Spit and Polish October 22, 2007
Posted by brandy in cow-tipping, happiness, life lesson, shoes, this is where I grew up.trackback
I grew up in the country. I grew up cleaning horse stalls and driving tractors. I grew up with experience in cow-tipping, sacking oats, building forts (although even at an early age, I showed amazing promise- my forts always had a ‘parlour’) and mixing feed pails. I grew up having my grandpa show me the right way to spit. I grew up knowing the difference between hay and straw. Between a foal and a filly.
But then, life happened, my parents divorced and I moved into the city. Suddenly, I found myself spending more time thinking about my shoes than horse shoes. I developed a love for expensive perfume, A-line skirts, and glossy magazines with complicated hairstyles. I suddenly owned gadgets. I learned the difference between Manolo and Loboutin. Between sushi and sashimi.
And you know what? It was bloody fantastic. Moving to the city allowed me to meet new friends, get a university degree and develop a strange love affair with public transportation (this was due mostly to a broken foot that prevented me from driving, but still. I have much love for public transportation and how they rescued me in my time of need). I became polished. I learned about men and martinis, double feature movie days and just what kind of guy can pull off lipstick and skinny jeans (a very confident man, in case you were wondering).
I hadn’t realized how much I missed my old ways until lately. I’m house sitting for people who live in country. Each day I throw on whatever clothes I find on the floor, latch the leash on the dog (who. is. adorable. An overweight bulldog named Sunny. How can she not be fantastic?) and take her out wandering. We take long walks through the forest. I smell damp earth and the end of summers flowers. I see squirrels, rabbits and the occasional deer. I leave my ipod inside and instead listen to rain falling, branches snapping, the crunch of leaves under my own foot. I look up and see the sky. Out here I am not polished. I find twigs in my hair, mud streaked on my cheek, dirt under my nails. And I love it.
Out here I lose my way. There is no building to provide a trusted landmark. No street signs, no man-made compass. I trust myself to fall over tree trunks, stumble over hidden roots, to be scared of a strange noise and run in the other direction. I always find my way home.
And once I’m inside, I use soap to erase the smudges left by Mother Nature on my cheek. I shower and dress and head out the door to meet friends for sushi. And if I’m lucky? I find a twig left in my hair, or a leaf in my shoe to remind me of where I was. Because whoever said ‘it doesn’t matter where you came from, it only matters where you are going’ was wrong. It does matter where you come from. Because remembering where you started let’s you see how far you’ve come.
I’m guess I’m just learning that whether I’m wearing the rubber boots I grew up in or tall girl shoes I’ve grown to love, I will always know how to drive a tractor.
I hope I never forget.
Lovely. You’re such a good writer that I momentarily felt transformed to the steps behind the house I bought right out of college. It was on several acres in horse country, and after work each day, I put on shorts and took the dogs out for an hour, just sitting on the steps and soaking in the sun and beauty of nature.
And every time I go to my grandparents’ farm I wonder why I don’t more often. In the city it’s so easy to fail to appreciate the splendor of nature. I’m glad you’re having a chance to soak it all in. Enjoy!
Perfect, this story tells so much about you in glimpses. I think it’s important to keep these feelings close to you. Hell, I blogged about climbing trees today.
Our past lives is what defines who we are today. I grew up in a heavily wooded suburb and still always appreciate a stroll through the woods. Getting dirty is what it’s all about.
I want to see you with a twig in your hair. Great entry Brandy.
It is great to know that there is always someplace you can go to regain that sense of home. I am from a small town, and even though I frantically wanted to escape, and have been gone for many years now, there is something special in the air when I return.
I hope i don’t forget too. My past has indeed contributed to who i am now… I love my farm vacations…
What a great post! I can relate to it in this way–I grew up on a 25 acre farm in rural Virginia, and left for the city when I married years ago. I have come to love city life, and I’m not sure I could go back to country living. But your post gives me hope that maybe, someday, I could go back.
What a great post. I really enjoyed this, and, like Egan said, this tells so much about you. Oh, and also ditto to what he said about our past defining who we are today. I liked his comment and I say ditto to it all.
And the other thing? I know you will remember the episode of SATC where Miranda and Steve go on their “honeymoon” in the middle of the woods. And she has no cell reception, no tv, none of the usual stuff she’s used to. And at first she hates it, and then, she begins to appreciate it. Ha, and I still remember when they put on the music that is in the room, and it’s something like, “Sounds of Nature” with some loons and nature-esque motif in the background.
Yeah, I guess I’m ready for the SATC movie more than I realize.
….um… because this post reminded me of that episode a spec. I don’t normally just bust out SATC references to iall posts that I read. But then again, maybe I should. It can always go back to SATC, can it not?
I saw a dude in lippy and skinny jeans this weekend. And I thought he pulled it off quite well.
I agree - I find there is nothing more grounding than returning to my roots. In my case it was on the Southern Coast of Victoria in Australia. Small town, clean beaches, clean air. I still visit regularly and am grateful for the retreat from the insanity of the city. I still love the city life, but the beach, the air, my family and the big sky is great city therapy.
Good country air. Nothing quite like it.
The only lipstick or tight jeans a man should be pulling off is if it comes off a woman.
Sounds like you are enjoying your house/dog sitting adventures!
I am totally and completely a city kid at heart. Born, raised and reside. I do love the solitude and the wonder of nature, but really only in small doses. My guess is that after a week of house sitting in the country, I would be pulling my hair out and rushing to get back home. But I would certainly enjoy it for a while, and your little break sounds really nice!
I love that you have a cow-tipping tag and your continued use of tall girl shoes. In my house I wear big girl party dresses, you know when I have to get dressed up.
I had a very similar experience, and I completely understand. I miss the quiet, the way the air has a snap to it. I hope I never forget how to exist in a place where entertainment has to be invented, rather than merely sought out.
This was lovely, and made me very homesick!
I’ve never been nature girl - but I sure do enjoy how lovely it is!
i’m really stuck on wanting a bulldog as a pet.
great post!
Are you me?? I also grew up in a small town (not on a farm, but knowing of farm-stuff) and now live in, and love the city. But, I do take pride now in knowing where I came from (that has taken a LONG time). I was horrified the other day when my 3-year old saw a horse and called it a cow (what??? your mother is from small-town, AB; you NEED to know the difference).
I also love my tall-girl shoes, but wouldn’t mind saddling up a horse now and then and pick twigs out of my hair…
how beautiful, i’ve always loved the country. but having come from the city, i most definitely don’t have experience like you do! you’re quite amazing, really
And there’s no way you’ll ever forget to drive a tractor!
What a great post! My grandparents lived out in the country and I always found it amazing at how I quickly I left the fast pace of the city behind once I caught a breath of that fresh air. Some of my favorite memories are of me and my grandmother sitting out on the porch (in my PJs) and watching the sun go down. I would give anything to experience that once again.
What a beautiful post. I’m just the opposite. I grew up a ‘town kid’ and in my 20’s married a farmer. I’ve raised my four children on a farm and now have a hard time those days when I have to brave the ‘big city’ to go shopping. When I first moved out here I was scared and worried about the quiet and the darkness. I needed to be able to see the lights of the nearby town shining on the horizon to make me feel safe. Now? We built a house further into the wilderness about three years ago and I love it. I can no longer see the lights of town and it is just the way I like it. I am comforted by stepping out of the house on a crisp fall night and letting my pups run without fence or leash or fear of a car or a neighbor hurting them. I can look up and see the northern lights or the blackest sky full of stars. You’ll never get me to go back to town…
Ally- I know what you mean. Sometimes when I’m out here I think that ‘why am I not doing more out here?’. I hate to say it, but I think, I think sometimes I forget that I CAN go out to the forest. I can go see horses, I can go lay on a hay bale and find a constellation that looks like a shoe (there is one, I promise). I’m working on trying to remember that such times are possible. That I don’t have to stay in and pretend to care about the bachelor. Because honestly, I don’t.
egan- I’m glad you appreciate. I was almost going to blog about how I went 8 shades of crazy searching for an integral part of my halloween costume, but this felt more… ’share-worthy’. And I like the idea of you climbing trees, I hope you found one. Or at least, are seriously scouting for the perfect one to start the climb.
PP- Yep, that’s it. It’s the idea that you are returning to a different time. Not that it is better, but it’s different. And sometimes a change of scenery is all you need to recharge the batteries.
Bungi- Yep, a farm vacation sometimes is the way to go. Although, I have to say a ‘tropical vacation’ sounds pretty good today too.
Diane Mandy- 25 acres? That’s a perfect amount. As for country living, I’m not sure I could go back to it full time. I think, I think at this point in my life I’m a bit addicted to the hum that you hear living in the city. Although, I like to think that I will always appreciate country lifef and will marry a man who can provide me with a country home, complete with all the gadgets that keep my city life running so well.
brookem- Don’t worry, I knew where you were going with the SATC. Although, now I’m thinking my return to country life is sort of lame since I have no Steve who wants to spend every waking moment having sex with me. Le sigh. I will console myself with waffles and long walks with Sunny.
Jacinta- I agree! Although, now I’m thinking my country childhood was ripped off. There were no beaches! I’m jealous.
Aaron- Lipstick maybe, but I have to say, I’ve seen some men working tight jeans and have had nothing to complain about.
AM- I understand that. I sometimes get fleeting moments of ‘what am I supposed to be doing now? Why is it so quiet??” the quiet is what freaks me out the most. And the notion that once you are in the country you are supposed to be really excited at the idea of baking a lot. Which hasn’t happened. I’ve been drinking diet rootbeer and eating boxes of oranges.
Anne- Yep, the cow-tipping tag makes me giggle too. And it reminds me of Sweet Home Alabama when Reese Witherspoons character is taking the heat for tipping a cow and she yells out ‘i can’t tip one by myself’, because it’s true. It’s a two- person activity. At least. Depending on the cow.
abbernsail- That’s it! I find that being out here really makes me spend more time deciding what I want to do. They of course have tv, internet, ipods, wii, playstation, gamecube… but I find that my favourite activity is sitting by the fireplace reading a book. I understand now why many people move to the country when they retire.
Bre- I don’t think ‘country living’ is for everyone, but I do think everyone can get something out of being in the country. It’s a lot more relaxed, that’s for sure!!
sizzle- I used to have one, they are a riot. If you don’t mind some slobber and snoring, they are great. (I suppose one could make the same argument for many men)
Teri- Eek! The cow/horse thing needs to be remedied! It’s funny, you don’t realize how much you know until you are back in the environment that taught you what you DO know.
Michelle- I hope I don’t forget how, i think my father would be extremely disappointed. Although, working the bucket might cause me a bit of a challenge, I’m sure I would get it. And trust me- if you can work an ipod/blackberry/whatever the newest gadget is, you can drive a tractor. I promise.
Pam- I think that’s what I’m noticing too, how quickly it is to go from city to country, country to city and find yourself deeply immersed in one, forgetting completely about the other. I like it!
Great post. I’m a hick who sometimes feels a bit trapped in this city.
Sue- Lovely! It’s funny how where we are can be so different from where we thought we would be. I definitely understand how the country can appeal to a person- the idea of not needing fences, or having to worry about cars is a bonus. And I appreciate the quiet. I’m still working on appreciating the quiet at night, but during the day I do love it. Funny story, I was taking Sunny for a walk last night and it was dark. Like, pitch black. There are so many deer/bears around here and I only had the the tiniest flash light. Sunny the dog and I started walking, we got half way through the yard in the back and we had to turn around. I haven’t quite mastered the confidence needed to walk through the forest at night. I’m not sure I ever will.
Lefty- See, this is why I think everyone should have a country house. The government should stop spending money on spaceships that take pictures of Mars, and instead should build everyone country cottages. Hmm. do you think anyone would go for this? Probably not. But a girl can dream.
Brandy, you and my lil’ Bro might consider doing your own version of The Simple Life…or Green Acres!
To bastardize Hank Jr., A country girl will survive!!!
I am looking forward to the day I can escape the city/suburbs for the country. Now I must go cry a little…
oh i didnt mean to make you feel bad about having no steve! shit. i hope the waffles, sunny, and spencer’s antics last night helped to console you. and the knowledge that you dont need no flippin steve in your little woodsy area to be your sweet, kick ass, rockin self.
I’m wearing tight pants and lipstick today. It’s for a good cause.
My bro can see you and I should be in business together. I say we still work on the t-shirt thing. Then we can talk about getting some fresh air. This is starting to sound like an “advance”. Trust me, it isn’t.
Ditto what Brookem said about SATC.
Oh yes, country memories! I pretty much have the same experience. Although nobody would have ever let me drive a tractor, because I am so freaking clumsy. But I know the difference between straw and hay and I can milk a cow. I often reminisce about my childhood in the haystack, swinging from the roof beams… Now I am in the city and only seldomly get homesick. Right now I feel the itch to go mushroom picking, but can’t…
I met you as the girl who said, “it is better to drink a martini than to wear one,” which was so often quoted when we drank together. Curious. Anyway. Even though I know of your country girl side, I always forget, because I have no memories of you with horses and outside the city life.
This is such a wonderful reminder to me that even though you sometimes think you know someone completely you never really do. It makes me happy to know that I can love someone completely without actually knowing everything.
And really nothing really makes me giggle more than knowing that when you are walking around in the winter looking for a horse at three in the morning, with carrot in hand, you still feel the need to call me.
I am so right there with you in so many ways. I may own more shoes than I can count, live in an apartment without a yard, and prize a good sale on clothes over farm equipment; however, I’ll always know how to milk a goat.
evans- I will think about it but I can see your brother being a camera hog and showing off all his bits to get the camera to follow him around more than me. Besides, do you think America is ready to see your brother is a bra and half undone suspenders, similar to what Paris wore on the show?
MC- I was going to say, if you build it, they will come… but that doesn’t really make sense. Move to the country and start seling eggs on the side of the road. It will be like ‘under the tuscan sun’ but completely different. Besides, it would give you some bloggng material. Think about it.
brookem- I’m kidding. The idea of sex ALL THE TIME would annoy me as much as it annoyed Miranda. Do not worry friend, I’m not wallowing. In fact, I just had some tea and a scone and am considering hooking up the Wii. Life is good.
egan- What’s the cause?
Katrin- Okay you and kels have me beat because I can’t milk anything. I mean, I have milked a cow before but found it really uncomfortable. I never understood that you had to squeezed and slide at the same time (enter your ‘that’s what she said’ anywhere in here…
and when I finally got the hang of it, then I started worrying I was doing it too hard and hurting the cow. I would much rather just ride a horse.
~t~- That 3am walking around thing was one of the WORST nights of my life, but I’m glad you remember it. And honestly, I’m glad I went through that at a younger age because the idea of going through that NOW makes me want to jump off a building. And I forgot about the martini phrase,… that started at the time when I first discovered martinis and found that the wide glass allowed me to easily drip on myself, as a classy lady tends to do from time to time.
Clearlykels- Milk a goat? You win the farm girl award lady! I’ve always disliked goats, probably because the only ones I ever met were extremely mean and enjoyed biting me.
ok. phew. im in my overly analytical, especially apologetic stage affer the happs of this past saturday. not that im usually not over analytical about most things, but you know, leave it to a gin-hazed mistake with an ex, and you’re bound to over-question things. in my case, my sanity.
Blogging about egging? Yeah, I could handle it.
I’m from a big city, always have been and I don’t think I will ever leave except for another big city! My grandfather had land in small town southern Indiana, I would practically be in tears whenever we were going to visit for more than a day.
Bugs, wild animals, unending woods, the only thing place to go being a Walmart 45 minutes away…definitely not where I wanted to be!
People seem to dig Eg’s FKT, and he’s wearing lipstick today, so seems like it’s almost there. I doubt he’d hog the camera as much as annoying “Team Speidi”, but you might have a point!
This is a really gorgeous post. Thanks for giving me a few moments of escape into your world!
You have such a beautiful way with words. I’m sure I’ve said this before but you truly are a fantastic writer.
Okay so I also know that that was the WORST night ever but i still find the image of you in the snow with a carrot amusing, regardless of the situation, at least now that it is over.
Plus I think you truly become grown-up when you can drink a martini while walking the room without spills.
No spills here anymore.
I think it always matters…remembering where you are from and being able to fold it into your present self. Defintely a great post!
I agree with everyone - this is a fantastic post. I had a similar experience in life as well, except I think mine had a lot more to do with joining a sorority and becoming friends with a lot of wealthy and beautiful women. Either way, it’s nice to have that feeling of remembering what things used to be like and knowing that no matter what shoes you’re wearing, you’re still the same old girl you used to be.
Loved this post.
Also overweight bulldogs are the BEST.
brookem- Do not worry friend. At all.
MC- I would read it. Oh, email is coming soon. I promise.
Jamie- You know what’s bizarre? When I was younger, I would have been right there with you. I was always the black sheep in the family, the last one who knew how to do all the outside stuff/chores that I later learned to love. God bless my parents for not shooting me for everytime I threw the pitchfork down and stomped around. But now, I like it. But I also like Wal-mart. But only only during the weekdays early in the morning when it has yet to be invaded by the masses.
Evan- True. I mean, I can’t see Egan grabbing the missus and heading over to ketchup and sending me over mean-spirited drinks. He’s much better than that. Hmm. I think I know too much about them.
Heather- Thanks for stopping by.
Airam- Hey! Coming from you that’s a HUGE compliment lady!! Thank you so much!
~t~- No spills? Ever? Wow. You really are a grown up. I still spill sometimes. But not just with martinis. I dropped a gallon of milk on the floor this morning. Know what smell I don’t like? Warm milk.
Ryane- Thank you! I definitely feel that figuring out how to fold ‘old me’ into ‘new me’ is important.
cdp- hey thanks! Also, I’m glad you agree about the overweight bulldog (it’s funny, I want to call her ‘fat’ but that seems hurtful), I plan on posting some pictures of her later in the week!
I LOVE the country. I was a BIG tomboy growing up, and every once in a while I amaze my boyfriend with my adventurous ways.
Where you grew up sounds lovely, and it’s important not to forget.
Ideally, you take the best of both worlds and make it your own
There you go: I was always afraid of sitting on hoarses!
I grew up in the city and never thought about living in the country at all. I lived for six years in a small town out far from a city and then moved again to a city. I long for the small town badly. I moved knowing people as I went some where. I loved the air. I loved that everything was so close. Life was less complicated and miss it. Maybe someday…again…
What a great post! It brought tears to my eyes.
appletini- Well put!
Katrin- I understand that! I have some friends who are really scared of horses. Which, is understandable. They are very big!
realworldmartha- It’s funny how you end up missing things you took for granted, and the things you thought you would miss… you sometimes don’t miss at all.
Trinity2- Thanks for your words! And for stopping by
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