I had a different post.

It was a sober (pun intended) ditty filled with deep thoughts and clever lines used to hide my frustration. It’s a Public Service Announcement to anyone who has ever taken a sip of liquid courage and did exactly what they told their heart brain they wouldn’t do.  Unfortunately the whole thing makes me feel a bit sad every time I read it, so I’m just going to tuck it nicely away for now and share it when I don’t feel like it so clearly puts my heart out into the world in size 12 font. Why am I telling you this? To teach you all that swamp water is bloody dangerous. So instead of a sad PSA post, you are going to get a post on one of my favourite topics-

Kissing.

Not only is it a great hobby, it’s something that I’ve heard discussed lately and I feel I need to share my views. Because ladies and gentlemen, kissing is one of the few things that unites the entire world- like feeling that your parents don’t understand you when you are 14 years old or discovering that your world is a brighter and happier after an excellent first date. Kissing is the glue that holds the world together. Okay, that’s a bit of a stretch, but I like what it sounds like so I’m keeping it.

Everyone raves about the first kiss, the magical moment when two sets of lips collide, the heavens open up and the world (finally!) begins to make sense. The term ‘first kiss’ makes girls swoon and boys pulse race. Men and women wonder when it will happen and when it does, they replay it over in their head like a movie that keeps skipping. But here’s a secret I feel like sharing- first kisses have never been my favourite.

A first kiss is a question mark.  It’s cause for exploration, with doubt still lingering. It’s hesitant and nervous. It’s playing the game, but not showing all your cards.  It’s a want. As in ” I want to know if your lips are as soft as they look“. It’s awkward hand placement, bumping noses, it’s serious and intense, because DEAR. GOD. ITS. THE. FIRST. ONE.  Don’t get me wrong, first kisses get my heart racing too, I just wish they weren’t thought of as the Michael Jordan of the kissing experience.

So if I’m not a fan of the first kiss, which kiss is my favourite? The one you get while wearing cough medicine stained pajamas, sneezing and coughing? The goodbye kiss that says everything neither of you can say while at the train station? The lazy Tuesday morning kiss where you both risk morning breath suffocation? The kiss you sneak at your parents while elderly relatives clear their throat each time they see unmarried people holding hands? The one you want the world to see because you’re so drunk with love?

Although all of those can be exciting, my choice is pretty plain. The second kiss is by far my favourite kiss of all. The one you can have anywhere, whether it’s planned or spontaneous, the one that just has to be done. Why?

It’s an exclamation point. It’s confirming that you want to continue. It’s reassuring and amazing and filled with the nervous excitement that comes with the first kiss but with an added bonus- the comfort of something being familiar. It’s throwing your cards down and hoping for the best. It’s grabbing the outstretched hand of someone else and wanting to memorize every line in their palm. It’s a need. As in “I need to do this again because I like what I’ve had and I need more“. It’s an itch that has to get scratched or you will go crazy.

See what I’m saying?

Now,  while you ponder my theory on second kisses, I plan on going shoe shopping  for some killer high heels. So when the mood for a new kiss arrives, I won’t have to stand on my toes.

There’s a little EVENT coming up next month. It’s called MY BIRTHDAY! Hooray! The lovely aRbit recently emailed me asking about it, and because I expect the rest of you are just dying to know more about my BIRTHDAY!, I thought I would share my wish list. Even in my old age, I still have my wits about me and realize that whoever said ‘it’s not about the gift, it’s the thought that counts’ never probably got a really cool gift. With that said, I present my birthday wish list for 2007. 

                                   2007 Birthday Wish List

- World peace (I’m old and have decided that this year I’m going to be a responsible wisher- and wish for things that will better not just my life, but the lives of many people)

- a pony

- The name “Jack” to stop gaining popularity so it can be ’saved’ for when I have kids. Because I really like the name.

- A  golfing afternoon with the Tiger, a liquid lunch with Elizabeth Taylor and a chance to listen to Jack Nicholson in a confession booth.

- A transporter (Um, I hate to bring this up, it’s a bit awkward but this has been on the list for like, the last 3 years. Someone CLEARLY needs to step up to the plate)

- the ability to wear my hair in pigtails and NOT look like I’m 11 years old

- A place on the water. Preferably, Lake Como so I’m close to George. For when.. you know, we fall in love and have a baby named Jack.

- a trampoline. Not a lame one with the screens on the side to prevent people from falling off. I want a real one. (Because yes, safety measures for small children turn a ‘real’ trampoline into a ‘fake trampoline’)

- An English accent

- The word ‘accio!’ to actually be magical. It would SAVE ME SO MUCH TIME. (Amanda, you understand this don’t you?)

- a diamond encrusted toothbrush

- For Mandy Moore to make a good movie or write a great song so I can justify why I like her.

- A surprise

- Martha Stewart to label me, a good thing.

- A bulldog named Emily. Or Jawbreaker.

-Gluten free corn dogs. Ohhh or gluten free beer. Ohhhh or gluten free any food that doesn’t taste like cardboard.

-More pirate slang to be incorporated into everyday conversations.

-My birthday to be celebrated twice a year, once in August, once in February. And for this to be accepted by everyone without them complaing that they don’t get two birthdays. And I want a crown, decorated with Hedwigs feathers and emeralds.

-A glass of orange juice with pulp- and for more people to appreciate the pulp. 

- The ability to win a game of Scrabble with humility instead of dancing around and cheering my own awesomeness.

- Flava Flav (!) to get his own channel. So we will all know what time it is- all the time.

- a complete understanding of the following- what the hell is the deal with the IRA, computers, why rugby players looks so mean, the necessity for eyelash extensions, men,and how to assemble anything that comes with instructions and/or has more than three parts.

- American citizenship (just so I could vote), Irish relatives and a long lost friend who lives in the Caribbean and wants me to come and visit.

- Another Harry Potter book.

- A new texture of peanut butter to be developed. (For when you are tired of both smooth and crunchy)

You have less than a month people. Get cracking!

If we played a game of never-have- I-ever and I said “Never have I ever gone out on a Wednesday night, consumed a large quantity of something affectionately referred to as ’swamp water’ and then came home to email 47 people on my email list including HIM”- I would have to take a drink. Because I’m awesome like that.  I also believe in free smiles and wearing my sunglasses at night.

Oh, and and my spell check isn’t working. It’s not me fault, that there is spelling mistakes here, it’s wordpress. BEcause even wordpress isn’t perfect, despite all the evidence to the contrary.

And yes. I love that while brushing my teeth I will share all this with you guys. And I love after drinking I can still correctly spell things like ‘evidence to the contrary’.

Oh, and I hate gardening. I cut myself today on glass. It’s a story for tomorrow, but just know that I don’t like gardening. I saw a worm so big I screamed. -That’s what she said. (just for you MC)

Oh, and about the tag, I’m not really feeling frisky. I just thought it was funny.

Favourite phrases: “Buzz off” (thanks Egan), “beat it”, and “cool it”. I love all three with equal parts of my heart.

I rule.

p.s. My head is hurtinG already, so leave nice comments.

p.p.s. Do you ever have a moment where you realize you are not mortified, but glimpse into the future and see how mortified you are in the future, and almost re-think your current actions but don’t? Yeah. That’s RIGHT. NOW.

I read this lovely ditty the other day and it got me thinking. As many of you may know, I’m single. This fact shocks my mother in way that doesn’t upset me, but just fans the flame of flattery. She’s amazed, but not worried, knowing that it’s all about timing. Still, this doesn’t stop her from asking the big questions: How is it possible that I have not been snatched up by some thoughtful and tanned doctor with kind eyes and a warm heart? Have I not shown a man all the things I can cook on a barbeque? Have I yet to wow someone with my endless knowledge of the Montreal Canadians hockey team? Can no man see my awesome dance moves that suggest a bucketful of confidence and innate sense of rhythm?

Apparently not.

Although my mom’s shock makes me giggle, it’s entirely different coming from a friend. A friend who is happily coupled and can’t understand how you can be happily uncoupled. I suppose it comes from a good place when you hear “we should find you a guy”, but I admit, that such phrases from coupled people make me want to look for an oven and pull a Plath. It’s the “we” in it that bothers me. As though finding someone for me is such a difficult task that it requires a partner- similar to lifting a car, or washing an elephant.

I sometimes get the feeling while out with coupled friends, that they are looking for ‘opportunities’ for me to meet ‘the one’. Scanning crowds and starting conversations with guys who look friendly, in hopes that ‘we’ can find the guy for me. What I think people forget sometimes is, sometimes a single girl is single and not looking. Sometimes I just want to go out, looking great and smelling fantastic and spend the entire evening playing name that tune without striking up a conversation about ‘what I do for a living’ and if I ‘come here often’.

Sometimes I think people forget that partnering up to find someone a boyfriend when they aren’t looking isn’t exciting- it’s exhausting.

(And in completely unrelated news, how excited am I to see THIS? I’ve stated here (#62 to be exact) that Bottle Rocket is the greatest movie of all time, so I think this one might turn out to be the second greatest movie of all time.)

I look back at my life and am amazed at what I remember, or more accurately, what I don’t. I can’t tell you what I said at my grandmothers funeral, why I thought I should date him, or how old I was when I got my first kiss. I can’t tell you what was the last thing my dad and I argued about, what my winning public speech topic was, or when I stopped believing in Santa Clause.

It bothered me at first- realizing how much of my past is gone and not able to be collected. Like pieces lost to a puzzle that you can’t help but try and rebuild. But I’ve realized that I can’t choose my memories.  A memory isn’t something you decide to keep- it decides to keep you. It’s impossible to go through life creating a list of only the memories you wish to keep and the ones you want to forget. While many are washed away by time, some refuse to go- some stick to your insides like superglue, and play in your mind like a high definition movie. Sometimes it’s a memory that holds great value- a wedding day, first day of school, the day you get fired. And sometimes a memory sticks with you for no reason- your highest score at Super Mario brothers, the middle name of your best friend in the third grade,  the day you skipped class and spent the afternoon smelling lilacs in the park.

I may not remember what I said at my grandmothers funeral, but I will always remember how she always bit her lip when she was close to winning at cards. The reasons for dating the guy may always be hazy, but the soft sigh he made while sleeping is etched into my brain and will stay there forever. I don’t know old I was when I stopped believing in Santa Clause, but I know how old I was when I started believing in myself.

So it’s a trade-off. The memories we want to keep aren’t always the ones that stay, and sometimes what we wish to forget stays with us forever. But if time is the true test of what remains with me and what falls away, I am okay with that. I may not remember everything, I may forget and lose track of what I want to remember, but what memories keep me- will be worth it.

Let me begin this ditty by saying that if you are one of the 7 people in the world who have no interest in Harry Potter, you may want to skip this post (and perhaps take a long hard look at yourself in a mirror and ask yourself what kind of person you are). Because this one my dear friends, is Potter-filled, and is a bit dramatic. I mean, I throw out the phrase ‘end of an era‘. I also admit to crying over Harry Potter so if that is going to cause you to roll your eyes, perhaps go do a crossword instead and wonder what you are going to tell your grandchildren when they ask you about Harry Potter and you know nothing.

I’ve gotten a few emails asking when I started reading the Potter books, and if I was hooked right away. I hate to admit it- but I wasn’t hooked instantly. I got the first three as a box set and they sat in my bookshelf for MONTHS collecting dust before I remembered I had them and started reading. The first book nearly put me off the series, and it’s only due to my annoying inability to quit a book half way through, that I continued reading. And I’m glad I did. I’ve spent countless hours reading all of them (book 5 was a favourite), then re-reading them, then talking to my friends about what I thought would happen next and waiting in lines to see the movies on screen. With all my Potter love, I wasn’t surprised that I got an email from someone asking me why the hell I hadn’t put up a Potter post.

I’ve posted references, and a few theories (especially on Amanda’s HP blog) but I’ve found that I haven’t wanted to say a lot. Not because I didn’t have  feelings on the topic, but because I find that I often stop talking about the things I’m most excited about when they are near. Like my birthday. I can talk about it, and plan activities/parties, and email countdowns… but when it actually arrives- I dread it. And as shocked as I was to say it, I told a friend Friday night that I just wasn’t ready for the book to come out.

It sounds weird to say, but I was really nervous about it being over. If you are a reader like me, you’ve found characters you enjoy, storylines you want to continue, questions you want answered. I worried that the final book would leave me disappointed- an anti-climatic plateau to the rollercoaster that I felt I had been on. What if the ending wasn’t what I wanted? The lives of these characters had been typed up and if I was disappointed, there would be nothing I could do to change it. I wasn’t in control of what I felt so strongly about. What if this last book was a waste of cutdown rainforest trees?

Thankfully, it wasn’t. The book was fantastic. I can say without reservation that I felt it was the best possible ending for the story, managing to satisfy all types of readers- many of whom were polarized on topics such as Snape, the possibility of Harry having to die, and the location of the final Horacrux. It wasn’t mushy, I never felt that JK (because yes, we are that close I don’t use her last name) toned down the violent battles for her younger readers, or had a predictable “good triumphs over evil” ending.  People die, curse words are screamed, not everything ends happily. But it ends in a way that leaves the reader feeling satisfied knowing that the time they spent waiting (and for some of us, counting down) until this last book, was completely worth it.

This is not to say that I finished the book with a smile. I had wanted to read slowly, but excitement pushed forward and before I knew it, I was at the end (and my eyes were burning having read for 6 straight hours). It was with a heavy heart that I read the last chapter, knowing that it wasn’t just the last chapter of the book, but an end of an era.  And then dear readers, I’m not too cool to tell you- I did have a little cry. Not only because a few of my favourite characters bit the dust, but because I knew there wasn’t going to be another countdown to look forward to. The chapter ended, the series finished, the story told. 

Although the books may be finished, I will still re-read them. The writing is action-packed and the characters memorable. They stand in my bookshelf as a brightly colored reminder of what a good read should be. And this time, I know they won’t collect dust.

Today’s 10 reasons why I should be Pope (also known as: Brandy has had this list for awhile and thinks it would be fun to share now since she’s jam packed busy and not able to spend time thinking of anything funny/witty/interesting to say.) Forgive me. I promise I will be back commenting on all your posts with glorious and insightful comments on Monday.

1. I don’t really know a lot about Catholicism so I wouldn’t be a know-it-all Pope who would always say things like, “well John XXIII did it this way or Paul VI always did it like this…”. You know, like some smug-in-your-face Pope. No, I would be the cool, open-minded Pope that would be like ’sure, hey, let’s try that’, or ‘whatever works man, whatever works’.

2. I would singlehandledly make wearing a mitre cool again by dressing it up with some pink side sash. (And for the record, a ‘mitre’ is the name of the pointed hat the Pope wears)

3. From my research (you didn’t think I just wrote this stuff without research did you?) the Pope is in charge of guiding people’s faith and making sure they stay on track. I’m all about that. If people said they were starting to doubt, I would say something helpful like “hey, look at me. I’m the Pope and I believe so who do you think you are to not believe?”. If they continued on their path of non-believing, well, just see #4.

4. I would make sure there would be no dissenters. People against the Pope, well.. I would just beat your ass down.

5. I would give the Pope name a little street cred with a Jay-Z photo op. Scratch that- It would be a 50 cent photo op (the bullet proof vest is more ghetto then Beyonce) . (And while we are talking music, Simple Plan would be ‘eliminated’. I’m the Pope so I can’t get into details but, they would not be making music anymore).

6. I would consider that maybe, just maybe, Dan Brown is on to something….

7. There would be cool, free “Get your Religion on” concerts all summer and all singers who gratuitously decorate themselves with religious paraphernalia would be oligated to attend and sing.

8. I would make “Monday” the new “Sunday”.

9. Beer, not just wine would become holy and would get the respect it deserves.
10. I wouldn’t make my millions of followers refer to me as Pope Brandy Lee (even though technically, I’m supposed to change my name following the traditions that have occured for hundreds of years), I would be Po-pa B Holla!. Which would just be a ridiculous good time to say.

I don’t really talk a lot about my brother. Because #1 he’s too awesome for words (he IS one of the only people who can beat me at Scrabble and have me still like them afterwards) and #2 I wouldn’t know how to capture him in a way that would really do him justice.  It’s like trying to describe what the color red makes you feel, or how your favourite ice cream tastes like on a hot day, or what a hug at the airport feels like when you’ve been away for far too long. Some acts, some things, some people just defy description. I suppose everyone feels that way about the people they really care about.

However, there are moments that I think show someone for who they are, better than any words could.

He has a job that I don’t think many people understand and I know some people disagree with (reason #3 that maybe writing about him isn’t a great idea), however, he did something pretty fantastic Saturday night and I felt like sharing it. The article explains it, the video shows it. Keep in mind, the video is violent (it is a crash), so some of you may not want to watch. My brother “throws his superman costume on” about 42 seconds into the video. The video doesn’t show it, but after he jumps into the wagon, he does a tightwalk rope down the pole of the wagon (all while the 4 horses are charging), and grabs the horses necks to prevent a wreck.

So to recap- on Saturday night I drank martinis, painted my toes and looked at all my suitcases I had yet to unpack. My brother took a hero pill and saved the day for an audience of 63,789 people.

Now I know what Superman’s sister feels like.

Proud.

Oh, and in other news, I’m quitting my job tomorrow.

Number of people I taught how to feed a horse without it biting fingers off- 2

Number of times I looked at Trout during the Bon Jovi concert and asked “Is Richie Sambora really wearing a snakeskin cuff?”-3

Number of times I tried to pretend I could still love a man who wore a large snakeskin cuff only to realize that although I MAY be able to do that (especially when the man in question plays the guitar like he’s making love to it), I could not love  a man who wore a snakeskin cuff while also donning a shirt unbuttoned to his navel- 3

Number of times I sang “Happy Birthday” to Ritchie- 1 (can you believe it? It was his birthday! Maybe the cuff was a gift?)

Number of times I swore I would never consume gluten after eating a CRAVE cupcake (Kathryn, I got the coconut one and it was DELICIOUS!), a corndog AND mini-donuts and 6 beers (seriously, did I have a suicide wish?)- 894,432

Number of awesome Aussie hypnotists I met- 1

Number of times I screamed uttered the phrase “it’s time to K.O your B.O!” -11

Number of times the term “jazz cigarettes” was said in a fit of giggles: too many too count. Thanks Jon Stewart.

Number of times my friends and I marveled at my ability to smell a jazz cigarette from 50 paces- 27

Number of awesome surprise gluten free pancake breakfasts my wicked friends planned for me (because they know how much I love a good Stampede pancake) complete with homemade sign- 1

Number of times alcohol and/or ice cream constituted a vacation meal: at least 5 (peanut butter chocolate chip ice cream was a repeat favourite)

Number of overpriced sheriffs badges I bought while drunk (on a winners high and cheap rum) shopping under the grandstand- 1

Number of shopping regrets I have- o

Number of 300lbs pound pigs I saw- 1

Number of hikes that were almost ruined because I have a bladder the size of a poker chip- 1

Number of minutes I was in line for the first showing of the new Harry Potter movie-97

Number of conversations I had about Harry Potter- I’m going to guess conservatively and say 2,342,348

Number of pictures I have with me and a man dressed as a sailor- 1

Number of conversations I had about anal beads, inverted nipples, and/or people with ‘long’ boobs- at least 3, but I started drinking to forget so the number could be higher.

And that concludes my vacation recap.

Dudes! I have returned. I plan on filling you all in on my Crave cupcake eating, margarita slurping, Harry Potter screaming, Chuckwagon watching, jazz cigarette finding, Bon Jovi concert watching, cute shoe shopping, knee-deep water wading adventure. But first, a little housekeeping. I put forth the task of asking me a few questions while I was gone, and you all did. Ask. A. LOT. It’s taken some time, but I’ve got them all answered. Now, I plan on tackling my google reader. So grab a snack, and sit back to learn all the things you never thought you’d ever find out about me. Happy Weekend!

Egan asked: How did you first discover blogs and how has blogging changed you?

Well, I have to admit I was really slow joining the blogwagon. I always really enjoyed writing, but shared my love by writing extensively and then EMAILING my thoughts to all my friends regardless if they wanted to hear about it or not. (Because really, what better way to show your love of writing by forcing people to read it?) I had an ex-boyfriend who started a blog, and so I started reading it (something I don’t recommend anyone doing- not his in particular, but reading an ex’s blog) suddenly I realized I could write whatever I wanted and didn’t have to ram it down someones throat- there was an alternative. I could write, and if someone wanted to comment they could. Ta-Da! I also realized that people who blogged were not all pretentious, shut-in recluses who wore coke-bottle glasses and only spoke in binary code. It was a great moment. As for how it changed me, I think it’s made me more reflective. And I know that I try and look at situations now whether they are ridiculously funny or horribly sad and try to figure out how I can best share it- in a way that’s entertaining while still staying true to what happened.

Bre asked: What does your 5 year happiness plan look like? As in - if in five years you will be blissfully happy, what will happen in the meanwhile to get you there?

Good question- one that my guidance counsellor in university asked me a few times and was met with blank stares. I think I have a better understanding of what it will look like now, but also understand it’s always changing as I learn more about myself and discover new interests. I do know that I will need to be EMPLOYED. FULL-TIME. IN A SCHOOL. WITH CHILDREN. That’s a big one (hence the capitals). I suppose true happiness comes when you feel you are using your greatest strengths to the best of your ability (wait, I think I just ripped off a JRK quote), and until I have a full-time teaching job I suspect I will always be a bit unsatisfied. Also, a stable relationship with a man who likes to make me breakfast in bed would be nice.

Justrun asked: Can we please have pictures of Stampede?!

I’m going to use all my superheroic powers to try and produce pictures.

Michael C asked: What is your position on the warming at the poles with relationship to very fat penguins who seemingly against all odds can actually walk? How does that relate to the United States’ tax policies as it corresponds to the cubicle wall manufacturing industry? Oh, should I choose a grape ICEE or a Cherry one?

I’m going to spend a bit of time reflecting on the first two (my brain is a bit mushy from many margaritas and the intoxicating smell of suntan lotion), but will say unless you are choosing a fruit to EAT,- always chose grape over cherry. Cherry flavored anything is never as good as grape flavored anything. And that is the not my opinion, it’s the law.

Airam asked: What would you had if your captain took you up on the “suck my dick offer”?

Depends. Is he cute?

Nic asked: As a teacher, I know you have the perfect answer to ‘why is the sky blue?’ True, I could google it, but I much prefer the answer of a REAL authority on the subject. Also, do you know the way to San Jose?

The sky is blue because it looks the prettiest with the clouds. Seriously though, I hate to do my profession wrong, but it’s been my experience that most teachers don’t know things like that off the top of their head because all their cranium space is saved for things like ‘how to spot head lice at fifty paces’. However, I will say that I know that it does have something to do with the light rays from the sun and how they are affected once they enter the atmosphere. Sadly, if you want more detail I’m going to have to google it. As for San Jose, I don’t know how to get there but even if I’m drunk, lost in the forest and have just woken up (which has happened but that’s another story for another day), I can always find North. It’s my gift. So, I suspect I could find San Jose eventually.

Sarah asked: What’s the one thing you would never compromise on for love? What’s the big dream you still have for yourself? If you met Kevin Costner, what would you say to his wife?

Loved these! Okay, I would never compromise my self respect for love. I’ve seen too many people whittle down themselves in order to make someone else look good, or feel better. That’s just never been appealing to me. (Second answer: Sanity. Seriously. So many people seem to lose their ability to function when they fall in love. I don’t mean those cute moments where you are spaced out from thinking of how great the other person is, I’m talking those people who completely lose their mind as soon as someones tongue has been placed in their mouth) Big dream I still have for myself? Hmm, I would like to write something. I haven’t figured out what (which relates to why I’ve yet to start this) but I have always wanted to write something… And yes, that’s as far as I get before I get sort of blank about the whole thing. A novel seems like it would be a bit of a problem with my ADD, but who knows.  As for Kev’s wife, I think I would just tell her “Lucky girl!” and then proceed to discuss how stunning I thought her wedding dress was. Because nothing brings people together like talking about fabulous clothes. (And yes, I love how shallow that sounds.)

t asked: When are you coming to visit me?

If I had my way, I would have been there yesterday (Doesn’t that sound like a line from a country song?)

Ames asked: What 5 things do you like about yourself? What gluten filled goodie do you miss most? What makes you smile everytime you think about it?

Ohhh I love a question that lets me brag! Just kidding. Sort of. Anyway, 5 things I like about myself 1) I’m friendly, even if it makes me look like a fool 2) I will never apologize for my deep seated Harry Potter love 3) I have the amazing ability to smell a jazz cigarette from very far away (I’m trying to figure out how to write this in my resume without it looking bad) 4.) If I have strong opinions about a topic, I will try to educate myself about it so my comments have a foundation 5.) I don’t have trouble thinking of what I like about myself. It’s a fine line between confidence and cockiness, and yet I think I walk it well. ;)  Gluten free goodie I miss the most would have to be cereal. It was always by go-to snack when I was hungry. Sigh. Enviro-kids cereal is just not the same but I’m trying. As for what makes me smile, I loved this question! It’s hard to say just one so I will ramble off a few- free anything, holidays with my family, patio time with friends, old people who hold hands, singing along to really bad music on the highway, Jon Stewart and a good shoe sale.

Amanda the queen of comments asked: Levis or Wranglers? If you had the chance to read HP#7 TODAY (a whole 15 days before everyone else), would you do it? What is your favorite play/musical? How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

The jeans depend on the butt. I would say 98% of the population looks better in Levi’s but when a guy has the junk to fill out wranglers, it’s a good moment. I’m a total Levi girl, but I’ve got a pair of my dad’s Wranglers from the 70’s that are so wicked. About HP, I wouldn’t read it. I would really, really, really want to, but there’s no way I would be able to keep the secret of what happened so I would rather be anxiously excited with everyone else rather than be the smug lone reader who can’t say anything for fear of letting something slip. I’m curious to know what you would do. Favourite play would have to be “the Importance of Being Ernest”. I know it’s a bit of a cliche to pick it, but I really do love Oscar Wilde and there’s just so many great lines in it. Besides, it’s what introduced me to cucumber sandwiches, so how can it be bad? I saw Blithe Spirit and really enjoyed that too though. Oh, and Seussical the Musical was pretty rad. As for the woodchuck, depends. Is he in a union? What’s his work ethic like? Is he in an unhappy marriage and using work as an excuse to avoid going home? If he is, I bet he could chuck a lot more than the happily married guy who can’t wait to get home.

Lefty asked: Why doesn’t Canada ever invade anyone? Chicken? How did you get such a kick ass national anthem?

Oh Lefty. I think Canada doesn’t invade anyone we are more of a ‘make love not war’ sort of country. Or at the very least a ‘make some peace, not war’ sort of country. Or perhaps it’s because we are too sidetracked with hockey and perfecting our POUTINE recipes to plan a war.  As for our anthem, I suspect it was a songwriting contest where the winner got a case of beer. However I could be wrong.

The Exception asked:  What are your favorite books? Where would you live if you could? What is our favorite thing to do in your free time?What are your favorite books for kids?

Oh man! The favourite books question could be an entire blog post all on it’s own. If I was held at gunpoint and forced to choose five they would be: “The Great Gatsby”, “A Girls Guide to Hunting and Fishing”, “Harry Potter”, “A Short History of Nearly Everything” and “Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close”. However, if you asked me tomorrow, I bet I would name five completely different books with as much passion as I chose these. This is the burden this book whore bears. If I could live anywhere, I think I would live in Calgary. It’s not a very exciting choice but I’ve been there twice in the last month and a half and I’ve re-fallen in love with it. It’s such a green city, close to the mountains and there’s always stuff to do. Plus, they have the Crave cupcake. Or you know, Fiji. Because I do love the beach. My current favourite thing to do in my spare time is look at my suitcase and imagine that’s unpacked itself. Or, I could dork out and tell you that I do love watching old episodes of “The Office”, or writing. I’ve also started taking my ipod and going to a park in town to read, which has been nice and relaxing. Favourite books for kids? Oh I love this question. Well, obviously Harry Potter. I appreciate how there are many layers to the books, so that everyone- regardless of age can get something out of it. The magic element sparks imagination, but I value the books because they show that an individual doesn’t have to be rich, or old to make a difference- or to be right. A lesson that I think is important for children to know. For older children, I like “Little Women” or “Anne of Green Gables”. Both were favourites for me, and each had really strong female characters. I love all Dr. Seuss, but must say my heart belongs to Robert Munsch. If you teach kids, or have kids, I pretty much think his books are a necessity to your life- like oxygen.

Beth asked What 3 beauty products couldn’t you live without? I’m looking for brand and shade here!

Ohh, if you could only see my bathroom you would understand how difficult this was for me. Okay, if I had to choose…
- Voluminious mascara (black) by Loreal (I think the world can be divided into those who love Great Lash by Mabelline and those who despise it. I despise it)
- Island Hop body mist by the Gap- It’s the best smelling body spray ever. It’s a vacation in a bottle. When I put it on, I honestly fall in love with myself all over again.
- Benefit Hoola bronzer- The next best thing to having an actual tan..
- Air kiss lipgloss by Clinque- And yes I realize it’s more than 3, but I couldn’t leave this out. I love it so much when I was backpacking Europe and had no money and was feeling rather homesick, my good friend Trout bought it for me.

Ally asked: How old are you? How long was your longest relationship? How long have you been a teacher?

I’m the big 25, turning 26 in less than two months, which makes me nervous. 26 is on the other side of the 20’s- and I’m the first one out of all my friends to go there. It’s funny how a silly number can affect someone. Longest relationship was 9 months. Somedays it felt like much longer, sometimes it felt like much shorter. I graduated in 2005, so technically I’ve been a teacher for two glorious years. (Sidenote- I recently realized that I was making more money through scholarships/bursaries while going to school than what I make now. Depressing,yes?)

Beth asked: What are your fears in life?

It used to be JK Rowling dying before book 7 could be released. Now, that I see the book almost within my grasp I’m sleeping easier at night. I will say that I have an irrational fear of mice. I try to think of them as friendly little dress makers (similar to Cinderella’s friends), but it never sticks. I’m also scared of swimming when I can’t see the bottom, hairy spiders, my appendages dangling over the edge of my bed when I sleep, George W Bush, snakes, people who don’t believe in global warming and never accomplishing something worth noting.

Ashwathy asked: Tell us about your fave books and authors!

Well, I listed some of my favourite books above, but favourite authors would have to be Lolly Winston, Ernest Hemmingway, Melissa Banks, Elizabeth Berg, Jeffrey Archer, Wally Lamb, Leo Tolstoy and Sue Miller.  Jeffrey Archer has a book of short stories called “To Cut a long story short“, which includes the story titled “The grass is always greener”. That particular short story I think should be mandatory reading for someone as soon as they come out of the womb.

brookem asked: How long do you think you’ll continue blogging for? do you ever see it ending? If  you could only keep one pair of shoes (the horror!) out of your closet, and had to give the rest away, which one would you keep, and why?What actress do you most resemble?

Ahh I’m at the end (and what great questions to end on.). Hmm, I think I will stop blogging when I don’t have anything to say. I don’t want to become someone who writes daily about what cereal I’m eating, or how much I might be hating work. Granted, I do have those days where that’s all I can find to talk about, and I do read people who write about those things and I enjoy it. But, I wouldn’t be happy if that’s all I ever wrote about, so we shall see when it ends. The shoe question was very difficult for me to answer and I ping-ponged back and forth on a couple pairs but I’ve settled on one pair- black, knee high suede boots. My magic boots. My rockstar boots. And in the summer, I suppose I would pull a Britney and just go barefoot. As for an actress I most resemble, I don’t know. Someone blonde and short- perhaps Drew Barrymore? But she’s starting to look far more put together than I ever could. If only Mandy Moore was blonde again I would say her. Definetly someone who looks normal.