My BIRTHDAY! July 29, 2007
Posted by brandy in MY BIRTHDAY, lists, pirates, wasting time.trackback
There’s a little EVENT coming up next month. It’s called MY BIRTHDAY! Hooray! The lovely aRbit recently emailed me asking about it, and because I expect the rest of you are just dying to know more about my BIRTHDAY!, I thought I would share my wish list. Even in my old age, I still have my wits about me and realize that whoever said ‘it’s not about the gift, it’s the thought that counts’ never probably got a really cool gift. With that said, I present my birthday wish list for 2007.
2007 Birthday Wish List
- World peace (I’m old and have decided that this year I’m going to be a responsible wisher- and wish for things that will better not just my life, but the lives of many people)
- a pony
- The name “Jack” to stop gaining popularity so it can be ’saved’ for when I have kids. Because I really like the name.
- A golfing afternoon with the Tiger, a liquid lunch with Elizabeth Taylor and a chance to listen to Jack Nicholson in a confession booth.
- A transporter (Um, I hate to bring this up, it’s a bit awkward but this has been on the list for like, the last 3 years. Someone CLEARLY needs to step up to the plate)
- the ability to wear my hair in pigtails and NOT look like I’m 11 years old
- A place on the water. Preferably, Lake Como so I’m close to George. For when.. you know, we fall in love and have a baby named Jack.
- a trampoline. Not a lame one with the screens on the side to prevent people from falling off. I want a real one. (Because yes, safety measures for small children turn a ‘real’ trampoline into a ‘fake trampoline’)
- An English accent
- The word ‘accio!’ to actually be magical. It would SAVE ME SO MUCH TIME. (Amanda, you understand this don’t you?)
- a diamond encrusted toothbrush
- For Mandy Moore to make a good movie or write a great song so I can justify why I like her.
- A surprise
- Martha Stewart to label me, a good thing.
- A bulldog named Emily. Or Jawbreaker.
-Gluten free corn dogs. Ohhh or gluten free beer. Ohhhh or gluten free any food that doesn’t taste like cardboard.
-More pirate slang to be incorporated into everyday conversations.
-My birthday to be celebrated twice a year, once in August, once in February. And for this to be accepted by everyone without them complaing that they don’t get two birthdays. And I want a crown, decorated with Hedwigs feathers and emeralds.
-A glass of orange juice with pulp- and for more people to appreciate the pulp.
- The ability to win a game of Scrabble with humility instead of dancing around and cheering my own awesomeness.
- Flava Flav (!) to get his own channel. So we will all know what time it is- all the time.
- a complete understanding of the following- what the hell is the deal with the IRA, computers, why rugby players looks so mean, the necessity for eyelash extensions, men,and how to assemble anything that comes with instructions and/or has more than three parts.
- American citizenship (just so I could vote), Irish relatives and a long lost friend who lives in the Caribbean and wants me to come and visit.
- Another Harry Potter book.
- A new texture of peanut butter to be developed. (For when you are tired of both smooth and crunchy)
You have less than a month people. Get cracking!

Sadly, I can help with none of these. But I will sing happy birthday to you ala Marilyn Monroe, if it makes up for it. However, I will work on increasing my pirate lingo use arrrrrrrvery day. How’s that, matey???
You ask for that which is not easy to find but we shall try our best. :p
I’ll get started on “Harry Potter and the naming-your-children-after-your-parents confusion” book right away.
I’ll also come up with peanut butter that feels like jello.
Would you like that toothbrush to be Oral B, Colgate or Aquafresh?
As for fat-free food that doesn’t taste like cardboard, I’d give anything to find that too.
Wow! I could learn a thing or two from you on how to make a wish-list. My wish-list this year was lame – after reading yours…
I also like Mandy Moore despite her not-so-brilliant work so far. I’ll be working on world peace, I hope you don’t mind that it might take a while (after all, I’d have to win Miss America, for that I’d have to lose about 30 pounds, develop a talent and move to the US – I’m pretty enough, says Daddy). Somebody else can to the easy stuff.
P.S.: Isn’t is so cool that Harry Potter was born in 1981. Just like you and me! We are a magical generation.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY FRIEND!!!!
Oh do I ever understand what you mean by “ACCIO”….I try it all the time at home and it hasn’t worked yet. I must keep practicing, me thinks.
I need to learn to win any game, including Scrabble, with humility. I am a bad winner…I blame my brothers.
Not a fan of Mandy Moore here…but that’s because she stole my name. Maiden name is Moore and when I was younger, people called me Mandy. So, she is an untalented name thief in my book.
Oh, there’s so much more that I can give you props on with this list, but I shall refrain for now. This is an excellent birthday wish, Brandydear and I hope that you get all this and MORE!!!
Your birthday will be AWESOME!!!
My favorites: the Mandy Moore one, the complaint about the transporter, the acceptance of you getting two birthdays, appreciating the pulp.
I think there’ll be a whole new J. K. Rowling series starting up, possibly as soon as the fervor over HP7 has died down.
I can’t help you with World Peace, but I’ll buy you a John Mayer album or something!
(I had no idea Canadians couldn’t vote!
)
I too appreciate the pulp. Not many people do. I look for orange juice with pulp.
I heard JK is putting out another book that will tell what happened to everyone and stuff that she could not put in the book. She says she needs a break. But trully we need her to get on writing that book.
I can help you on the pirate talk (Arrrrrrkansas!) and the friend in the Caribbean (sort of). Dont’ worry, I work cheap.
Happy almost Birthday! (I absolutely believe in the concept of Birthday Week AND Birthday Month.)
haha OOPS. okay, clearly i got a little to excited with the title of this post, and admitedly, i didnt read the whole thing through first, because i wanted to wish you a “happy birthday!!!,” pronto. now im back, and realize that the wonderful BIRTHDAY!, isn’t for another month. sorry about that confusion!
ok so now i can comment, now that i got that out. i really like the name jack too, and i find myself wanting names to be saved, just for me as well! im not a big fan of pulp, but i do agree with you on the pb! i really like mandy moore, and did you see the movie “because i said so” ??… because although she’s not all that swell in that either, there is a nice layered man in there that i know you will appreciate.
I have plenty of Irish relatives – you can borrow some any time you’d like!
ha ha, best birthday list ever! I’m totally with you about Mandy Moore, but hell why do we have to justify? She’s just so damn sweet!
I hope you get all you want and then some! Happy Birthday!
I’m totally with you on the liquid lunch with Liz Taylor. And the Harry Potter book. Happy Birthday!
Well I finally have an excuse to develop my bubble wrap textured peanut butter- I’ll get back to you in a month!
I am all for playing with Tiger…let’s see if i can make some magic happen…I love birthdyas and think the entire month should be dedicated to them…
1. A note to Aaron- you know we can vote in Canada right? We just can’t vote in the US- since we’re not American and all….
2. I wore pig tails all weekend- not sure if I looked 11 or not.
3. “Accio” would be SO handy. Especially for the remote, or chocolate.
Ummm… wear pigtails and NOT look 11 yrs old?!!! Nice try!!
)
I am so with you on the English accent… or even better – a man with an English accent!
Happy early Birthday!
i don’t “agree” with a handful of the items – but that is so not the point of this post. it is all about what YOU want. and for my benefit it is HILARIOUS. ridicuosly over the top hysterical. well done. and heres to wishing you a pony.
Oh Bloody hell (spoken in my English accent)..whenever am I going to have time to do all this shopping?
Arrr, matey, don’t ye worry yer pretty lil head, I’ll find me the time. Arrr.
I loved the name Jack, and for my last baby we thought about using it until we realized that the little boy across the street is named Jack, and a neighbor’s dog is also named Jack. Too much!
I agree on the different texture of peanut butter, and I love that you thought of that!
I hope your birthday (birthmonth? that is how I celebrate anyway) is awesome!
Brookem forgot to take her meds again.
Hey, I think we can deliver a trampoline for you. You know I was recently on a trampoline and I’m quite thankful it did have those side nets. As an adult it’s quite easy to launch yourself in the air sideways. Maybe it was because I pulled an all-nighter though. Tough to say.
Yes, someone else who loves pulp in their OJ. Man, you’re so full of good ideas. The Flava Flav Channel, now that’s a sweet idea.
I am with you on the English Accent. I’ve even been practising – funny how no one seems to notice the difference though. Oh well maybe I need to ask for a trip to England for MY birthday so I can really get it right
And if you don’t mind California instead of the Caribbean – you can visit me anytime.
ps. Me too me too – on 1981AND a birthday in Aug
Ack! I hate it when I let comments go this far without commenting…
MC- You know, I was really hoping you wouuld be up for the Marilyn singing. Hopefully you look good in a dress.
Anju- This is what I love- second comment in and you’re full of ‘can-do’ attitude. There’s no ‘what? where am i supposed to get this?’ talk. That’s what I like. Keep it up!
Bungi- No wish is ever lame if it comes from your heart. Whoa, I need to stop watching Lifetime television. Seriously though, I’ve been writing these ridiculous b-day lists and sending them to my friends for years, so I’ve had some practice.
Katrin- The ‘magical generation’ I love that. I felt I got ripped off since I graduated highschool in 1999, and everyone after us was the graduating class of the NEW MILLENIUM (I love it when I use caps to write a word and I’m pretty sure I’ve misspelled it) Suddenly 1981 doesn’t seem so bad.
Brookem- I just clocked it. “First official birthday wish- 1:24pm July 30th’. thanks for the early wish friend.
Amanda- I knew there had to be a fault with Mandy Moore. Name stealer! As for Scrabble, I’m glad someone relates. Ohhh can you imagine the intense Scrabble game you and I could play?
The Diva’s Thoughts- Thanks! I’m sure it will be a blast.
Swistle- New series?? Ohh my heart just went all a flutter.
Aaron- What about the pony? What are your thoughts on being the lucky guy who buys me a pony?
toshspice- Yeah, I read that too, and the lovely Amanda sent me some sweet JK links. Fingers crossed that this happens before I’m really old and unable to read anymore due to poor eyesight.
justrun- Ohh you make me laugh girl. And I think there should be a day where everyone blogs only in pirate talk. I’m just saying.
Brookem- Dude, that’s fine. I accept ‘happy birthdays’ a month prior, and three months after the actual birthday. So feel good, that you are the first person to actually wish me happy birthday this year.
Brookem- Nope, I haven’t seen that movie. I think Diane Keaton is the greatest thing since Meryl Streep but didn’t go to it after reading all the bad reviews. However, if a LAYERED man makes an appearance, I may have to rent.
Bre- I thought of you when I wrote about that. Good to know. I may be borrowing some.
The Last Unicorn- Yes, that’s true. There’s something about Mandy Moore that makes me think she’s the nicest person ever. I bet she recycles and reads to the blind too. (And she always has great shoes)
WLFG- Yes, I suspect Liz would be an interesting shooter companion. Something tells me she and tequila have some wild stories to share.
Kyla Bea- Ohhh I can’t wait! And can I just say I’m a little scared??
Princess Extraordinaire- Month birthdays? Yes, I think I could handle that. Actually, maybe not. I think I would drive people crazy. I once read this book as a kid called “Berenstein Bears and too much birthday” which captures my feelings on this issue perfectly. (Sister Bear got out of hand on her big day and Mama Bear had to take control. It wasn’t pretty)
Princess of the Universe- I know! The Accio!, would just be so… sweet. I would use it to find my keys. And my cell phone. And all my missing socks…
Still Searching- Yeah… I know. I still get ID’d when I go out and when I answer the phone people ask if my ‘mommy’s home’. I don’t think I will be able to make pigtails look sophisticated for quite some time…
Desiree- Ohh that’s far better than just wishing for an English accent for myself. Well done!
Anne- Thanks dearie! Now I’m curious, what don’t you agree with? Please tell me it’s not the one about pulp…
Jennifer- Once again, you have proven why I like you so much with this comment.
tori- Ahh finally someone who understands that a girl sometimes needs a different texture of peanut butter!! And thanks for the wishes, I’m sure August is going to be fantastic!
egan- A fellow pulp lover? I’m glad we are friends.
aRbit- Ohh really?? When’s your birthday??? And the disney book link you sent me cracks me up!
Crap! I was hoping you’d be repulsed be the idea. Yeah, I could probably pass the muster in a dress. It’s the cleavage I’m a little worried about (yep, that’s what she said)…
I’m totally with you on accio!!
My sister-in-law had soem gluten free pretzels yesterday that weren’t too bad. Really crunchy!
pulp made the top of the list. a florida girl through and through and i can’t handle the pulp!
however there was way more good than bad – i mean you got clooney on there. and surprises. oh i lurve surprises. just not when they come from the gas company in the form of a bill. okay so i love most surprises.
and have you tried Puffins? Gluten free cereal? Really excellent.
Oh my God, you are HILARIOUS! I love this list. I will gladly share my birthday with you (in February), as long as we can both have crowns.
MC- What would be repulsive about your singing a happy birthday while wearing a dress and wig? Frankly, it sounds like a fantastic idea. Start practicing.
pam- Ohh pretzels. I will start looking online for some. Do you know what kind they were?
Anne- I thought it would be the pulp since you are from Florida. All right. Well, it’s okay. I mean, we have other things in common. We both like drinking, and summer fruit, and taking pictures. Of course, you are just wayyyy better at posting the pictures you take. As for the cereal, I’m going to check it out!
Pants- Thanks!! I suspect crowns make all birthdays better.
Man, it sucks when you fall behind in responding… all I get is a short one sentence retort. Dammit all to hell!
egan- I know. It’s poor planning on my part and I apologize. Hopefully we can still be okay, and tuck this into the drawer along with the time I misspelled your name twice in a single day. How are you doing pal? Excited for Anna? How’s the Harry Potter reading going? Are you becoming amazed and enthralled as a wizarding world is created before your very eyes? Since I don’t think Anna is going to be born on HP’s birthday, I’m now just excited she will be born in August- just like me and all true leaders of the world. She will be a Leo- which will mean every horoscope she ever reads will start out with ‘you are a bossy person, but very brave’, or something similar. Just thought I would warn you.
Oh, how I sacrifice myself for others’ entertainment purposes. I keep getting lightheaded when I practice her ‘breathy’ voice. Damn that Marilyn and our former ladies’ man of a President!!
Okay, so, the 6 month birthday? A Fabulous Idea (yes, I did just capitalize that). My mom has done that for years (you know, a phone call, an e-mail, a special little treat brought home from the grocery store).
And pulpy orange juice? Can I join that fan club, please? Safeway has like gone on a pulp protest and seems to have 100 different varieties of pulp-free but only one, hidden, rare version of pulpy or extra pulp. It’s sad.
And you miss gluten? Well, I miss peanut butter, whatever the variety (it makes me break out! gah…not so bad as your gluten allergy, but still, I really love peanut butter!).
I’m working on the transporter … but mine will be specializing in transporting blog friends to tropical places where lots of cocktails will be at our disposal.
MC- I like how you are so focused on the breathy voice and I’m mostly focused on you in the dress. PRomise me you will wear the gloves too?
Sarah- Oh I love that you love the pulp! (That sounded sort of weird, but I’m okay with it) As for the 6 month b-day, your mom sounds fantastic. I need to talk to my mom about this and get her to jump on this 6 month b-day bandwagon…
Airam- Whooo finally someone who is commiting to the transporter. Thank goodness! And I do love the idea of a tropical vacation. Anywhere with a beach is good with me.
I am still working on the transporter from Christmas Wish List 2003. The problem is that you have to have two of them to make it work. There seems to be a problem with replicating the first one… PS I am going to watch ‘OvenMitts’ perform tomorrow… I hope that it makes me laugh uncontrolably.
Ha, thanks for the warning Brandy about a Leo baby. I have never really put much thought into that stuff so I will have to trust what you say here. Yes, I can move on because I’m really not that shallow. It was just too much fun to pick on you about this. You please me very much with that most recent comment to me on this post. Thank you.
Did you really say ‘ridiculous b-day lists’?!
1. My birthday is also next month. Good choice in birthday months.
2. I’ll take care of the world peace.
3. AMEN! to the pirate slang and OJ pulp.
t- Oh dear. I mean I feel bad for her, but seriously. I would be giggling too. Keep on working on the transporter…
egan- See, I didn’t put much thought into it either until I realized that my sign is exactly who I am. Although, it could be one of those things that you SEE your sign and you know what you are, so you adapt yourself to it. But I don’t think so. I think my bossiness was always inside me.
Bungi- I did! I mean, it is a bit, isn’t??
Lefty- Ohh A fellow August b-day! So exciting. And yes, these are the things that get me excited lately. Glad someone else is on the pulp wagon.
I am so with you on the transporter… and Mandy Moore for that matter.
Girl is 5′10!
Love that you start with peace, but will clearly settle for a pony or a transporter. Nice work.
I likes the pulp. So does my oldest kid, Jack. (Sorry.)
Peter- Yeah see, that’s not why I like her. I mean, usually a girl being super cool tall makes me scowl since I am only 5″2. I just like her since a) I haven’t seen her bits in pieces in a magazine b) She has great hair c) She’s funny and modest and d) She manages to stay friends with her ex’s and not speak badly about them. Which is a quality I do not have (Staying friends, not the speaking badly, I can actually control what I say)
themikestand- JAck!? Damn it! Ahhh well. At least I’m consoled by the fact that little Jack likes pulp. That makes me feel better.
I am officially taking on the pirate slang goal.
Yarrrrrr.
I think I will start by changing my official title to Captain in the manuscript I just began.
I’m a Mandy fan for all of those reasons too. And 5′2 is a great height for a chica!
You know I often use the word ‘Yar’ even before I read this. And you’re right. Not enough people appreciate the pulp. Its gotta have the pulp. If it wasn’t meant to have pulp, we’d have pulpless oranges. And if you’re such a big fan of emeralds, you should ask for one of these… Who couldn’t use an emerald encrusted globe?
http://www.embassyemeralds.com/wiki/tiki-index.php?page=The+Great+Globe
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Happy Birthday!!