Sexing & Ovary Shots May 29, 2007
Posted by brandy in open letter, school, teaching, work.trackback
Dear School Board District,
Hi, it’s me again. Remember me… Brandy? From last year? When I sent you 17 applications for various teaching jobs and didn’t get a single call for an interview? When I called so meek and polite and asked if there was something I could do to at least get my foot in the door and you said ‘no’ in the smug way that only someone who has a job can say?
I’m back.
See, here’s the thing. I’m a pretty confident girl, but not getting a single call for an interview was a really sharp punch to my ovaries. I worried what a $40,000 degree was worth when I couldn’t get a job. I worried there was something wrong with my resume and pored over it look for the flaw that screamed out “DON’T HIRE ME!”. Then, a kind teacher pulled me aside and filled me in on the little tricks you minxes pull.
You already have someone hired, or close to signing a contract by the time you advertise for the job. So, while I was photocopying my resume repeatedly (and destroying the rainforest in the process), spending sleepless nights wondering if my references were strong enough, you were sleeping soundly at night knowing who your teachers for the fall were already going to be.
Well played School Board, well played.
I suspect you think I will give up, give in or perhaps move to China for a year to teach like everyone else. That is where you have me all wrong School Board. You see, I will send in my applications again this year (each one weighing as much as a phone book, inches thick with required papers and photocopies of degrees/transcripts/course evaluations/teacher comments), but I won’t worry. Because, unlike last year I won’t lose sleep over this. I’ve stopped thinking your call will determine if I’m a teacher.
I’ve learned I already am.
I took the classes, I’ve got the degree. But more importantly, I’ve played doctor dodgeball with 36 grade 1’s who can’t go outside to play. I’ve had a grade 1 girl ask if I could please be her mom, a grade 11 girl spit on me (and throw a textbook, but that’s a different post for a different day), and a grade 2 boy ask what ’sexing’ is. I’ve taught lessons how to determine perimeter, lectured on Louis Riel and demonstrated the proper way to handwrite the letter “G”. I’ve checked heads for lice, feet for indoor shoes, and desks for moldly sandwiches. I’ve sent kids to the office, to the nurse, home with a letter telling their parents they were a extra great helper that day.
I’ve given out band-aids, gold stars and detentions.
In short, I am a teacher. I would even use the term ‘fantastic teacher’,- and I’m not one to brag, that’s just a fact. I’ve been in a different classroom each day this past year and now I want my own. If you don’t hire me, one of us will be disappointed and I know it won’t be me. Because I know I will be a great teacher somewhere. It’s just up to you if I get to be that great teacher in your school or someone else’s.
I just hope you don’t screw up again this year.
Sincerely,
Brandy
p.s. My fingers are crossed for the kindergarten position, so see what you can do.
Man do I not miss the days of not knowing where I’ll be in September. I remember when I was fresh out of school I sent out a resume to every single elementary school in the school board. I would say about 90. A lot of envelopes, stamps and paper. I had to tough it out for two years though doing LTO’s. Luckily I landed the job of the one and only interview I got. I did two years of LTO’s at that school and am in my second full time year there. For people who don’t have an “in” with the school board, a foot in the door usually means doing a mat leave. There were people who got hired permanently before I did even though they came in after me because (big surprise) they had a connection with someone at the school or school board. So I had to sit and wait. But it paid off (mind you I think the fact that I went on vacation with the principal the summer before I got hired permanently had something to do with it but that’s a story for another time).
You will get hired because you are putting yourself out there and trust me people will take notice. Good luck! I’ll have my fingers crossed for you!
I would PAY MONEY to be present when a school board employee opened something like this. GOOD money.
Airam- Yeah, I think the mat leave path is the one I’m going to have to take. Oh well, it’s at least a start right?? (And vacationing with the principal?? I NEED to look into that!)
Swistle- I’m not going to lie, I seriously considering sending in something like this. If I don’t get a job, I can always sub forever.
Wonderful letter! I agree with Swistle, I’d pay money to see the face on a school board member reading that letter.
You know, if you can’t get a job teaching (which of course you will, because you’re fantastic) you could totally get a job writing letters of complaint.
I’ll keep my fingers crossed that you get good job news soon, hun!
With the credentials and experience you have, I would let you teach my twin girls when they start kindergarten in July. And believe me, there’s nothing wrong with being short — and I stand tall in that belief…just not tall enough
Best of luck and here’s hoping that you wear the school district cronies down!
My fingers are crossed for you too. One has to hope the school board doesn’t make the same mistake twice! Good luck…
Best wishes for next year!
bravo. like the letter. like the attitude.
(also, my sister’s a teacher. when i hear the shinanigans that go on to get a permanent position…and then the insider trading that goes on once you’re in, it’s a wonder to me that they ever bring on new teachers at all).
After reading this, I feel like finding every single one of my elementary school teachers and thanking them! And perhaps buying them some alcohol.
good luck!
i love this letter. they’d be complete asshats if they didn’t hire you!
maybe you should start sleeping with the principals?
I feel your pain! School boards are so full of politics, it makes me crazy. Hey, I think they are hiring in South Alabama. It’s warm here and I live here. You could stay in my bonus room. Just a thought.
Brandy - OMG - you SO need to use that (ok, w/ the appropriate edits) as your base “cover” letter on teachers-teachers.org!!!
i spent this weekend scanning and uploading all the items they ask you to upload as PDF files too…. (the free primo setup - once you do it, the files become ADOBE PDF files….its a pain in the A*S but, once they are in…. it’ll be worth it…
2 years ago, when i graduated - i LITERALLY got hired by word of mouth 2 DAYS before school started by a district where you only get hired 3 ways: 1) by word of mouth, 2) nepotism, 3) you are having an affair w/ someone… and my interview was a joke
i am lucky in that i am one of the few who got in and am LIKED by my supervisors (oh yeah, because i do what i am asked w/o being told a 2nd time and i do it correctly - and i only bug them when i don’t know what to do or there is a problem)… typically in my district, you don’t get your bid number (so you can request transfers) till you have been there 2 years - i got mine after 1 semester!.. (of course i couldnt USE it until this past january)… then, no one EVER actually gets to move to where they WANT to go when they are new… i DID - i got to choose from EVERY bid i put in for - UN-F*Kin HEARD OF!!!
i am going to 3 interview fairs in the next 3 weeks AND one interview because i need to get out of this town……..i know i am trying to walk away from a good job situation - but the rest of my life sucks
once your time comes hon, you WILL rock it like the rock star that you are! (and if you have any specific questions, feel free to e-mail me!)
What they do is nasty! I know it happens in a lot of places. But that doesn’t stop it from it being a nasty nasty thing to do. Ugh…
I do hope you get a class of your own.
I wish i can do something with kids’ education. That’d be the next thing i’d want to try out if i get the opportunity - although not mainstream education. Let’s see.
Erm… I am curious about the 11th grader…
fingers crossed for you, love!
have you tried the private school route? that is sometimes an easier door to get in
and for what it’s worth, I think you would totally rock kindergarten!
Paige- well, if I don’t get a teaching job maybe I will look into taking money from people and having them watch school board officials read my letters. Got to pay the bills somehow…
Beth- Thanks Beth! I wonder if I could turn that into a job. Someone comes to me with a complaint and together we craft the best/worst letter to send off. I’m sure people would be willing to pay to have that feeling of satisfaction…
Michael- Awesome! I appreciate your comment and feel that if at LEAST one person thinks I’m great enough to teach their kids, then that’s enough to keep me sending long winded letters and heavy resumes to all the school boards. And the thing is, your kids would have a great time with me. Besides actually being qualified to you know, teach children, I’m excellent at hopscotch and am well versed childrens pop culture (minus “Bratz” dolls, because I seriously think they should be outlawed. Those dolls and kitty sweatshirts should just be rounded up and burned. I’m not kidding.)
Cheryl- Oh thanks so much! I hope they don’t either!!
Double-A- Thanks! And hey, what’s with the “Double A”? Why did that start?
Hippiechyck- Yeah, all the political stuff involved in teaching isn’t cool. And your sister is a teacher?? What grade??
Princess of the Universe- Do it! Or at the very least, promise me that if you see an old teacher that you at least say hi. It’s so disappointing when the kids you teach don’t say hi afterwards because they are shy.
Kate- Thanks Miss Kate!
Brrr- lol !You know, the thought crossed my mind, but I’m going to try and get a job based on my resume first and see how that goes…
Jennifer- I should! And then I could borrow that cute top I liked that you deemed stripper-ish. And I could show you that wordpress.com isn’t the devil.
question girl- Man! It does sound like you got lucky! Good for you though, for not just weighing a successful life by your job and wanting more. Fingers crossed for you!! (And I may email if something comes up!!)
Bungi- It’s just really frustrating, but what can you do?? As for the 11 grade girl, yikes. She made Lindsay Lohan look like as tame as Betty White (because it is my goal to incorporate the Golden Girls in at least one comment resposne for the rest of my life)
Kathryn- Oh thanks! And actually, it’s funny that you mentioned private school, I’m going to sub in one for the next two weeks starting this Friday!!
hey Maybe you should come to India instead of China. The kids will stand up when you enter the class room and say “good morning, maam” and you can make them stand on their desks if they misbehave! And yes, you can teach and they will learn :p
ps - I had fun reading the post…I hope you get to actually send it to them someday. And maybe they’ll have you in mind when they put out the next advert.
You sound like an awesome teacher…definitely fun!
Great stuff here Brandy. I have a huge amount of respect for teachers. I think the world of people like you who voluntarily decide to teach our children about the world. You can ask Airam for more details on this. I wish you the best of luck. You’ve got a tremendous head on shoulders and it will pay off.
I must hear Airam’s story about the principal. It sounds kind of naughty.
good luck!! The world’s education systems need more teachers like you! Your letter had me laughing so hard I almost woke me roommate…
And hey! I’m one of those ‘everyone else’ that is going away to China to teach…except I’ll be in Spain ;P
P.S. I meant to say “my” roommate. Sorry, didn’t mean to sound like a pirate or anything.
Okay, Brandy. I want you to send this letter in, and then when my little girl starts kindergarten this fall, I want you to be her teacher. Deal?
Well girl, you can write… so know that you have a back up career possibility if the school board continues to be dumb - a&%es.
Good luck! I would love to have had you as a teacher - I am sure class time is a hoot. Seriously best of luck.
Oh and I caught the Canadia-ism - grade 1. Okay enough I am off the Canada thing for now.
We’re rooting for you Brandy! Any school board and every classroom will be lucky to have you!!!
eghan, i was wondering the same thing about airam’s principal getaway. hmm. she’s a wild one that girl!
Good luck! I’m thinking about a teaching career. I just can’t seem to find a niche in the world of medicine. I feel out of place here.
Brandy, I’ve got fingers and toes crossed for you! good luck!
Fingers crossed too! Because I know exactly what it is to fall in love with a position you’ll never be considered for! Your post reminded me of a poem by Taylor Mali (also known as my very favorite poet alive today aka man I’m dying to meet aka wonderous) called “What Teachers Make”…. I think you’ll enjoy it:
http://www.taylormali.com/index.cfm?webid=13
Good luck Brandy. That is such a sassy letter and would be pretty funny to send. Eh I remember being checked for head lice when I was in elementary school—yuck! Makes me itch!
I’m rooting for you sweetie! I’ve got my fingers, toes, arms, legs, and eyes crossed for you (and hoping people don’t look at me funny).
Great letter btw, had me in stitches!
Good for you! I’m always a fan of the positive-but-in-your-face attitude. And everyone else will pick up on your confidence too and they’ll be throwing jobs at you! Now if you happen to find a school in need of a librarian …. (ha ha)
you’ve got the right attitude!
Good luck! I suggest you send that out as a cover letter to the school boards…
pam- Thanks so much!
Anju- Standing ON their desk?? Wow! I’ve never heard of that. As for India, if this teaching thing doesn’t fly this year, I just might move!
egan- Spelling mistake noted!
As for teaching, I feel lucky to be in a profession that so many people really value. Thanks for the nice compliment!
Michelle- I giggled at the ‘me roommate’ part. And I actually think more people need to talk like pirates. And thanks for the good wishes!
brillig- Absolutely!!
desiree- Oh thanks! I suppose if it doesn’t work out I will commit myself to writing open letters for other people. That, or go live in a van down by the river. Sigh. I miss Chris Farley.
Anne- Thanks! And US people don’t say grade 1? What do you say? The first grade?
Carrie- Oh thanks! See, this is why I like blogging, so many darn nice people!!
egg- I think medicine would be an extremely tricky field, good for you for attempting it! If you do decide to become a teacher, email me and we can chat about all the options!!
Bre- I loved that!! Thanks for sending it my way! I emailed it to all the teachers on my msn list!
nutzonaroll- Oh thanks for the good wishes. As for lice, I’m the same way. Just typing it makes me want to scratch my head
Ruby- Thanks, and I hope you are having a better day today
Cyndi- Me too!! (And secret brandy fact #430- I always wanted tobe a librarian!!
Sizzle- Thanks!
Kefla- I’m thinking about it!
Can you explain what “sexing” is….exactly? Sounds horrible *cough* did I just say that?
Good luck, sounds like you and your gold stars make an awesome teacher!!!
Wow, teaching must be a very fulfilling job, even if its a little frustrating sometimes?! Like I said before, your life is so interesting, or is it that you make it that way?! Have a nice time..
I think you’re a fantastic teacher! What a great letter
I heard the same thing about already having teachers in mind when jobs are posted :S
Great post.
One of my best friends is just finishing up her teaching degree, and dealing with all these same issues.
It makes me wonder why everyone pays lip service to “baby boomers retiring” and “huge teaching vacancies” when everyone (at least around here) has to get a second job for their first five years of teaching.
[...] I’m not sure what started it really. It could have been seeing a dead body last weekend, or feeling like my boss has declared jihad on me. It could have been the realization I’m not as healthy as what I think I am- despite giving up all the food (AND BEER!) I love. It could have been a nurse who ignored my wish to try a different vein but gave me the startled look when she felt the ’crunch’ of the needle going through the scar tissue on the spot I told her not to try. It could have been the fact that it’s been unbearably hot and I have a truck with no air conditioning. It could be that I forgot to get paid, I ran out of gas or that Ann Coulter has been talking again. It could be that my feelings have been hurt in the worst possible way- by someone who doesn’t even realize it. (And if you are like me, knowing they don’t realize it makes the feeling that much worse). It could be the fact that despite 17 attempts- I don’t have a teaching job in the fall. Not even the kindergarten position I really wanted. [...]
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