullet it’s arguing it’s existence. Doesn’t a mullet have to be MUCH longer at one part to classify it as a ‘tail’ that is necessary for a mullet to exist?!
… and yes, my bf and are were trying to hum Eliotttttt for about ten minutes tonight. ‘Nuff said?
…bumpy week… I like this ability to write about almost everything with humor.
The 8 year old who’s getting a belly ring probably has a mommy with a tongue ring and a daddy with a lip ring and eye brow ring. Because I can’t think of any other parent that would allow that. I dunno. Why can’t kids just be *shocker* kids???
This post was utterly brilliant. Quote of the day bonanza! And your weekend sounds a hell of a lot like mine…
I definitely want to see a photo!
Wow - the 8 year old wanting a belly ring really surprised me. No WONDER you are ready for a new week!! Thanks for keeping us all entertained so well. Your ability to find funny in it all is awesome.
Soooooooo much more exciting than my week. I got my belly button ring in kindergarten. Why is it taking kids so long these days?
watching Sicko made me want to move to Canada badly. Is it really like that there?
i ADORED the bsc. seriously. i used to be all like “i want to be a librarian when i grow up so that I can read NEW bsc books first when they come in allll dayyy long”
i was such a douche.
I feel you saved the weirdest utterance for last. An 8 year old boy with a naval piercing… he’s either going to grow up to have severe issues or to be severely fabulous.
I can’t wait to see Sicko and am also anticipating dancing with my eyes closed to Britney next weekend (I’m going to forego tequila shots though, I’ve seen photos of me after drinking those)!
I’ve had one heck of a strange week, too! And it’s not even over yet!
(And yes, I totally did the ET thing, too. And am also guilty of stalking the BSC blog. We are true nerds, my friend.)
He’s getting his belly button pierced?
And he’s a boy?
I can’t even fathom a series of events that might lead to that.
seriously? an 8 year old boy getting a bellybutton ring? this is the strangest thing i’ve heard all week. and what parent would allow that!?
and a babysitter’s club blog? did i hear you correctly? i must check it out.
Yes…I have had a love for tequila even before the martinis. However, after this weekend, I don’t think I am going to love it so much anymore
i am so all over the babysitters club blog. i was running out of things to do while procrastinating!
I love the word ‘douche-bag’ but is it usually brought out of storage for a particularly fraught situation, like the ‘C’ word? I want to work myself up into a rage just so I can should it at somebody!
Also - EIGHT YEARS OLD? NAVEL PIERCING? Scream!
Katrin- This made me giggle. I have one friend who I’m still talking about it with (and we still try to do ‘elliotttt’ on the phone to see if there is ANY WAY it makes sense, and I have one friend who was there who doesn’t even remember it happening. Which makes me sad for her because it really was the highlight of my night (which makes her sad for me…
Gany- Thanks! And I think ‘bumpy’ fits quite nicely…
Airam- I blame Bratz dolls. And parents. And media. But mostly those dolls.
PP- I know! That’s what I thought when I read your post…
Ally- I’m still looking for the blasted thing. I think it’s not even that I can’t find my FAVOURITE sweater vest, now I’m just annoyed that I can’t find something that I know I have. I hate that feeling.
Desiree- Thanks friend! I thought the belly button incident had to be shared. I’ve told every single person I know because I’m pretty sure it doesn’t get weirder than that.
MC- Do you have a stud, or is it a pretty one with a butterfly ornament on it like Britney Spears? Dear God. Why do I know what kind of belly button ring she has yet I can hardly remember my phone number?
DG- Honestly? I found the movie pretty realistic. I cannot fathom having to pay for a surgery, or even to visit a doctor. That just… doesn’t make sense to me at all. It shocks me so much that the American population doesn’t have universal health care that I think I want to write something about it.
Libby- Dude. My mom asked me what my ‘biggest dream was’ and I said ‘to be locked in the bookstore over night so I could read every book’. I shit you not. She wrote it in my ’school day treasures book’ because she thought it was so weird. Why wouldn’t I just get them from the library? And at 8 years old did I think I was going to be able to read every book in one night?
Chica- Sicko is brilliant. As for your next week of dancing? I look forward to hearing all about it!
Alyndabear- What?! Did everyone know about the BSC website except me? Dear lord. Something like that needs to shouted from the mountain tops. Or at least shared.
Peter- Sooooo does that mean you didn’t get one for your birthday?
michelle- Yeah, I think about it and still giggle. But apparently guys are getting belly button rings. Two guys I went to highschool apparently have them, and both of them have girlfriends who love them. I think I’m in the slow group when it comes to men and belly button rings.
appletini- I completely, completely understand.
k- Isn’t it bloody fantastic?!
Wondy- I get that, I’m just getting into ‘douchebag’. I’m so late with stuff like that. I just stopped chanting the whole ‘you’re rubber I’m glue’ bit, like 2 months ago. Okay, 3 max.
What is BSC Headquarters about?
Thomas- Just the greatest band of 12 year old babysitters ever.