Dudes! I have returned. I plan on filling you all in on my Crave cupcake eating, margarita slurping, Harry Potter screaming, Chuckwagon watching, jazz cigarette finding, Bon Jovi concert watching, cute shoe shopping, knee-deep water wading adventure. But first, a little housekeeping. I put forth the task of asking me a few questions while I was gone, and you all did. Ask. A. LOT. It’s taken some time, but I’ve got them all answered. Now, I plan on tackling my google reader. So grab a snack, and sit back to learn all the things you never thought you’d ever find out about me. Happy Weekend!

Egan asked: How did you first discover blogs and how has blogging changed you?

Well, I have to admit I was really slow joining the blogwagon. I always really enjoyed writing, but shared my love by writing extensively and then EMAILING my thoughts to all my friends regardless if they wanted to hear about it or not. (Because really, what better way to show your love of writing by forcing people to read it?) I had an ex-boyfriend who started a blog, and so I started reading it (something I don’t recommend anyone doing- not his in particular, but reading an ex’s blog) suddenly I realized I could write whatever I wanted and didn’t have to ram it down someones throat- there was an alternative. I could write, and if someone wanted to comment they could. Ta-Da! I also realized that people who blogged were not all pretentious, shut-in recluses who wore coke-bottle glasses and only spoke in binary code. It was a great moment. As for how it changed me, I think it’s made me more reflective. And I know that I try and look at situations now whether they are ridiculously funny or horribly sad and try to figure out how I can best share it- in a way that’s entertaining while still staying true to what happened.

Bre asked: What does your 5 year happiness plan look like? As in - if in five years you will be blissfully happy, what will happen in the meanwhile to get you there?

Good question- one that my guidance counsellor in university asked me a few times and was met with blank stares. I think I have a better understanding of what it will look like now, but also understand it’s always changing as I learn more about myself and discover new interests. I do know that I will need to be EMPLOYED. FULL-TIME. IN A SCHOOL. WITH CHILDREN. That’s a big one (hence the capitals). I suppose true happiness comes when you feel you are using your greatest strengths to the best of your ability (wait, I think I just ripped off a JRK quote), and until I have a full-time teaching job I suspect I will always be a bit unsatisfied. Also, a stable relationship with a man who likes to make me breakfast in bed would be nice.

Justrun asked: Can we please have pictures of Stampede?!

I’m going to use all my superheroic powers to try and produce pictures.

Michael C asked: What is your position on the warming at the poles with relationship to very fat penguins who seemingly against all odds can actually walk? How does that relate to the United States’ tax policies as it corresponds to the cubicle wall manufacturing industry? Oh, should I choose a grape ICEE or a Cherry one?

I’m going to spend a bit of time reflecting on the first two (my brain is a bit mushy from many margaritas and the intoxicating smell of suntan lotion), but will say unless you are choosing a fruit to EAT,- always chose grape over cherry. Cherry flavored anything is never as good as grape flavored anything. And that is the not my opinion, it’s the law.

Airam asked: What would you had if your captain took you up on the “suck my dick offer”?

Depends. Is he cute?

Nic asked: As a teacher, I know you have the perfect answer to ‘why is the sky blue?’ True, I could google it, but I much prefer the answer of a REAL authority on the subject. Also, do you know the way to San Jose?

The sky is blue because it looks the prettiest with the clouds. Seriously though, I hate to do my profession wrong, but it’s been my experience that most teachers don’t know things like that off the top of their head because all their cranium space is saved for things like ‘how to spot head lice at fifty paces’. However, I will say that I know that it does have something to do with the light rays from the sun and how they are affected once they enter the atmosphere. Sadly, if you want more detail I’m going to have to google it. As for San Jose, I don’t know how to get there but even if I’m drunk, lost in the forest and have just woken up (which has happened but that’s another story for another day), I can always find North. It’s my gift. So, I suspect I could find San Jose eventually.

Sarah asked: What’s the one thing you would never compromise on for love? What’s the big dream you still have for yourself? If you met Kevin Costner, what would you say to his wife?

Loved these! Okay, I would never compromise my self respect for love. I’ve seen too many people whittle down themselves in order to make someone else look good, or feel better. That’s just never been appealing to me. (Second answer: Sanity. Seriously. So many people seem to lose their ability to function when they fall in love. I don’t mean those cute moments where you are spaced out from thinking of how great the other person is, I’m talking those people who completely lose their mind as soon as someones tongue has been placed in their mouth) Big dream I still have for myself? Hmm, I would like to write something. I haven’t figured out what (which relates to why I’ve yet to start this) but I have always wanted to write something… And yes, that’s as far as I get before I get sort of blank about the whole thing. A novel seems like it would be a bit of a problem with my ADD, but who knows.  As for Kev’s wife, I think I would just tell her “Lucky girl!” and then proceed to discuss how stunning I thought her wedding dress was. Because nothing brings people together like talking about fabulous clothes. (And yes, I love how shallow that sounds.)

t asked: When are you coming to visit me?

If I had my way, I would have been there yesterday (Doesn’t that sound like a line from a country song?)

Ames asked: What 5 things do you like about yourself? What gluten filled goodie do you miss most? What makes you smile everytime you think about it?

Ohhh I love a question that lets me brag! Just kidding. Sort of. Anyway, 5 things I like about myself 1) I’m friendly, even if it makes me look like a fool 2) I will never apologize for my deep seated Harry Potter love 3) I have the amazing ability to smell a jazz cigarette from very far away (I’m trying to figure out how to write this in my resume without it looking bad) 4.) If I have strong opinions about a topic, I will try to educate myself about it so my comments have a foundation 5.) I don’t have trouble thinking of what I like about myself. It’s a fine line between confidence and cockiness, and yet I think I walk it well. ;)  Gluten free goodie I miss the most would have to be cereal. It was always by go-to snack when I was hungry. Sigh. Enviro-kids cereal is just not the same but I’m trying. As for what makes me smile, I loved this question! It’s hard to say just one so I will ramble off a few- free anything, holidays with my family, patio time with friends, old people who hold hands, singing along to really bad music on the highway, Jon Stewart and a good shoe sale.

Amanda the queen of comments asked: Levis or Wranglers? If you had the chance to read HP#7 TODAY (a whole 15 days before everyone else), would you do it? What is your favorite play/musical? How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

The jeans depend on the butt. I would say 98% of the population looks better in Levi’s but when a guy has the junk to fill out wranglers, it’s a good moment. I’m a total Levi girl, but I’ve got a pair of my dad’s Wranglers from the 70’s that are so wicked. About HP, I wouldn’t read it. I would really, really, really want to, but there’s no way I would be able to keep the secret of what happened so I would rather be anxiously excited with everyone else rather than be the smug lone reader who can’t say anything for fear of letting something slip. I’m curious to know what you would do. Favourite play would have to be “the Importance of Being Ernest”. I know it’s a bit of a cliche to pick it, but I really do love Oscar Wilde and there’s just so many great lines in it. Besides, it’s what introduced me to cucumber sandwiches, so how can it be bad? I saw Blithe Spirit and really enjoyed that too though. Oh, and Seussical the Musical was pretty rad. As for the woodchuck, depends. Is he in a union? What’s his work ethic like? Is he in an unhappy marriage and using work as an excuse to avoid going home? If he is, I bet he could chuck a lot more than the happily married guy who can’t wait to get home.

Lefty asked: Why doesn’t Canada ever invade anyone? Chicken? How did you get such a kick ass national anthem?

Oh Lefty. I think Canada doesn’t invade anyone we are more of a ‘make love not war’ sort of country. Or at the very least a ‘make some peace, not war’ sort of country. Or perhaps it’s because we are too sidetracked with hockey and perfecting our POUTINE recipes to plan a war.  As for our anthem, I suspect it was a songwriting contest where the winner got a case of beer. However I could be wrong.

The Exception asked:  What are your favorite books? Where would you live if you could? What is our favorite thing to do in your free time?What are your favorite books for kids?

Oh man! The favourite books question could be an entire blog post all on it’s own. If I was held at gunpoint and forced to choose five they would be: “The Great Gatsby”, “A Girls Guide to Hunting and Fishing”, “Harry Potter”, “A Short History of Nearly Everything” and “Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close”. However, if you asked me tomorrow, I bet I would name five completely different books with as much passion as I chose these. This is the burden this book whore bears. If I could live anywhere, I think I would live in Calgary. It’s not a very exciting choice but I’ve been there twice in the last month and a half and I’ve re-fallen in love with it. It’s such a green city, close to the mountains and there’s always stuff to do. Plus, they have the Crave cupcake. Or you know, Fiji. Because I do love the beach. My current favourite thing to do in my spare time is look at my suitcase and imagine that’s unpacked itself. Or, I could dork out and tell you that I do love watching old episodes of “The Office”, or writing. I’ve also started taking my ipod and going to a park in town to read, which has been nice and relaxing. Favourite books for kids? Oh I love this question. Well, obviously Harry Potter. I appreciate how there are many layers to the books, so that everyone- regardless of age can get something out of it. The magic element sparks imagination, but I value the books because they show that an individual doesn’t have to be rich, or old to make a difference- or to be right. A lesson that I think is important for children to know. For older children, I like “Little Women” or “Anne of Green Gables”. Both were favourites for me, and each had really strong female characters. I love all Dr. Seuss, but must say my heart belongs to Robert Munsch. If you teach kids, or have kids, I pretty much think his books are a necessity to your life- like oxygen.

Beth asked What 3 beauty products couldn’t you live without? I’m looking for brand and shade here!

Ohh, if you could only see my bathroom you would understand how difficult this was for me. Okay, if I had to choose…
- Voluminious mascara (black) by Loreal (I think the world can be divided into those who love Great Lash by Mabelline and those who despise it. I despise it)
- Island Hop body mist by the Gap- It’s the best smelling body spray ever. It’s a vacation in a bottle. When I put it on, I honestly fall in love with myself all over again.
- Benefit Hoola bronzer- The next best thing to having an actual tan..
- Air kiss lipgloss by Clinque- And yes I realize it’s more than 3, but I couldn’t leave this out. I love it so much when I was backpacking Europe and had no money and was feeling rather homesick, my good friend Trout bought it for me.

Ally asked: How old are you? How long was your longest relationship? How long have you been a teacher?

I’m the big 25, turning 26 in less than two months, which makes me nervous. 26 is on the other side of the 20’s- and I’m the first one out of all my friends to go there. It’s funny how a silly number can affect someone. Longest relationship was 9 months. Somedays it felt like much longer, sometimes it felt like much shorter. I graduated in 2005, so technically I’ve been a teacher for two glorious years. (Sidenote- I recently realized that I was making more money through scholarships/bursaries while going to school than what I make now. Depressing,yes?)

Beth asked: What are your fears in life?

It used to be JK Rowling dying before book 7 could be released. Now, that I see the book almost within my grasp I’m sleeping easier at night. I will say that I have an irrational fear of mice. I try to think of them as friendly little dress makers (similar to Cinderella’s friends), but it never sticks. I’m also scared of swimming when I can’t see the bottom, hairy spiders, my appendages dangling over the edge of my bed when I sleep, George W Bush, snakes, people who don’t believe in global warming and never accomplishing something worth noting.

Ashwathy asked: Tell us about your fave books and authors!

Well, I listed some of my favourite books above, but favourite authors would have to be Lolly Winston, Ernest Hemmingway, Melissa Banks, Elizabeth Berg, Jeffrey Archer, Wally Lamb, Leo Tolstoy and Sue Miller.  Jeffrey Archer has a book of short stories called “To Cut a long story short“, which includes the story titled “The grass is always greener”. That particular short story I think should be mandatory reading for someone as soon as they come out of the womb.

brookem asked: How long do you think you’ll continue blogging for? do you ever see it ending? If  you could only keep one pair of shoes (the horror!) out of your closet, and had to give the rest away, which one would you keep, and why?What actress do you most resemble?

Ahh I’m at the end (and what great questions to end on.). Hmm, I think I will stop blogging when I don’t have anything to say. I don’t want to become someone who writes daily about what cereal I’m eating, or how much I might be hating work. Granted, I do have those days where that’s all I can find to talk about, and I do read people who write about those things and I enjoy it. But, I wouldn’t be happy if that’s all I ever wrote about, so we shall see when it ends. The shoe question was very difficult for me to answer and I ping-ponged back and forth on a couple pairs but I’ve settled on one pair- black, knee high suede boots. My magic boots. My rockstar boots. And in the summer, I suppose I would pull a Britney and just go barefoot. As for an actress I most resemble, I don’t know. Someone blonde and short- perhaps Drew Barrymore? But she’s starting to look far more put together than I ever could. If only Mandy Moore was blonde again I would say her. Definetly someone who looks normal.