10 Reasons Why I’m Not A Famous Blogger December 2, 2009
Posted by brandy in 1/2 funny 1/2 serious 100% important, I'm yoda. Everyone else is a grasshopper, blogs, confession of the day, it's almost like a meme, italics make it appear more thoughtful/interesting, lists, question of the day, right on my sleeve, self improvement, the title says it all, the world according to me, things I don't say outloud, top 10, what i found when i went looking, you're skimming this one.46 comments
You know, you’ve done it too. You find yourself with 10 minutes to spare, click ‘bookmarks’ and scroll down to a famous blogger you have bookmarked. I’m not talking famous in your world blogger, the kind that your particular blogger group, seems to have crowned homecoming king or queen, I’m talking about famous to the ENTIRE world blogger. The kind of blogger who has one name- and everybody knows it. You scroll down to their too hip for more than one syllable name, and click- waiting for that feeling of envy and happiness to rise up inside you, like it does whenever you read something so good you are angry at yourself for not thinking to write it first.
And you find yourself asking, “is that it?”.
Granted, every blogger- famous or not, has posts that they feel ‘meh’ about when they hit publish. Not every post is going to hit your g-spot when you are writing it- or your audiences when they read it. Sometimes you write to say what you have to say- and do so plainly, without transition sentences or similes or even a hint of a humor to win over the crowd. But I can’t help but notice that some of the famous to the whole world bloggers, seem to write just like you or I- (and so many of you write better than people who have book deals, this fuels a rage in me that cannot be quelled) and yet they are getting free flickr accounts appliances and book deals and 1.2 million followers on twitter.
Which sucks.
So, I decided that it has to be more than writing that makes a blogger famous. I’ve delved deep into the murky underworld of blogging and have come up with my top 10 reasons Why I’m not a famous blogger.
1. I do not have a child who is adorable and let’s me dress her/him in etsy finds and take roughly 943054375648329576 pictures of her/him. Or a zany pet that teaches me life lessons on the regular.
2. For the longest time, I thought ‘bloggies‘ were like groupies. So I was confused when people talked about they wanted a ‘ bloggy’, I mean… sure, I get it. Everyone wants a following but it just seemed like a weird word. Later in life, I found out that a ‘bloggy’ is the name of prestigious blogging award.
3. I say things like “Which sucks.” And think that’s a valuable and articulate thought worth sharing with the universe.
4. I take pictures like this (scroll down to see the masterpiece). There will never be an award winning photo on my blog. Ever. Although, let’s face it. Those shoes are so adorable they should win an award.
5. No one has changed my name into a verb (unlike Dooce).
6. I don’t cook. At all. I will never have a website that showcases pictures of the homemade mac n’ cheese I just whipped up with 129 rare ingredients. (This also won’t happen because of #4. Seriously though, The Pioneer Woman needs a new bloggie… bloggy? The woman can take a picture. Seriously, she could take a photo of a piece of celery smeared in dog poop and could make it look appetizing. THAT, my friends, is what we call a gift and deserves an award).
7. The idea of changing my masthead yearly monthly, makes me break out in hives.
8. I do not have the ability to make all my current favourite things look pretty and organized like Whoorl (I’d also cut off all my limbs for her hair. Sure, I’d lack the arms to brush it, but it would be so alluring- people would volunteer for the honors).
9. I don’t get google wave, I’m not hooked up to Brizzly, I haven’t purchased an iphone and I cross my fingers everytime I send a picture to twitter because there’s a 93% chance I didn’t send it correctly.
10. I write lists about why I’m not famous instead of complaining about the 4,593 comments I received for my last post.
Would you want to be a famous blogger?
Awesome pluses to consider: Free stuff, getting paid to blog, a wider audience to ask for advice on topics that stump your brain.
Debbie Downers to consider: No privacy, wider audience = more negative feedback, pressure to write often, random strangers feeling like they have the right to tell you they hate your haircut.
“Jamie Oliver. A man good with his hands who can cook for me? What’s not to crush on?!” November 30, 2009
Posted by brandy in the secret project.10 comments
The Secret Project: Crush Edition is here! Email me at brandyismagic@gmail.com if you have one to share! As always, I’m still taking submissions (for the Crush Editions and the good ol’ regular Secret Project), so if you have something you’d like to share- a crush or otherwise, feel free to email me. Also! At the bottom of this post, you’ll see who won the True and False Quiz from Friday. Go to her site and say congratulations and belated happy birthday!
1. I have a crush on the exterminator who comes to my mom’s house. He baits the traps and sprays for termites, and he’s so goddamn hot. Sometimes I wish he’s actually a stripper and he’ll come inside, rip of his Terminix uniform, and give me a lapdance. Yes I really just said that!
2. Lately I’ve come to realize that I may have a little bit of a problem… I tend to fall in love with fictional characters… Do you think this could be why I am having trouble finding love?? I am in love with Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory… Not Jim Parsons the actor but Sheldon the character… Have you watched a show?? If you do you’ll know why! Or there was the geeky hacker on Numbers… loved him to. I could keep going but I’ve realized this week that I love fictional characters and then wonder why I struggle when real life people don’t measure up…
3. Miss Doxie. I want to be her when I grow up.
4. Edward. ‘Nuff said. 
5. Elisabeth Hasselbeck. Yes, I know, she’s annoying. My boyfriend reminds me of this daily but if we are talking about secret girl crushes, she would be #1 on my list. I disagree with everything she says but she’s pretty hot!
6. The principal of my school. He’s married, with three kids and every single time we are in the photocopying together, all I think about is him fucking me on the workroom table. It’s too the point now, where I blush when I see him. I keep telling myself this will pass but it’s been a few months now and my feelings haven’t changed. Cross your fingers they do soon.
7. One of the construction guys I pass on my way to work each day. He’s the most gorgeous man I’ve ever seen. I’m not kidding you ladies, he looks at me and I get wet. His co-workers are loud and obnoxious but this guy doesn’t say a peep. I want to rip my clothes off everytime I walk by.
8. Kobe Bryant. Yes, I know he’s an asshole, but assholes are my type!
9. My secret crush is my literature professor. He looks like an older Christan Bale but he wears tweed and recites sonnets. What’s not to love? The only thing stopping me from throwing myself at him is his wedding ring. Damn you morals.
10. I’m from the US, but I’m currently backpacking with my best friend, my best friend since the fifth grade- actually. We left in Sept=, and are coming back in January and somewhere in October, while in Greece- I realized I love him. Love with teh capital L sort of Love. I want to tell him but if he doesn’t feel the same way, it will ruin the rest of the trip. So I’m keeping this secret to myself and hoping that when we get back and I tell him, he feels the same way too. Thank you for giving me a place to share this crush. It’s been eating me up inside.
As for the True and False Winner from Friday: It was Miss Leah. Aka, the very first person who responded. Clearly I need to work on my True and False statements, almost all of you guessed correctly! I hadn’t seen New Moon when I wrote it (I have now! Post on that later). So, here is the promised haiku for Leah:
Hooray birthday girl!
Blondes need to stick together
I’m so glad you won
True or False? November 26, 2009
Posted by brandy in games we play, these are the things that happen to me, vague is vogue, wasting time, when i ask you to do things for me, you're skimming this one.23 comments
*So, I’m pretty much in love with my life right now. The one drawback to being this happy (other than the fact that it’s freaking annoying to hear about), is that it’s left little room for blogging lately. There’s been so much going on, I thought a fun way to re-cap a few of the high (and low) lights would be to do a True & False Day, rather than me use 89 paragraphs and enough run on sentences to make the grammar police weep.
I have listed 5 sentences below. 4 of them are true, 1 is false. The first person to correctly identify which are true and which is false, will win a prize a haiku written just for them. Now that I’ve raised the stakes so high you have no choice but to participate, let the games begin!
1. During parent teacher interviews, my lip started to bleed because I was biting it so hard to prevent me from laughing. A parent was talking to her son about how he needs to work on his report card and when he complained she said “Boy, if you don’t smarten up, no more gymnastics!” and when he protested, she followed it up with “I know you love to twirl, but learning comes first”.
2. On November 10th, we had a moment of silence at school to remember the veterans (because there was no school on the 11th). I had worked extensively with my kids on drilling in how important this day was, why we had that moment, what it meant to stand quietly and give silent thanks to those who worked so hard to keep us safe. And during that moment of silence, one of the kids in my class farted. And everyone remained stonefaced, except me. I had to turn my head and close my eyes from laughing. I still feel bad about it.
3. I’ve recently discovered the show “Rome” (on HBO) and I am loving it in unhealthy ways.
4. I’ve seen Twilight and I loved every second.
5. For only the second time in my life, I ordered a coke while out for dinner. I still don’t get the appeal.
* I wrote this a few days ago. It’s insane how often my words bite me in the ass.
Tuesday is for Music Lovers II
November 24, 2009
Posted by brandy in blame country music, confession of the day, don't judge me based on my love for bad music, earning my dork badge, it's almost like a meme, lists, music.
28 comments
I previously did a post where I discussed six songs that dragged me down memory lane. I will use any excuse to listen to the tragic songs on my itunes, so I decided to spend the day listening to my entire collection (again, not just the six songs I play on repeat), while wrapping Christmas gifts (yes, I’m that annoying person this year- before you hate me consider the fact maybe I’m wrapping a gift for you?) and recall a few more stand out tracks.
Last time I did this, I had others join along and post their own memorable songs on their own blog, which I loved. Especially those who posted lists that included some questionable tunes (re: Anything by Soul Decision, Destiny’s Child or Michael Jackson after the trial). Which reminds me, if all six of your songs are super, hip, ultra obscure songs- there’s a chance I’m going to want to punch you in the kidney. I do not trust people who do not like at least one awful song on their computer. It’s like people who don’t have an ugly sweater in their closet. Everyone has an ugly sweater. Having an ugly sweater means a) you made a bad choice while shopping b) you got drunk while shopping and mistook the garish item in your closet for a Michael Kors look-a-like or c)someone made for you and you are too nice to give it away. So if you DON’T have an ugly sweater in your closet (or a bad song in your music collection- please try to keep up with this analogy), it means you’ve never made a bad choice, have never consumed a bottle of the grape before afternoon shopping and/or are nasty and return homemade gifts. In which case, you deserve the kidney shot. A double kidney shot if you gave a way a sweater your grandmother made for you.
On with the songs!
1. “Let’s Begin“- Bad Ronald
First of all, I have no idea how this song ever got in my collection. The content really isn’t my bag of weed, I’ve never found that hobby entertaining. NO JUDGMENT, JUST SAYING. But for reasons I will never fully be able to articulate, this song used to be in heavy rotation. I mean, I listened to it daily. Often before going to work, where I would finger go to work in the ghetto and try and get kids to not beat my truck with a pipe in the parking lot use manners.
2. “Push” – Matchbox Twenty (20?)
Oh hello song from my angst ridden teenage years. I used to listen to this song on repeat and lay in my bed feeling like NO ONE UNDERSTANDS MY SOUL. I mean, I FELT this song- every lyric, every sigh, every over sung word- I felt it. I had no freaking clue what it was about until a day in grade 10 when I was talking about how it was my favourite song and a girl who I despised with the heat of a thousand Arabian deserts said “oh that’s nice. Your favourite song is about a girl getting raped”. Cue catfight. Just kidding. But I did give her stink eye (that’s about as violent as I’m ever going to get, but oh the wrath of my stink eye is a powerful and painful thing).
3. “Stay“- Coal
I was never a girl who begged for a dude to stay with her. If he wanted to go- I wanted him gone (this relates directly to my dating mantra). I could not (and cannot) live happily with someone who is searching for an exit route. But after a particularly bad breakup, I heard this song and it it stabbed me. Repeatedly. In my aortic area. It was the line “I don’t need to be your only one”, that got me- I had never wavered on who I was, what I deserved until then. But for a brief 4 minutes and 34 seconds, I let myself wallow and immerse myself in the desperate plea of begging a man to stay no matter the cost. And it sucked. So I peeled myself off the floor, threw his shit in the dumpster (true story, it was even raining which made it more dramatic) and got in with the business of living.
4. “Criminal“- Fiona Apple
My love for this song is completely unexplainable. When I hear it, I have a deep seated urge to swipe on red lipstick, load up on the black eyeliner, and slink around in flimsy clothes with a cigarette hanging out of my mouth. And in this daydream, my hair is long, dark and mysteriously covering my eyes (In this vision, I’m also fluent in Spanish and have a firm grasp on Russian literature and drink whiskey straight from the bottle- these details are neither here nor there). Maybe because it’s a song that makes me imagine myself in a completely different way (I’ve yet to master red lipstick, or you know RUSSIAN), or the lyrics are completely unlike me- but I dig it. (My sultry daydream pseudo Fiona Apple twinsy version of me never says “I dig it”, or you know, the word “twinsy”).
5. ” Brown Eyed Girl“- Van Morrison
This song reminds me of every Saturday night out in highschool, college, university and all the days inbetweenbefore and after. It reminds me of smeared mascara, hands in the air sort of dancing, the kind where you are surrounded by those who know you best. The ones who split their last beer with you because you missed last call. It reminds me of those nights when we were all single, spent too much money on jeans and too much time on men who didn’t deserve it. Maybe it’s because it takes me back so clearly to those nights where we would take over the dance floor and sing along like we were auditioning to be the fourth member of the band or maybe it’s just because I can so clearly recall a group of my absolute favourite people on Earth all in one place, in a single moment, fingers pointing at each other, singing until we were hoarse and smiling so hard it hurt, either way- it always makes me smile.
What old songs on your ipod make you smile? Break your heart? Also, what song are you currently addicted to? If you say the Glee soundtrack, here is my soul- let’s get married.
“I have a folder of naked pictures of myself on my computer labeled Important Tax Documents.” November 23, 2009
Posted by brandy in the secret project.34 comments
It’s The Secret Project!
You know the drill- email me at brandyismagic@gmail.com if you have one to share! As always, I’m still taking submissions (for the Crush Editions and the good ol’ regular Secret Project), so if you have something you’d like to share- a crush or otherwise, feel free to email me!
In other news, GOOOOO COLTS! Okay, that as obnoxious as I will allow myself to be on a Monday morning. You. Are. Welcome.
1. I really want a man. But I’m going to go off to college next August, so I’m unsure of what to do. Is it worth still trying to get a guy if I’ll be moving out-of-state in less than a year? I can’t figure out if I should just give up right now and wait to see what comes my way once I move or if I should try to have some fun before I leave.
2. I’m 21 years old and a new Army wife. I’ve been a newlywed for six months, four of which I spent without my husband (who was training in Georgia), and have noticed that I want to die more than I want to live. I don’t want to be here anymore. What is more depressing is that I could never muster up the strength to actually go through with it. I’ve begun to wish something would just happen to me.
3. Though I have no reason to be, I am surprisingly racist. I never make eye contact with anyone of a different race or creed. I mutter obscenities under my breath when someone different does something I deem ridiculous. I hate this about myself but still can’t help to laugh when I hear a new racist influenced joke.
4. I masturbate to The Family Guy.
5. After being married for 5 years, I’ve realized that I would be happier single. When I got married 5 years ago, it felt like the right thing at that time, but people change, and now I’m stuck in a marriage that has me gasping for air. Now, how do you tell all this to your spouse who desperately adores you? Ya don’t, you just deal with it.
6. I fart in my sleep. The other night, it was so bad it woke my husband up. He asked if it was him and I lied and told him it was.
7. I’m sleeping with the boss. 
8. I’m 32 years old, successful, with a great job and a loving family and I don’t know how to make friends. I can go to work, walk into a boardroom and nail a presentation- but I have no idea how one goes about making friends after the age of 9. I love my husband but I miss having a girlfriend in my life, someone who will willingly go to New Moon with me, or talk about makeup.
9. I hate tipping. I mean, I understand that some people have jobs that have a lower hourly wage, but at the same time, I get frustrated because those people took those jobs. I went to school, have a job that barely pays the bills and no one tips me. Some of my best friends work in lounges and pubs and they routinely bring home two, to three times the amount of money I do. I know it’s a flawed system, but it’s frustrating when I get a look of disapproval when people don’t like the tip I leave on the table. It makes me feel cheap and mean and I assure you, I’m neither.
1o. I want a hemorrhoid, just so I can name it like the other secret posters.
Are you ready? November 22, 2009
Posted by brandy in AHHHHHHHHHHH!, I sound drunk but I assure you I am not, confession of the day, hello universe? I love you, i should be a P.S.A., it makes sense to me, jumping off bridges, learning, sometimes you just have to leap, the less i worry the happier i am, the world according to me.14 comments
Despite what movies and books tell you, there usually isn’t an ‘ah ha!’ moment. You won’t find yourself ironing your shirt and then suddenly decide to give up on routine, give in to what you want, let go of what you don’t need. No, no, it doesn’t work that way. It creeps on you, it seeps into your veins, nests deep inside your brain, takes up residence in your heart- and without warning or intention, you find yourself ready to leap for great big things and break out of the routine that you’ve called your LIFE.
Suddenly you think less about the practicalities that used to fill the gaps of your day and your mind drifts to things like plane tickets and holidays and airport greetings. You are dizzy with the speed at which your world spins forward. And it’s not just the shift in focus that catches you off guard, it’s the urgency that surrounds it. Yesterday was forever ago, today is too long and tomorrow cannot come soon enough for all the things you want to do, the words you want to say, the world you want to experience.
And you realize now, that it’s possible to live like this- to find potential and excitement in each day and not allow yourself to be bogged down by routine. You stand on the edge of everything that is familiar and ordinary and look out into a sea of unknowns- and for the first time appreciate the view. You are wise enough to leap with your eyes open, for you’ve learned that the brave leap is something to be remembered, not just everything that comes after.
And people will ask questions, of course they will. Everyone will want to know the secret to your smile. Some will ask practical questions, others will raise doubts, yet far more will surround you with the comforting encouragement one needs before jumping. As the questions mount, excitement builds and time flies by, you know there is only one question that truly matters- there is only one question that ever will.
Are you ready?
Good.
Now, leap.
“My gay best friend. It’s so cliche I wanna puke.” November 16, 2009
Posted by brandy in the secret project.17 comments
New Secret Project: Crush Edition! (I may be using a lot of exclamation marks today because holy geez! The Colts! Won! In an intense game! *And I almost peed my pants!)
1. My crush is on my physiotherapist. I’m not sure what it is – whether it’s just that he’s the only man to touch me right now - or that he can make me cry with pain but sometimes afterwards I finally experience a few pain-free hours. I talk “properly” to him more than I ever did with my last boyfriend and he keeps on joking that I need to be able to run again so we can play tennis, but I suspect he’s just a really nice guy.
2. Doni. Just… yes.
3. I never do things like this, but I can’t put this in my own blog. There is a guy that I pseudo-dated off and on and had “relations” with last fall. We were never “official” and don’t know each other as well as I’d like us to, but when something great or awful happens, he’s the first one I want to tell. If he showed up on my doorstep tomorrow, I’d ask him to marry me.
4. I have a secret crush on my stepbrother. I KNOW I KNOW. But we go to the same school and I had the biggest crush on him before our parents started dating. I’m so embarrassed about this that I can’t tell anyone and you would think that being related to him now would change how I feel but it hasn’t. And I feel like a huge freak. 
5. I know you are a Colts fan, but I’m going to go with Tom Brady. Yum!
6. Sizzle from Sizzle Says. She’s fierce, funny and completely her own woman. Plus, she’s helluva writer and always seems so damn happy.
7. My dad’s best friend. Awkward much?
8. I’m in love with a blogger. A male blogger. And since the blogger pool can be sort of …. well, everyone knows everyone else, I am too scared to say his name (Even anonymously!) but I am 100% smitten with him and he has zero idea. I want to tell him but… Im not sure how to. Suggestions????
9. The guy who came last week and fixed my internet. I have no idea when I will see him again, but part of me is wishing my internet would break again just so I can see this guy again.
10. My best friend. Who is a girl. And i’m a girl. And I’m dating her brother. Wrap your brain around that one. I’m so screwed.
* Technically, I didn’t almost pee my pants out of excitement, **I almost peed them because I convinced myself if I waited to go pee until the game was over, the Colts would win. My bladder may be forever damaged but for that kind of victory? It was totally worth it.
** I realize how crazy this makes me sound. I’m okay with it.
Here’s what they didn’t tell you November 12, 2009
Posted by brandy in I've fallen into a funk and I can't get up, and now you might know everything, because "guilt" is a dirty word, confession of the day, disappointment, here is my heart, i should be a P.S.A., i'm the sum of my failures and my achivements, introspection sometimes causes me to drink, it happened this week, it seemed like a good idea at the time..., it's not you it's me, life lesson, overwhelmed doesn't even begin..., right on my sleeve, something I won't forget, the one that nobody reads because of the title, the world according to me, this one is about you, when i say it anyway.comments closed
They didn’t tell you how fun blogging could be. How excited you would be when you got your first comment, when you saw your name on someone’s blogroll, when you plucked out a handful of words from the vast English language to make sentence you were proud to write. A sentence that you would re-read because you loved it so much, a sentence that would ring in your head and roll off your tongue like poetry. No, they didn’t tell you that.
They didn’t tell you about the community. My word, the community. The people you would meet, the friends you would make. The ones who would reach farther- past posts about hair or pop culture or ways you embarrass yourself on a daily basis and email you when you wrote about the things you dared not say out loud. Who reached out to you minutes after you posted something that left you weeping, who offered words of comfort, a shoulder to cry on, a couch to curl up on if you ever wanted to visit. No, they didn’t tell you about that.
No one told you that blogging would open you up to people who would encourage you when you were tired, cheer you on when you reached your goal and be there when you didn’t. And no one told you that bloggers would be the best sources of what books to read, what movies to see, shops to visit, countries to travel to. No one told you that bloggers would be there to help fix your computer, give advice on shampoo or recommend sites that leave you laughing for days. No one told you that blogging would be your free pass to a world of awesome. No one told you that at your fingertips you would be able to find a welcoming, positive community that would care so much for you, it would take your breath away.
But?
No one told you that blogging could hurt people. It’s a place that’s hard to explain unless you live in it. It’s a massive world, where inside jokes flourish. It’s easy to take things out of context, miss the meaning, lose the message. It’s easy to imagine what’s not there, what never was. It’s easy for a harmless post to hurt, a random comment to ruin a moment, a perceived relationship to strain another. No one told you that. No one.
No one told you that it’s easy for your blog to become a crutch to lean against rather than a platform to stand on. It’s easy for it to turn into so many things it never was meant to be. No one mentioned how effortlessly it is to fall into a routine where you update your closest friends through a blog post- rather than the phone call they deserve. A routine that brings out the laziest, least caring version of yourself- the kind that sends condolences through a blog comment rather than an email or phone call. The kind of routine where it takes you days to reply to thoughtful comments that people have so carefully constructed and shared. The kind of routine that makes you shake your head at yourself, ashamed at how thoughtless such a thoughtful person has become. No, no one mentioned that.
No one tells you any of these things, and suddenly you find yourself knee deep in trouble, aching for everything to be different. Wondering how you got here and more importantly, how do you ever go back.
My lips are sealed. Kind of. Not really November 8, 2009
Posted by brandy in AHHHHHHHHHHH!, advice, confession of the day, hello universe? I love you, i should be a cheerleader, i think my sweetness gave you a cavity, it makes sense to me, men, no i haven't gotten laid, something I won't forget, sometimes you just have to leap, the one that nobody reads because of the title, when i ask you to do things for me.33 comments
You know, for all my waxing about love and like and movies starring both Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks- I’m not easily wooed. I tend to be the girl who is not impressed when a dude comes over to talk because he’s usually cutting in to the great time I’m already having with my friends. (Real life friends who read the blog? Feel free to chime in and confirm this bitchy behavior I exhibit).
And when a guy manages to get into a conversation? I’m easy to cut him loose if I feel like he’s not quality. (For the record, “quality” doesn’t have anything to do with his hair or bank account balance. It’s when he uses mentions he’d like to ‘*cum on my tits’ within minutes of meeting me that I do inventory and he gets taken off the shelf and thrown into the ‘damaged goods’ bin, never to be looked at again). And maybe it’s because I’m getting older and going out less- or maybe it’s because I’m getting older and getting more picky, or maybe it’s just because I’m getting older… but I’m finding I’m expecting more and settling for less.
Which is why when I do find someone who I realize I’m smitten with, I like to review how it happened. Re-trace the steps to see exactly when I found myself wanting to hold up a boombox to their window. The absolute best part of such an exercise is when you review it all and realize ‘holy hell, this person is really amazing and not only that? They’ve done some pretty stellar things and if I liked them a little bit less, I’d want to tell the entire world internet world everything they’ve done. But, I like them so much I don’t want to share everything. Because I’m greedy and weird and like them too much.”
So, I’m not sharing everything. But I will say this: anyone who agrees to watch the 8 hour John Adams mini-series with me, is someone who is going to get a thumbs up. **Oh and I’m going to be in Seattle at the end of December. If you’ve been there or live there and want to give me some tips on awesome things to do, you should.
* The year: 2003. A man actually said that to me within minutes of meeting me. And then was horribly offended that such a declaration didn’t make my vagina swoon.
**I expect squealing emails from some of you now. I’m fully prepared for it. Ready, set, go!
